Waiting..That's what im always for him to see the side of me I've always wanted him to see. He's not going to see it. He never does. l dont know why im waiting for it.
Lifting my mug, I take a sip of my now lukewarm coffee. I've been sitting here for almost 40 minutes, knowing the one in my thoughts passes by here every day around this time after he gets off work. Just once i want him to see me. To know how I feel. To possibly feel the same things I do. But that's not a possibility. It never really is.
As my thoughts continued to scavenge my mind, I can see a figure crossing the street.
Its him...
Suddenly, nervousness over comes my body as I stand up and walk out of the coffee shop. Everything seems to go in slow motion. I may be the fastest thing alive but affection and nervousness still affect me like everyone else. It's nature. It's real.
As I get closer, I can see the individual hairs on his body, the frown he wears so handsomely, his black fur with red streaks..
Shit, shit, shit, shit..
Before I could turn away and not confront the person I long for, he notices me. His crimson colored eyes gaze into mine and I cant help but continue to walk closer to him.
"Hey, Shadow!" I basically chirped.
He looks me over before answering with one swift word,"Faker."
I really wish he would stop calling me that.
"How's it going?" Good god I hope I dont sound like Im too.. enthusiastic.
"Its fine," He crosses his arms, a scowl still planted firmly on his muzzle.
"What do you want, hedgehog?" Shadow continues to basically stare me down.
Sighing, I break eye contact and look to the left,"I wanted to talk to you. But not here. Could we go somewhere private?"
I could still feel his gorgeous eyes looking at me,"Fine."
Before I could discuss where to go, he walks away. Turning on my heels, I follow close behind, staying uncharacteristically quiet.
We arrive at his house on a lone road, with large open spaces. I have never been to his house so I took in as much as I could.
Wow Shadow. Way to pick out a nice house..
I sat down on his silver colored couch and waited for him to return to the living room from the kitchen so we could discuss the things that have been troubling me.
After a few more moments, he returns with a cup of coffee for himself and a glass of water for me.
"What is it that you wanted to talk about,"He didn't break eye contact from the moment he sat down.
Taking a gulp of my water, i set it down on the coffee table,"Well you see, heh, uh.."
great.. tongue tied again..Looking away from his mesmerizing gaze, I suddenly blurted the words out.
"I love you."
Silence.
Nothing said for what seemed like forever.
My ears folded back, knowing he doesnt feel the same about me. I stood up, ready to leave when i feel fingers wrap firmly around my arm.
He stands up. I can feel him getting closer. His hot, coffee scented breath flowing across my skin.
Suddenly, he leans in and i cant help but do the same. Our lips touch. A feeling I've longed for so much is finally here. Before i could wrap my arms around his neck to deepen the kiss, he pulls away.
"We cant do this."
I guess he noticed my saddened features.
"We cant do this because I am immortal, Sonic. You will get older and i will still look and be the same as i am today. It will not work in the end," He lets go of my arm, sits down on the couch once more and sighs.
Quickly sitting next to him, i try to come up with somwthing, anything.
"But.. why dont we enjoy what we have now and worry about the future later?"
"The 'future' is just a concept, Hedgehog. as soon as you say something it becomes the past. As soon as you think something, its a possibility for the future. The future is not years away the future is now." He looked back at me, an unfamiliar emotion deep in his crimson eyes.
"Sonic," A shiver climbed up my spine, sadness overwhelming my entire being. "you have to go."
Without thinking, I stood up and left, already knowing there were tears forming in my eyes. It took me so long to show him how I truly felt and then when I find out he feels the same towards me, we find this.. barrier that prevents us from being with each other.
He cant love me... but what if we just.. love eachother for now? While we can? My thoughts scurried around my head clouding my logical thinking. Before I knew it, I was already home. Already in my room. Sitting on my bed, not knowing what to do.
Sighing, I walked in to the bathroom connected to my bedroom. Turning on the water, i removed my shoes, socks and gloves before sitting in the tub. I could feel my body relaxing. Before I could get completely comfortable, the doorbell rings.
Loudly growning, i stood up and wrapped a towel around my waist to cover my lower body.
