Friday Morning, Conference room
I put my hand over my mouth, trying to stifle a yawn.
"Tired, Carter?" Jack asked.
"Sorry, sir." I apologized, only half ashamed.
"I know Daniel's boring, but this is the first time you've ever given in." Jack continued with a smile. I glanced over to Daniel. He was looking at me.
"I didn't get much sleep." I said, glancing back to Jack.
"Well, I think we all get the gist of you were saying, Daniel. Why don't we call it a day?" Jack said, standing up. I also stood up, putting my hand over my mouth to cover up another yawn. I left the conference room and headed to my lab.
"Are you sure you're ok Sam?" I jumped at the sound of Daniel's voice. I hadn't heard him following me.
"Yeah. I just didn't get much sleep, that's all." I told him as I walked over to my computer and sat down. Daniel walked over and stood on the other side of the desk.
"Spent a little too much time partying last night, huh?" Daniel joked.
"Something like that." I said simply. Daniel waited, expecting me to go on. When I didn't, he nodded and left. I wish it had just been partying. Instead, the real reason I didn't get much sleep was because of a dream I had last night. To anybody else, it might have been just a dream, but to me it was a nightmare. It started out at the base. Daniel, Jack, Teal'c, and I were sitting around a table in the cafeteria, talking about random things. Suddenly it was only Jack and me in the cafeteria.
"Are you really happy?" I heard Dad ask, but I couldn't see him. I shook my head, suddenly crying.
"I care for her, a lot more than I should." Jack said, standing up. I stood up as well and faced him. Then I was in his arms, crying into his shoulder.
"Never leave me." I had whispered.
"Don't worry. I won't." he had whispered back. I had woken up, the tears rolling down my cheeks. Even now, I have to blink back tears. I jumped at a knock on my lab door. I quickly wiped away tears and opened it. Jack stood on the other side.
"Sir." I said in surprise.
"Are you alright? You're usually the only one who ever focuses at these debriefings." He asked. I smiled briefly. He was the only one who didn't focus.
"I'm fine sir. Really." I reassured him.
"Ok." He said doubtfully. "I want SG-1 to take the weekend off." He told me.
"But sir," I began, but Jack cut me off.
"Didn't you just say you are tired? It would be a perfect opportunity to take a break." He said, emphasizing the last few words. I sighed. Now, on top of having not-so-great thoughts, I'll have time to think about that dream.
Saturday Morning, Sam's House
I woke up to the sound of the phone ringing Saturday morning. I rolled over and reached for the phone, wondering who would be calling me on my day off. I hoped it would be Jack, telling me they needed me at the base right away. I sighed with disappointment when a female voice answered my hello. It was Linda Krynn, a nurse from the base.
"I'm sorry to bother you on your day off, but I saw something yesterday that I thought you might want to know." She said. I sat up, interested at what would prompt her to call me. "I saw General O'Niell at O'Malley's having lunch with a woman." She continued. My stomach flopped.
"What does that have to do with me?" I asked, trying to sound like I didn't care.
"Well, uh, you know I've spent a lot of time with people…" she started hesitantly, "And I tend to notice things, like when two people love each other and won't admit it." She finished confidently.
"Thanks for telling me." I said weekly.
"You're welcome. I need to get back to work." She told me.
"Right, bye." I said, hanging up the phone. Jack with another woman. It doesn't seem possible. I figured we'd never admit that we love each other, but I never thought that he'd go find another woman. Stop It! I told myself. I went out with Pete, heck I even agreed to marry him! He has every right to go out with someone else. But I can't help but feel hurt. I was planning on spending the rest of the day watching a Lord of the Rings marathon, hoping that Legolas would take my mind off Jack, until Daniel knocked on my door a little after lunch.
"I thought maybe you'd want some company." He told me cheerfully. I really didn't, but I opened the door wider anyway.
"Watching Lord of the Rings? I love that movie." He told me, looking at the paused scene on my TV. I shrugged.
"Are you ok? You seemed a little preoccupied." Daniel said.
"I'm fine." I told him. He looked at me, obviously not believing me. I pushed play on the movie to keep him from asking any questions, but he did anyway.
"This wouldn't have anything to do with Jack's having lunch with a woman?" he asked me cautiously. I tried to keep an innocent face. Had everyone already known about it but me?
"No." I said. Daniel sighed.
"Come on Sam. I know you having feelings for Jack, and you can't hide that." Daniel said. I was silent for a minute. I knew denying my feelings wouldn't work with Daniel, and I needed someone to talk to.
"I shouldn't care, I know, but I can't help it!" I told him in frustration. Daniel didn't say anything for a moment.
