A/N::: Okay, my first attempt at a Mortal Instrument fanfic, let alone a Jace/Clary one. So, hope you like it. Oh, and the song it by Red, Christian rock band. Not that hip hop one. The rock one. ;D
Disclaimer::: The Mortal Instruments series rightfully belongs to Cassandra Clare, and so do the characters. I have no association with the song either, sadly.
Pieces
Jace P.O.V
Being drunk is never fun. First, there's the risk of alcohol poisoning, blah blah blah. Then there's the throwing up and hangover. Hangovers are never fun either. But the worst part about "being under the influence" is the after effect. When you're light-headed and don't know what you're doing. You might do something stupid in front of your friends. Or maybe even the one you love.
Everywhere I look, she's there. But not alone, or then I would've have asked her to dance. She was with him. That… that bloodsucker. I hate him so much it's disgusting. Jace Wayland is never jealous. Of anyone. But suddenly he comes along and I want to be him. To hold her without getting stares. To kiss her without whispers. But he can do both with only getting minor "warnings" like, "You better take good care of Jocelyn's daughter." He's so god damn lucky this party for Valentine's death and Jocelyn's recovery is being held at the Institute, or I would've dragged him away a while back ago and "accidentally" lose him when he's actually drugged in a closet knocked unconscious. But no one needs to know the truth. But this unholy cretin knows this place. And every time I look at them, they're laughing and dancing. So I'll ignore them.
"Gimme another shhhot," I slurred to the bartender. My head was pounding, but it's not like I cared. I gripped the cool glass and closed my tired eyes, blocking out the rest of the world. The pounding was starting to go away until I heard her piercing laugh accompanied by HIS. I downed the strong liquid as I heard them coming towards me. My throat and eyes burned. I squeezed my eyes shut and breathed n sharply through clenched teeth.
"Hey Jace-" but I cut her off. I got up abruptly, scraping the stool against the ground, causing her to flinch, to my satisfaction. I made my face black as I faced them.
"Clarissa." I knew she hated it when I said her full name. she winced slightly.
"Bloodsucker." I caught his scowl and her face of disapproval. I walked away briskly, letting them know I wanted to be alone and not followed.
Normal P.O.V
A boy with curly golden locks stumbled through the small crowds, bumping into guests. He apologized and kept going until he reached a narrow corridor and staggered into the nearest bathroom, leaving behind a befuddled girl with emerald eyes and red curls who stood with a pale boy with black locks who was known as the "Daylighter." The only known vampire able to withstand sunlight. The girl, known as Clary, sighed.
"What's with him?" Simon, the vampire, asked. She averted her eyes to the ground.
"I… don't know." When in reality she did. But she didn't want to admit it. She felt a light pressure on her back. She turned to see her best friend smiling a bland smile.
"Go." He said.
"What?" now she was really confused.
"With him. Jace. He needs your support right now." He avoided looking her straight in the eyes, but she knew he was hurting. But so is your brother. So she squeezed his hand lightly, promising to be back before the last song, and went off in search of her impassive brother.
Jace P.O.V
I immediately locked the door and rushed to the toilet. I barely made it before I puked my guts out. I puked for five minutes straight. A new record. I sat back, leaning against the tub, feeling the cool granite digging into my back. At some point, my jacket got covered retch, so it now sat in the tub behind me. I sat on the edge, slowing maneuvering myself to the sink, nearly smacking my head against the sink. With trembling fingers, I splashed ice cold water on my face and in my mouth, trying to rid of the nasty aftertaste. Now that can really sober someone up. I wiped off the droplets looked at my reflection. I had black bags under my eyes from sleepless nights. My eyes were bloodshot red, the golden color gone. I splashed more water on my face, hoping to get rid of the sickening image. My eyes were now a pinkish color. I splashed one more time, but didn't glance at the mirror. Instead, I made my way out, my feet wandering further away from the crowd to the place I knew by heart.
Clary P.O.V
I knocked on the bathroom door lightly.
"Jace?" I whispered. No response. You'd think he'd be in a bathroom throwing up. This was the twentieth bathroom I checked and still no Jace. I turned the knob and opened the door. It was empty. But it had a stale nasty scent. Damn, I probably just missed him. I closed the door and decided to wander the place that was like my second home. Being at Luke's place isn't bad, especially since Mom is back, but when I need fresh air, I come here. I soon reached the infirmary, the first place I actually met Isabelle. I turned right and went down a hallway that held room for traveling Nephilims on both sides. Candles hung next to each door, casting an eerie glow down the pathway. I walked down the hall and was met with a wall, which diverged into to narrower hallways. The pixie band was playing a soft song, but it was blaring throughout most of the Institute. So I went right, declining the noise for quietness. As I walked on, I heard softer playing. But not like the band. It was heavenly. It got louder as I approached a door at the end of the hall, revealing a slightly ajar door. I reached the doorway and gasped.
Jace P.O.V
I sat down on the piano bench. I don't know exactly why I came here instead of my room, but I just had to get away. From the party. From the people. From her. But as I placed my scarred thin fingers on the keys, I realized I needed to … how do you say it… express myself? Without hurting anyone. No matter how badly I wanted to, I knew I couldn't.
No one knew about the song I wrote. It was for her, obviously. But it's not like they needed to know.
I closed my eyes. I knew this song like the first rune I drew. I pressed down with both hands. Slide them a across a few keys and pressed down again. I played for about a minute and thirty seconds before I was able to summon my voice.