I started to walk down the stairs by the time the person on the other side decided to ring the doorbell once more.
"Im coming!" I shout, reaching the bottom of the stairs and reaching the hall before finally opening the door.
Before i could protest, my house was suddenly filled with half of my friends. Tails must have seen my confusion because he walked towards me and smiled.
"Hi, Sonic! Is everything okay?" His blue eyes sparkled everytime he spoke.
I looked around," yeah im fine but why are all of you guys here?"
Chuckling, he spoke once more," The sleepover, remember? We planned it a couple of weeks ago!"
Shit. I forgot about that.
Giving a quick smirk, i looked around again looking at everyone settling in my living room before going upstairs, draining the water in my tub and starting a proper shower.
After a few hours, my friends and i decided to play truth or dare.
If this is like the movies, this isn't going to end well, heh.
Amy obviously went first, being the one who suggested the game. She chose on Blaze.
"Okay, Blaze," She gave off a menacing look,"Who is your crush?"
That was an obvious question with an obvious answer.
Blaze sat proper, her pajamas freshly ironed,"Amy, I already told you the answer to that question. But for the sake of the game.. i suppose i could say it again.."
She took a deep breath before continuing once again,"Silver." She was blunt but the crush she had on her best friend was noticeable to anyone who knew them and what they went through.
The girls in the room giggled, while the boys either winked at Silver or patted him on the back.
This game is going to last us all night.. its barely 7pm..
The doorbell rang, stopping the game momentarily. Tails stood up and walked over to answer the door. The rest of the group turned from what they were doing to look in the direction of the door. Faint voices were heard and before we knew it, Rouge appeared from the other side of the hallway and approached us.
"Fashionably late as always," Amy smile and gave her friend a hug.
Rouge smirked,"I even brought a guest. Well, I basically dragged him here," She whispered the last part and gave us a wink.
Another person entered the room, i looked up to see who it was. My heart stopped.
Shadow? He actually came? Why would he come here?
My head spun with questions i didn't know the answers to. Rouge seemed to notice everyone's awkward stares and answered a question everyone had on their mind.
"Shadow needs to get out more. He needs some vitamin D from the sun," she smirked.
My group of friends laughed, it wasn't that funny but maybe im just in a.. not so good mood.. eh heh.
Amy filled them in on the game we were playing as they st down. Shadow, of course, didn't look my way. God, why did he come here?
Hours went on as we played game after game until it was almost 4 in the morning. The only ones awake were Rouge, Shadow, and I.
"Wait, so your club might be shutting down? Because of the water heater?" I asked surprised. Club Rouge had been open for quiet some years now. The late night club being an open bar with music was one of the more popular places to hang out at.
The ivory bat nodded,"mhm." If she was upset about her club closing, she didn't show it.
"Well, you two have fun, im going to bed," Rouge winked and left my room. Most of my friends either brought their own air matteress, slept on the pull out bed, or in the guest room. The three of us had migrated to my room to make sure we wouldn't wake anyone up.
I had almost completely forgotten that Shadow was in the room. He was sitting on my bed, reading one of the books i owned. Im sure he didn't like them, they were fictional and by the look on his face, he was displeased.
I closed my room door and sat at my desk chair, glancing at the ebony hedgehog sitting on my desk.
"Shadow, I-"
"Dont speak," He looked at me, cutting me off mid sentence. He motioned for me to come over to him, silently I obliged. I brought my chair up next to where he was sitting.
Before i knew what was happening, we were kissing. He had ignored me all night when i tried to talk to him and now we're here. In my room. Making out. I could feel my cheeks start to warm up, so i knew i was blushing. We were kissing for what seemed like forever before he pulled away and said to lock the door. I did as he told and when I walked back to the bed, he pulled me on his lap. My legs were at his sides and I was sitting on his lap. Now I definitely knew I was blushing. My body felt hot and tense. I could feel my stomach tightening up. I am not ready for sex. I mean.. I can do other things.. just.. not sex. I know my limits and I know when i can't go through with something.
"Shadow.." He looked up at me, am emotion i didn't recognize filled his eyes.
"Im not ready.. to go all the way just yet."
