Day Jar Voo!
Day 01 - Just Another Day
The sunlight peeping out of the curtain caused Keitaro to stir and groan. He had the greatest dream of his life; it involved Kitsune and Motoko, and they were dressed in bunny outfits, exposing generous helpings of thighs and cleavage. Keitaro sighed as he slowly got out of bed. He knew it was too good to be true.
Stripping off his pyjamas (which were an unfashionable brown colour) and replacing them with his usual attire (yellow shirt, green jumper, grey socks and what look like school trousers), Keitaro yawned as he looked at the calendar. Today was Friday the thirteenth, a day, according to legend, was supposed to be renown for infecting people with bad luck. Keitaro lolled forwards in disbelief. As if the poor lad needed it. With a felt tip pen, Keitaro marked off the thirteenth square with a tick.
After sliding the door open, Keitaro walked into the hallway… and unknowingly trod on a skateboard. Not just any plain ordinary skateboard, but an ultra deluxe high tech Su-made skateboard. Keitaro just so happened to flick on the turbo button with his big toe. He had never flown so fast in his life.
"WAAAAAAGGGHH!! SOMEBODY HELP MEEEE!!" He cried out, flapping his arms for all he was worth.
In the living room, everyone (Naru, Motoko, Shinobu, Kaolla and Kitsune) were all present and accounted for, with the exception of Haruka who was working in the tea shop (anything to get away from those crazy tenants). Everyone was just getting ready for breakfast, when Keitaro made one hell of an entrance. He was whizzing all over the place, screaming for dear life as exhaust fumes surrounded the room. Naturally this caused one gigantic commotion, and all the girls scattered in different directions. The only one enjoying all of this was Kaolla Su. She was having a great time.
The turbo thrusters in the skateboard had dispersed in a puff of black smoke, thus slowing the contraption down to a standstill. Keitaro gracefully landed on the wall with a splat. He peeled himself off and was in a twirling daze of confusion. Like a zombie, Keitaro grabbed hold of the nearest thing he could find… that being Naru's pink t-shirt. Naru's nylon thin pink t-shirt. With an unconscious yank he tore the material in two.
The tenants reacted in their usual way. Kitsune giggled, Kaolla laughed, Shinobu nearly fainted, Motoko had a look of disgust… and Naru… she was having kittens.
When Keitaro came to, he realised the horror shown on Naru's face. Only her tight fitting bra concealed those beautiful orbs. Nothing more.
"Waaaggggh! I'm so sorry Narusegawa-saaaaan!" he wailed.
POW.
Keitaro crashed through the roof and flew into the heart of the sun.
-0-0-
After that disastrous occurrence, Keitaro returned home and joined the tenants for breakfast. He rubbed his sore chin when everyone tucked into their food, lovingly prepared by Shinobu. Good old western styled bacon and eggs with fried bread. Keitaro looked at his plate curiously. He seemed to have a little more than everyone else, but he didn't dwell on the subject. He ate the food and savoured every mouthful of it.
"Mmm! This food is delicious, Shinobu-chan!" Keitaro said.
Shinobu smiled into her plate and blushed. "Th-thanks!"
Naru was lost in thought. Midway through chews, she was looking at a problem displayed on a piece of paper. It was an anagram; a ten letter conundrum jumbled up to test her intelligent mind. Normally she would solve these problems in a flash. This one got her stumped.
"Damn this is annoying!" she groaned in frustration, clutching her hands on her head.
"What's wrong, Narusegawa-san?" asked Keitaro.
"It's this… this stupid puzzle! I can't make heads of tails of it!"
"Perhaps I can help?" asked Motoko.
Sagging her shoulders in defeat, Naru handed the problem over to Motoko. Motoko narrowed her eyes at the puzzle, but surrendered in the end. When Motoko handed the problem to Kitsune, Kitsune said 'meh' and instantly gave it to Kaolla. Kaolla could make a rocket launcher out of a coke can, but her intellect failed when it came to anything not technological. She passed the problem over to Shinobu. The blunette sighed, knowing it was way too complicated for her as well.
"Um, want to have a go, Senpai?" Shinobu asked, giving the problem to Keitaro.
Keitaro accepted it, and Shinobu blushed again when their fingers barely touched. "Sure, I'll give it a shot!" he said.
Naru huffed and put her arms around her waist (by the way she was wearing a fresh t-shirt, just in case most of you were thinking Naru likes to eat breakfast in a near topless state). "Hmph! As if Captain Moron can solve something I can't!"