I'm here againA thousand miles away from you A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I amI tried so hardThought I could do this on my own I've lost so much along the way
I remembered when I first met Clary. I knew there was something about her. I wanted to get to know her, unlike all the other girls I've dated. I didn't realize I was broken before I met her. I'd lost everything. Until I found her.
Then I'll see your faceI know I'm finally yours I find everything I thought I lost before You call my name I come to you in pieces So you can make me whole
This was exactly how I felt, no matter how much I denied it. I found family when I found her. I opened myself to her. She opened up a new life for me. And then she shut me out. Because of the kisses we shared? Was it because of the undeniable love we shared? No. It's because of the blood pulsing though our veins.
I've come undone But you make sense of who I am Like puzzle pieces in your eye
The only things I could hear were my broken voice and the melody of the song. But my mind was raging with thoughts.
Then I'll see your faceI know I'm finally yours I find everything I thought I lost before You call my name I come to you in pieces So you can make me whole!
By now my fingers were slamming on the keys. My breathes were shallow and short. I know I should calm down before something happens. But my pent up anger was coming undone. So I let the music take me, swallowing me whole. Putting my emotions in every word. I was leaving myself bare. And it was foolish of me.
I tried so hard! So hard!I tried so hard!
I slowed down a bit. But I kept going.
Then I'll see your faceI know I'm finally yours I find everything I thought I lost before You call my name I come to you in pieces So you can make me wholeSo you can make me whole
My hands were shaking. My throat hurt. But nothing hurt more then when I heard tiny sobs coming from the doorway.
"J-Jace…" So she heard. My voice. My heart. My broken messed up heart. I got up and took a few steps towards her.
Her hand was covering her mouth which was letting out heart-breaking whimpers. Her other hand was clutching her stomach.
"I'm sorry, Clary." Am I really hurting her this much? So much, she wants to vomit? I took another step towards her, barely in reaching distance. Isabelle had played dress-up again. I could see her glimmering eye shadow. Her lips looked plumped and pink. She wore a white strapless dress that hugged all her curves, stopping right before her knees. "I… I didn't intend for you to hear it. It's just… I feel-"but before I got to finish, she cut me off with a shaking raised hand.
"Don't." she rasped. Don't what? I took another step towards her, trying to comfort her, but she hastily stumbled back against the door, causing a loud echoing boom. I flinched.
"Clary… I didn't want you to hear it. I was just messing around-"I stopped short, not sure how to explain.
"No Jace. Just- just don't do this to me. To yourself. What would our mother say? Luke? Our friends? What about-"
"I don't care." I murmured angrily. I clenched my fists to keep myself from doing anything rash. "I don't care anymore, Clary. That woman – and Luke don't mean much to me. And the others? They don't care. They know. It's obvious. The way we look at each other," she opened her mouth to object but I kept talking. "they saw how we kissed at the Seelie Court. You can't deny it, Clarissa. There isn't anymore pretending." I was looking at the wooden floor, shaking my head. No more pretending.
"I wasn't talking about the Lightwoods and Simon." She said quietly. I raised my head to see if she'd say who only to see her gazing out the doorway, her jaw set. And then I realized what she meant.
"They don't have to know," I whispered. She didn't move. "We could go somewhere far. Somewhere we can start over. Without anyone knowing. We'll leave our pasts behind us and start a new life; together." She looked at me now as I pleaded. She looked tired, as if all this talk about us being together sucked the life out of her. Her shoulders slumped as she shook her head.
"That's nearly impossible, Jace. You and I both know that. What about our familes? What will our mom say when she wakes up and finds out her kids ran away together? It'll destroy her. The Lightwoods will be devastated." She paused, a distant gaze in her eyes. I made her emerald orbs look into my determined ones. No way was I giving up this easily.
"Alec and isabelle will understand. Can't we just try, Clary? Please, we can keep it a secret. No one has to know. We'll go somewhere out of the Clave's grasp. They won't be able to harm us. We'll be untouchable. Please, Clary." My eyes stung. My throat, still sore from before was as dry as my mouth. But nothing would hurt more than the bitter taste of rejection. And I was braced for it. But… she didn't move. Didn't speak, either. Her face was a mixture of confusion, sadness and hope. I might as well let her know how I truly feel.
"I love you, Clarissa. And I'll love you until the day I die. Until my heart stops beating and I breathe my last breath. And if there's a life after that, I'll love you even then." I was staring at the crescent moon. So beautiful. I looked back at her shocked expression. Yet so out of reach.
"J-Jace…" she took a step towards me and stumbled over her own feet. My instincts kicked in as I reached out and caught her arm effortlessly. She gasped at how close we were, our bodies pressed against one another. Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around her, drinking her in. she felt good pressed up against me. She moved her hand to my chest, a feeble attempt to push me away.
"I bent my head down to her ear and whispered, "Please, Clary. Do this for me. For yourself." I could feel her breath against my neck. It felt like centuries before she responded.
"Okay." She whispered. I felt my breath catch in my throat. She said yes. "I love you to, Jace. God, I've been dying to tell you. I'll love you until the end of the world. But I'll probably love you after that." I couldn't help but let a small chuckle out. She's really willing to leave everything behind… for me. My face felt damp. I blinked. Tears? I haven't cried since my father "died". And she's made me do the impossible, yet again. I hugged her closer, not wanting to let her go.
"I've found everything I've thought I lost before." I whispered in her ear. And it's true. I have.
A/N::: wow, 2,434 words. hope you enjoyed the fanfic. please review? anyways, thanks for reading!!
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