He hasn't seen her in a year.
A year of hollowed emptiness filled with too much alcohol and self-pity. The stress of the merger combined with the discovery of his daughter, who happens to be a mere six years younger than her, was just too much to bear.
So, she transfers to Mass. Gen, her plan all along. And the apartment is left desolate, with only slight reminders that she had been there in the first place. She leaves his Columbia shirt which she had always fondly worn to sleep, and although at first he could pick up her scent, it is now long gone. It is times like these, when he wishes he is the one with the photographic memory. If only he could close his eyes and play back all those memories.
While he remembers them at first, they too are slowly fading.
As he gets more self-destructive, the rest of the world gets happier, it always seems. The hospital is now functioning as it should, and everybody is blissfully happy. While he received sympathetic glances at first, everyone has moved on.
Occasionally Meredith will bound up to him and Derek exclaiming that she and Lexie just talked and how Lexie loves Boston and her life, and then she'll pause, realize that Mark is standing there, and give him a pitying smile. "She says hi," she says, before turning and planting a kiss on Derek's lips. As if reminding him Lexie exists (although he doesn't forget, not even for a second) isn't enough, but she has to rub in that she and Derek are still irrevocably in love.
And now Owen and Cristina have their shit together long enough for him to propose and her to say yes. As preparations for the wedding commence, rumors circulate that yes, Lexie was sent an invitation, and yes, she will be attending. And while he should feel angry, he can't suppress the warm feeling that is starting to spread throughout his body. This is when he realizes that he truly must be masochistic, because what idiot doesn't mind subjecting himself to all this pain.
As he stands with Derek and all of Owen's other groomsmen, he lays his eyes on her. She's wearing a pink dress, smiling as Owen and Cristina exchange vows and take the plunge into matrimony. She is more beautiful than he remembered, and he can't take his eyes off of her. She turns her head towards him and they lock eyes. She gives him a bright smile, and turns back to Cristina and Owen, who are clasping hands and proceeding back down the aisle. He knows that he has to link arms with Izzie, but he has a hard time taking his eyes off her. Finally, he averts his eyes, and he and Izzie walk out of the chapel. He doesn't see her again, as the bridal party is taken straight to the reception.
They aren't seated at the same table. He watches as Arizona throws herself into Lexie's arms, both girls jumping around, excited to finally see each other after so long. He can't stop the hurt from seeping through his veins. When dinner is eaten the dancing begins, and he watches as Lexie starts to dance with one of Owen's nephews. The kid couldn't be more than eight, and as Lexie spins him around she throws her head back, laughing. He also can't remember her ever this happy.
Finally, he gets up the nerve to cut in, and he gently grabs her hips, maintaining a safe distance between the two of them. As she wraps her arms around his neck she closes the distance and rests her head against his chest. They sway there, silently for a while, and then she lifts her head to peer up at him and give him a smile. "I missed you," she confesses, eyes bright.
He looks down at her and feels his heart leap out of his chest. "I missed you too Little Grey," his voice rough and quiet, as if he doesn't want to admit it.
She rolls her eyes at the nickname, and nuzzles back into his chest. A beat later he hears a muffled, "Are you seeing anyone?"
He hasn't so much as looked at another girl while she's been gone, but instead of confessing that, he decides on a simple, "not at the moment." He contemplates asking her, but his throat constricts and the words catch.
"Neither am I."
He takes her back to the apartment. As she lies in his arms, sated, eye lids heavy, thoughts whir through his head. Does this change things? Is she coming back for good?
His questions are answered in the morning as she kisses him on the cheek and retreats to catch her flight.
When he goes to bed that night he turns all the lights and the television on. He hopes this time, unlike his childhood, it will keep the ghosts away. He's pretty sure though, that this one is here to stay.