Shrink Warped
by PseudonymOnomous
"It's perfect! I'll never be a girl again!"
Ranma Saotome charged home with reckless abandon. In the two years following his infamous dip in the cursed waters of Jusenkyo's Spring of Drowned Girl, Ranma Saotome had tried numerous quick and not-so-quick fixes to put a stop to the gender-bending he so despised.
"Oh, man, this is great!" He considered with a small shudder the horrors he had endured in his search for a cure: dating Shampoo, dating Kuno, bargaining with and fighting Cologne, forming alliances with Ryoga, Mousse, and Happosai, storming the girls' locker room at school, the list went on.
"Never again, though! I'm going to fix it, once and for all," he screamed gleefully as he bounded through the front door of the Tendo home.
Everyone, including Kasumi noted that the Saotome youth was wild-eyed and laughing maniacally.
Akane thought it wise to speak with him, "Ranma?"
He bowed at the waist, "Yes, Akane? What might I do for you on this fine evening?" Ranma's eyes were bugging out of his skull with vacant joy and he bore a dopey grin.
"You're acting weirder than usual. What's going on?" Akane seemed more concerned than upset.
"I've done it! I've found the way!" He giggled crazily, the pitch nearly-rivaling that of his female self.
"What have you found? What way?" She grew impatient, but tried to keep an even temper.
Ranma winked, waggling his finger in the air, "You'll find out soon enough!"
Knowing for sure that her fiancee had lost it, Akane quietly left his room.
That night, Ranma stole down to the local office supply store, after it had closed for the evening and broke in. "Why didn't I think of this sooner?"
The next morning a low-paid assistant manager noticed that a window was broken as he unlocked the front door of the office superstore where he worked. He turned on the lights to find that everything appeared to still be in order until he arrived in the packing supply department.
There, lying most assuredly dead on the counter, was a pig-tailed young man in chinese clothes, sealed in shrinkwrap.
Ranma had found the cure.
-DONE- Notes: Why bother, but hey, it's all about me now! First of all, I hope you all realize that Ranma had no intention of dying. That was a side-effect of his shrinkwrapping. This was the first fan fic I ever finished. I'm proud of myself. Ranma did really find a cure. I mean, shrink-wrapping oneself would prevent any unwanted outside moisture from getting in. Oh, hell, you guys are no fun. I thought of this when I saw Ranma laughing maniacally in the episode where the cat-fist is first introduced. Flames, please! I mean, nicey-nice words would be nice but I may as well say that I hope that I somebody rips me a new one over this "DARK FIC" (rolling thunder, organ groans) which I secretly didn't label as "DARK FIC" (rolling thunder, organ groans). Or maybe it was really "STUPID FIC" (rolling mimes, kazoo squeal). Either way Feedback is always appreciated regardless of the type.