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Hi this is my first one-shot fanfic i would love if you criticize me because I'm really bad at writing, and i would like to improve so if you don't like, don't read.

Hi, my name is Amatsu Yumi, and I'm currently hanging upside down off a cliff with an annoying Tobi who is holding onto my foot.

"GHAA, TOBI! YOU DAMN BASTARD! PULL ME UP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!"

"I'M SOOOORRY, YUMI-CHAN, BUT I'M LOSING MY GRIP!"

"What? You're kidding me, right?" I said in a serious voice filled with fear. Tobi lost the grip on my foot, and I screamed.

"DAMN YOU, TOBI! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!"

Just to think, all this because of a single damn cookie.

I fell into the water and was pulled away. I started to sink, and I couldn't get up to the surface, but just as I lost hope, something pulled me up by the collar. It was THE Devil himself, Hidan.

"What the fuck are you doing, you son of a bitch?" My left eyebrow twitched and a smirk came across my face.

"What the fuck are you smirking about, you bitch?" Hidan asked and put me down so I could actually stand on the ground again.

I replied, "Trying to hide from a jackass who is a believer in someone named Jashin who doesn't even exist and who actually can't die and I think that's weird." Kicking him in the balls, I turned and ran as if all the fires of Hell were on my heels, and that was probably pretty accurate because Hidan was SUUUUPER pissed.

"HELL! YOU FUCKING BITCH! COME BACK HERE SO I CAN CUT YOUR FUCKING BRAINLESS HEAD OFF!" Oh. My. God. He is screaming. I saw Tobi screaming my name after I fell in, you could actually see the tears falling from the hole in the mask as I passed him by.

"TOBI! RUN! HIDE! ANYTHING! HIDAN IS ON HIS WAY TO KILL ME! YOU HAVE TO HIDE ME! SO RUUUN! " I was just a little frantic and kept sprinting, but before I could get much further, I was picked up bridal style by a now running Tobi. But he, being the idiot he is, just had to trip on a rock stuck in the ground. Dear God, why? I felt like moaning to the universe. Falling out of his grip, I was about to hit the ground when someone caught me one foot from the ground. Opening my tightly shut eyes, I looked up and saw that it was Hidan.

Actually, it's kinda weird telling you guys this, but I have a major crush on Hidan, and we are actually dating. We always mock fight to freak everyone out, but really, we're cool. Anyways, I just thought `OH SHIT´. And then, he surprised me.

"You know you didn't think I was going to hurt you for real, right?" I looked at Hidan and saw that he was smiling with just a little pink splash on his cheeks. I smiled and made a hand sign for him to come down so I could reach him. .

"Shall we go to my room or yours?" I gave him a light peck on his mouth.

"Uhm…I would like us to go to your room. It's much more colorful. Come on. Let's go." Before I could say anything else, I was being carried bridal style for the second time, but this time, I was not fleeing.

When we arrived at my room, I saw that someone has been in my underwear drawer.

"Hidan, we have a panty thief in the Akatsuki. And I just realized my favorite bra is gone too." Right then was furious, and I stormed out of my room to my leader Pein's room. Slinging the door open, I screamed, "PEIN-SAMA! SOMEONE HAS STOLEN MY FAVORITE BRA AND PANTIES! FIX IT OR ELSE I'M TEARING THIS CAVE DOWN!" Pein looked at me like I was insane for a moment before he came back to his "normal" state.

"Yumi-san, but I have more important matters than looking for your…ehm...u-u-u-u-underwear *cough* *cough*. He was actually blushing! My leader! BLUSHING! I stormed out of the door and went to find Konan, my girl buddy.

When I arrived, I knocked hard at her door. It took about five minutes until she opened it, and I slung myself over her.

"Whoa, Yumi, I didn't see you coming."

"Konan, it's terrible! Someone has stolen my favorite bra and panties."

"WHAT? WHO WOULD DO THAT? " Wow. That was the first time I had ever heard Konan scream. She started to speak again.

"Wait! I might know who it is because it has already happened to me twice, but you must promise not to be shocked. It's very, VERY surprising." Konan took my hand and started to pull me down the hall. I couldn't tell whose room it was, since the corridors look the damn same to me.

When we got to the door, Konan slammed the door in, and I was SHOCKED indeed, as it was Itachi Uchiha who was holding my favorite bra in his hand.

"M-m-m-m-my b-braaa," I stuttered. "ITACHI UCHIHA! YOU ARE SOO DEAD RIGHT NOW! "

Itachi looked at Konan and me nervously. "E-e-ehm …i-i-it's n-not what you t-t-think i-it is," he protested, looking scared. But, after a couple of beatings from Konan and me, I think he learned his lesson. A minute or two after we hade beaten Itachi up, I remembered I had totally forgotten Hidan.

But, just as I was rounding a corner, I bumped into someone I looked up and saw it was Hidan. My face lit up and I hugged him instantly.

"Gha! I'm soo sorry I left you outside my room! I was just too angry because someone had stolen my underwear." He started laughing and pulled me up into a passionate kiss.

"You know it's nothing to worry about, plus, now my room is nearer than yours. Shall we go, then?"

I chuckled slightly, smiled and said, "Yes please, buuut I gotta tell you something right before we go." Hidan stared at me, confusion splashed across his face. "You know, last time we had sex you didn't wear a condom and I hadn't taken p-pills, soooo what I'm trying to say is that I'm pregnant." His face froze in shock and, then suddenly, his face lit up.

"So that means I'm becoming a father?" I nodded with a tiny 'mhm.' "WHOOOHOOOOO!" He hugged me tightly and ran off probably going to tell it to everyone.

I sighed and chuckled to myself, "We are going to be a great family."