Keitaro clenched his teeth. He wasn't that stupid, and he would prove it by solving this puzzle before Naru could. Of course, that was easier said than done. Just looking at the darn thing was enough to frazzle Keitaro's brain cells.
"Um, sorry! No chance from me I'm afraid!" Keitaro said, offering the puzzle back to Naru.
Naru snatched the puzzle away. "Figures," she grumbled.
Keitaro sighed.
-0-0-
After a good mornings breakfast, the tenants had their own schedule to be getting on with. Haruka, of course, was still in the tea shop (she must live there permanently), Shinobu, Motoko and Kaolla had school to attend to, and Naru and Keitaro had study leave, so they spent their time revising for the Toudai Entrance Exam. Kitsune planned to spend the rest of the day getting plastered in her room. A sound plan.
Before he would study however, Keitaro had some shopping chores to accomplish. He wanted to do this small task so he could at least get into Naru's good books. There was quite a lot on the list… but at least the weather was nice. Clear blue sky. Bright sun. It was enough to lift Keitaro into good spirits.
"Yo Keitaro! Long time no see!"
"Hey what's up man?"
Keitaro scratched his head. He looked at two guys that looked as dorky as himself.
"Um, do I know you two?" Keitaro asked.
"Uh, hello? Haitani and Shirai?!" Haitani answered.
Shirai added, "Yeah, we're like, only your long time best friends!"
Keitaro then rubbed the back of his neck and laughed. "Ha ha! Oh yeah! Now I remember!"
Haitani and Shirai's faces morphed into gloom mode. "He's the worst," they thought.
And so Keitaro completely forgot what he was doing and decided to venture inside the restaurant called 'Bowling for Beef', an irregular place that combined a fast food joint and a bowling alley together. For some reason it proved quite popular. After playing a few rounds (Keitaro managed to knock down three skittles, a record for him), the three guys sat around a table to order food and drink. Keitaro only had a cola, since he had eaten a short while ago. The other two ordered steak, probably because steak was the only thing on the menu. That and cola.
Haitani glanced at the bar, to which his eyes laid upon a beautiful busty woman wearing a French maiden outfit. She looked in her twenties and was very, very attractive. Her hair looked like long, silky honey, and it was tied up with a delicate pink ribbon.
"Damn, she is so fine!" Haitani said to himself.
"Way outta your league though." commented Shirai.
After one hour of nonsensical conversation and other stuff, Keitaro bid his friends goodbye. Then… he realised he had the shopping to do. Whoops! He should have done that ages ago!
-0-0-
"Where the hell were you?!" barked Naru, when Keitaro returned to Hinata-Sou, "I was starting to get-"
Naru paused for a second. No, she thought, she wasn't going to say the 'w' word.
"Sorry!" Keitaro apologised. His hands were full of shopping bags. "It's just like… well, you see…"
"Ah, forget it," Naru said, "come on, we got studying to be getting on with!"
And so Keitaro followed an impatient Narusegawa up to her room, where they sat cross legged by the low table.
Only the sound of scribbling pens could be heard. Actually… it was just Naru's pen. Keitaro spent most of the time looking dumbfounded and gormless. Keitaro always found the silence between him and Naru unsettling. He wanted to break the ice somehow.
"Um, Narusegawa-san, did you finish the-"
"Yes, I finished the anagram. It was 'apostrophe'." Naru answered. Her eyes were closed at the time.
"Oh, heh heh. I would have never got that." Keitaro laughed nervously.
"That's because you never concentrate." lectured Naru. "If you actually focused once in your life, you might have actually passed on your first try, instead of becoming a three year ronin."
Ouch.
Keitaro felt like saying 'oh yeah, well you failed it too' but Naru failed the exam once. Keitaro failed it three times. Not exactly an accomplishment to be proud of. Inside, Naru felt a little guilty. It was the truth, but she didn't had to be so blunt with her words.
Naru felt like an apology was in order. "Listen Keitaro, I'm-"
Keitaro unconsciously interrupted by saying, "Hey look at the time! It's nearly two and we haven't eaten lunch yet! I'll go and make us something!"
"Um… sure." Naru said.
Naru heard Keitaro slide the door open, his footsteps fading as he went into the kitchen. She placed the pen next to her text book and let out a tiny sigh.