"Faker, were not even boyfriends. I would not go 'all the way' with someone i was not in a relationship with." His hands caressed the base of my tail.
I gave a bashful smile, he's amazing,"Then what are we doing?"
Shadow gave me a light kiss on my neck," we're fooling around."
As the night went on we kissed each other, held each other close, and we even slept next to each other. Which was probably the biggest mistake we made that night.
Before either of us could react, the bedroom door swung open," Sonic! I-" Amy saw us. In bed. Together.
Oh no..
I swear Amy stood there for a long time before she suddenly screeched and started to say random, obnoxious things about Shadow and I being in a bed together.
Before either of us could quiet her down, the rest of the gang was already running up the stairs.
"Amy what's wrong?" I could see Silver placing his hand on her shoulder, glancing up at me, looking back at Amy, then turning his head so fast to look back at us.
Oh god oh god. They all know. They all know Shadow and I have feelings for each other. How am I-
"Faker merrily let me use his bedroom to get away from all of you," Shadow stood up, grabbed his shoes and spoke again. "If you even consider anything else was going on I will personally break your legs."
Without another word, Shadow pushed through the small gang of friends and off to who knows where.
The rest of the morning was quiet. Tails, Cream,and Amy were watching tv while Silver, Blaze, and I were sitting in the kitchen talking about Blaze's palace in her dimension and Silver's adventure's throughout multiple dimensions and time warps.
After everyone had left, I could feel the anxiety of everyone questioning me start to die down. This isn't Romeo and Juliet. Is it too hard of a concept for my friends to understand I like - no, love Shadow? I could feel my heart pumping once again, this time not from anxiety. I love Shadow the hedgehog.. It beat faster. I didn't understand when these feelings started developing. Maybe it was all those races and battles and sparings that we did. Maybe it developed over time and not all at once? Or maybe it only recently started to develop enough for me to realize that this was happening?
Well, whenever it started to develope doesn't matter anymore. What matters is that I'm true to my feelings and come clean to my friends and parents. Maybe I could do it all at once? Maybe plan a little get-together and just.. rip the bandaid off. Yeah. That's what I'll do.
That means I have to get in contact with my siblings again. Who knows where they are..
I snapped my fingers, suddenly realizing,"my mom knows!"
Going upstairs, I turned on the music playlist on my phone, blasting it loud enough the neighbors would complain if I had any and speed cleaned my house, not missing a spot. My house was pretty decently sized. Not too big and not too small, kinda perfect for one person to live in.
Or two...
Soon after I cleaned my house, I went out for a run, my never ending energy making me anxious, like I have to do something before daylight ends. Maybe once all this dies down and I come clean to them my anxiety will calm down. I don't know. I just want to be accepted for who I am and who I date. I want to be able to show off whoever I'm dating and not have anyone judge me. But society is a screwed up place.
Once I got back from my run, showered and was comfortably under my covers, the doorbell rang. Why is someone always at the door when I'm relaxing?
To my surprise, Shadow was on the other side.
"May I come in?" His deep, velvet voice always runs a shiver down my spine at how smooth it sounds.
Stepping aside, I answer him," yeah of course. My house is your house."
Maybe that sounded too forward...
"So Shadow, I was thinking.. about coming clean to my family and friends, y'know, about us?" I closed the door and turn to face the black hedgehog in my living room. "Because.. I kinda want to be accepted for who I am and who we are together.."
He turns his head towards me and chuckles,"Do you always care this much about what everyone thinks? Would you have done this if you were bringing home a girl?" Stepping forward, he was only a couple inches taller then I was. "The only reason I lied to your friends this morning was because you seemed like you were not ready. And I understood that."
"Well, yeah but-"
"But what I don't understand is why you feel the need to announce me to your friends and family like I am a new puppy," Shadow kissed my forehead before going to my couch and sitting down. "But this is your decision and I respect that. If this is how you want to do things, then I am in full support."
"Shadow... you're so understanding. Thank you so much," I kissed him gently on the lips, showing my appreciation.
He never smiled, but I could tell he was genuinely happy to be with me. We went up to my room and layed on my bed, snuggling while watching tv. I fell asleep soon after, happily snuggled up to someone who I loved and who I knew loved me back.