"I think you should talk to Jack about this." Daniel told me.
"If he has a girlfriend, talking to him is the last thing that I should do. Besides, what difference would it make? Talking to him doesn't change the regulations." I told him. He shrugged.
"I don't get regulations. I always thought that they were there to keep people from making decisions based on personal feelings. But we're practically family! We almost always consider each other when making decisions, regs or not!" Daniel pointed out. I nodded.
"All that might be true, but that still doesn't change the regs." I also pointed out.
"I guess, but isn't it better to take a chance and defy regs than spend the rest of your lives trying to move on, but not being able to because of each other?" he asked.
"Apparently the general doesn't have any trouble 'moving on'." I said darkly. Daniel shrugged.
"Maybe everybody is over playing it." Daniel suggested.
"Maybe." I said doubtfully.
"Teal'c and I are going to Jack's house tonight to watch hockey. Maybe you should come and then you can ask Jack about it." Daniel said.
I don't think so." I told Daniel. I really don't think I have any room to say anything. If he really did still care for me, he wouldn't have gone out with who ever this mystery woman is.
"Just give it some thought. I need to get the beer for the hockey game, so I'll see you later." Daniel told me. I went back to watching the movie as Daniel left. It had been about fifteen minutes when I fell asleep. When I awoke, it was about seven. I sighed as I stopped LOTR. The hockey game had just started. I briefly considered Daniel's suggestion. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all. Before I realized what I was doing, I was in my car driving toward Jack's house. I kept telling myself that I was crazy, but I continued to drive. When I arrived at Jack's house, I sat in my car for a minute, considering whether or not I really wanted to go through with it. I nervously walked up the path, and, to my embarrassment, walked right in. I froze for a moment, and then quickly retreated to the outside of the door. I took a deep breath and knocked. Jack opened the door and gave me a questioning look.
"Good afternoon sir." I said cheerfully, trying to appear natural.
"Afternoon Carter." He said hesitantly. "Do you want to come in and watch hockey?"
"Actually, sir, could we just talk out here for a minute?" I asked him. He glanced back inside at the TV, and I thought for a minute he might refuse. Instead, he turned back to me and shrugged.
"Sure." He said, stepping outside to join me. I could see Daniel and Teal'c through the front window, Daniel giving me a thumbs-up and Teal'c looking at me with one eyebrow raised. I glanced back at forth between them for a moment. Jack was looking at me expectantly. On impulse, I reached up, grabbed Jack's head, and kissed him. Then I quickly turned around and ran to my car before Jack could react. I was already pulling out of his drive when he started walking toward me. I proceeded to mentally kick myself for the next fifteen minutes until my beeper went off. One glance and I seriously considered throwing it out the window. It was the base, telling me they needed me right away. I made a detour and was at the base in ten minutes. The beeper said to report directly to the debriefing room, but when I walked in, I had to stop and stare in shock. Jack was standing in front of the windows to the gate room, holding a dozen long stemmed red roses. I briefly recalled having a dream similar to this.
"These are for whatever it is that I apparently did wrong." Jack said, seeing the shocked look on my face.
"What you did wrong?" I echoed.
"Yeah, when you left Daniel said something about me being a fool." He told me, looking a little confused. I stared at him for a few minutes longer until I remembered why I kissed him in the first place.
"What the heck is wrong with you! First, you go out with some woman without even having the courtesy of even mentioning her, and now you're practically cheating on her with me!" I yelled at him.
"What are you talking about?" he asked, the confused look back on his face. I couldn't believe he was going to act innocent.
"Don't you dare try to deny it! Nurse Krynn saw you!" I continued shouting. "You were having lunch with her at O'Malley's!" The confusion was gone from his face, replaced by amusement, which only caused me to get even angrier. I turned and started for the door, but Jack stopped me before I could escape.
"Sam, you got it all wrong!" he said, still sounding amused. I was too angry to notice that he had called me by my first name.
"Oh, really? What exactly did I get wrong? The part where you're holding roses for me or the part where you still care for me?" I snapped.
"Neither." He said calmly. "I was having lunch with my sister, Maddie. She is in town for a few days." I looked at his face. He looked like he was telling the truth, but I couldn't buy it.
"You're lying." I said simply, yanking my arm out of his grasp and starting out the door.
"Sam, wait!" he called after me, but I continued walking. I hadn't gotten very far when he grabbed my arm, whipped me around, and kissed me softly before I could react.
"I could never care for anyone the way I care about you." He whispered in my ear, pulling me into an embrace. This time I believed him. We stood there in the hall, each finally surrendering to the feelings we had hidden from each other for so long.