-0-0-
The time was now a few minutes to five. The main doors of Hinata-Sou swung open, and Kaolla, Motoko and Shinobu all bounced into the main room. Well, Kaolla did all the bouncing. The other, more reserved girls just sort of walked in. They all looked adorable in their school uniforms, though Motoko did have a look on her that suggested 'why on earth did they make these skirts so short'.
"Welcome home!" Keitaro greeted them with a bow.
"Good afternoon, diabolical pervert." Motoko greeted back.
Keitaro groaned a sigh. Motoko was never going to accept his acquaintance any time this century.
"Um, good afternoon, s-senpai!" Shinobu said. She blushed and hurried into her room.
Naru walked down the stairs and greeted the blur of Shinobu. Naru sighed when Kaolla gave Keitaro the biggest bear hug in the world. Motoko shook her head and walked away from the vicinity. Being near to a male was sure to give her leprosy.
"Come on Su-chan," Naru politely ordered, "step away from the manager please, before you squeeze him to death."
"Righto Naru-chan!"
Kaolla let go and Keitaro collapsed in a thankful heap.
-0-0-
Keitaro put the phone down and sighed.
"It looks like Haruka still has some things to do in the tea shop." he said to everyone.
The tenants had their own ways of reacting, but it was mostly overruled with a simple 'oh, okay'. Keitaro did wonder what his aunt was up to now and then. At most, he would only see her once or twice a week. Perhaps Haruka had a secret agenda? Perhaps at night she was a superhero solving crime? Keitaro shook his head. He couldn't imagine Haruka wearing a wonder woman outfit. Well he could, but that would be so wrong.
The sky darkened and the time was well past seven. Shinobu cooked up a lovely meal of chicken ramen with vegetables, and the others did not hesitate to dig in. Keitaro looked at his plate. Why did Shinobu always give him that little bit more? Well, he was kinda scrawny. Maybe Shinobu wanted to build him up. Maybe.
-0-0-
After dinner, Keitaro tried his best to clean the house head to toe. Considering the house was very big, cleaning it head to toe was a monstrous challenge. However, Keitaro was used to this by now, and besides, it was his role as a manager to do so, otherwise he would be toe punted into the sky by Naru. Or Motoko. Or Naru and Motoko.
It took much time and effort, but Keitaro, at last, managed to patch up that hole in the roof. You know, that hole he created after Naru punched him skywards. 'Bang! Bang! Bang!' were the final sounds of the hammer meeting the nail. The roof had been successfully restored, and Keitaro wiped a lot of sweat from his forehead. It was quite a task.
Unfortunately, just as Keitaro stood up, he tumbled over into a ball and rolled off the roof, lifting himself upwards like a bike meeting a ramp.
Sploosh!
He landed dead centre in the hot springs. How convenient the girls chose to bathe themselves at this time. All the naked girls surrounded him. Keitaro apologised in about nineteen different languages. All languages fell on deaf ears. Shinobu was the first to depart. She found a towel to cover herself before screaming to her bedroom. Kitsune didn't care much. The fox just stretched her arms and waited for the annihilation to commence. Kaolla launched a metallic fist from a rocket launcher, striking Keitaro clean in the head.
"SECRET TECHNIQUE: BOULDER CUTTING BLADE!!" Motoko cried. She withdrew her sword (from seemingly nowhere) and executed one of her stronger sword techniques. A large ki wave of death launched into Keitaro's chest, causing him to howl in agony.
Finally Naru launched the concluding uppercut to the chin, causing Keitaro to shoot off into the night sky.
"CAN'T YOU GET ENOUGH OF US, YOU FILTHY PERVERT?!?" Naru roared, shaking her fist at the twinkling star called Urashima.
Kitsune giggled to herself as she watched the angry emotions of Naru and Motoko unfold. "My, my… night after night the same thing happens… and still I never get tired of it!"
-0-0-
Keitaro spent the next three hours or so finding his bearings before walking back to Hinata-Sou. When he finally arrived, the house was silent, save for a few rogue crickets chirping away. He had just enough energy to enter his bedroom before collapsing in an instant.
"The same things happen to me everyday," Keitaro grumbled, his face mashed into the pillow, "it's like… it's like my life is a never ending loop…"
…
Disclaimer: I do not own Love Hina or any of its characters.
Author: Hi, this is a new story I decided to work on. I know it's not that funny at the moment, but give it a couple of chapters and you'll grow to enjoy the insanity that follows…