Trial and Error
When your heart struggles to grasp the one you love. When you're left to pick up the broken pieces of your heart. When friendships falter, who will be left standing. Remus Lupin and Sirius Black have known each for eternity, but what happens when Sirius starts to make new friendships, leaving the old ones behind. A tale of heartache, lust, hunger, bittersweetness and pain. RemusXSirius
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Laughter filled their heavy hearts as they lay clutching their sides in the grass. "How about this one, " the taller boy sat up and cleared his throat. "How many Animagi does it take to light up a wand?" The shorter boy shrugged, snickering through his fingers. "Two dozen, because only one of them is actually registered." Both boys were sent into another fit of giggles as they rolled around in the grass. The two boys relaxed and breathed a sigh as their laughter slowly ceased.
"Okay, enough jokes, Padfoot. It's getting late," Remus said glancing up at the clouds which were slowly turning pink. Sirius whined, giving his best friend that all too knowledgeable puppy pout. Remus rolled his eyes and shook his head at the feeble attempt. "Sir, your mum is probably throwing a fit by now." It was Sirius' turn to roll his eyes, "That old hag?" A small gasp escaped from Remus' lips, but Sirius pretended not to notice. "I doubt she even knows I exist, let alone left the house for a few hours."
Remus tutted and shook his head as he picked himself up and brushed the dirt from his torn jeans. He offered his hand to the taller boy, which he gradually took and hoisted him up. Mimicking Remus he brushed the dirt from his shabby clothes and gave a stretch.
"Were those the clothes you were wearing earlier?" Remus remarked as they started descending the hill. Sirius gave a half-caring shrug, "I don't wear the rubbish clothes my mum gives me. Something about looking presentable." He glanced down at the two sizes to big t-shirt and pair of grungy, dark, run down jeans. "I think these suit me just fine. Got them off the muggle rack for next to nothing!" He beamed defiantly.
Sirius' house could be seen just over the next hillside and Remus gradually slowed his pace. "I guess this is where I get off," he altogether stopped walking and shoved his hands into the dirty pockets of his jacket. Sirius gave a half nod and watched Remus kick the ground awkwardly. The darker haired boy reached over and pulled the smaller framed boy into arms. Immediately Remus' arms shot up to wrap around Sirius as he pressed his face into the boy's chest.
Holding him close, Sirius leaned down close to the boy's ear, "I'm really going to miss you Rem." Remus nodded, still holding tight to the boy. Sirius let out a hallow laugh as the grip around his waist tightened. Kissing the boys sandy hair he spoke again, "It's only a few days till we begin school again. Mum will have me under house arrest until then, but I'm home free once I hit that station." He gave Remus a little nudge and was gifted with a weak smile.
Reluctantly Remus let go of the boy and stepped back. "Yeah, I'll be seeing you Sir." He waved until he could no longer see the top of the boy's messy black hair, in which he gradually lowered his arms and shoved his hands back into his pockets.
Making a left he slowly made his way down the steep hill side and into the streets. He glanced once more up at the darkening clouds. Rushing to get home before rain threatened to fall he picked up his pace.
He pushed open the front door, clothes dripping, and called out. "Mum? Dad? I'm home!" He shrugged off the worn jacket and hung it up the coat hanger. "Hello? Is anyone home?" Hiking up his dripping pants he quickly slipped into the bedroom and changed before heading out into the kitchen. "What do you guys want for dinner tonight?" He called out again.
Poking his head of the door frame of the kitchen he glanced around and sighed a breath of relief. "There you guys are," he made his way towards the two photographs placed upon a mantle. Striking a match he lit the candles. "I was getting worried mum and dad," the pictures merely grinned up at him, oblivious to the surroundings.
"I've got spaghetti sauce in the microwave if you guys are hungry," he turned from the pictures and headed back into the kitchen to check on dinner. He dumped a full package of noodles into a boiling pot on the stove. Setting the table for three, he placed the food onto each plate. He glanced around at the empty table, "Well, if you guys aren't hungry," he said, a little put off.
Remus finished up his meal and cleared the rest of the dishes. Settling down into the living room he glanced once more at the pictures. "You guys are awfully quiet tonight." The pictures merely smiled up at him, unblinking. Remus shook his head and blew the candles out before retreating to his bedroom.
Sirius is right, he thought to himself, in a few more days we'll be at Hogwarts and I'll see him soon. Remus didn't want to admit to himself, let alone Sirius, how terrified he was to be starting school for the first time.
He remembered the night he received his letter. His hands trembled as he clutched the sealed letter in his hand. The owl beside him crowed and nipped at his hand, expecting a treat. Remus had gotten over the shock after a few days and had begged Sirius to take him to buy the essential supplies he'd needed.
And so, Remus found himself sitting on his bed, reading his letter over and over. The parchment was worn from too much handling, the words faded. But Remus knew it all by heart. He could recite the letter with his eyes closed, hands tired behind his back, in his sleep. It didn't take Remus long to fall asleep, dreaming of the day he'd step onto Platform nine and three-quarters. Dreaming of the day he'd finally be a part of something.
-&-
He struggled to pull his suitcase along. Mentally he went through the list inside his head: Wand, Robe, Cauldron, Books, Owl. It was all there, right exactly where he'd placed it two weeks before. He had packed, re packed, and then packed it all again. He was determined to be prepared, to fit in.
"Remus!" He whirled around and couldn't help but mimic the curly haired boys grin. "Sirius, where have you been! I was looking for you." Suddenly he was pulled tightly against the boys lean body. Sirius leaned down close and whispered into his ear.
"I found us a spot on the train. Come on." He snatched up Remus' bag and trudged off. Remus let go of the breath he'd been holding in as a soft flush graced his cheeks. "Sirius, wait up!"
He filed in after Sirius into the compartment and slowly sat down on the seat across from him. Sirius stretched, sliding his arms across the back of the seat and stared at Remus, cocking his head slightly.
"This is it." Remus nodded, smiling softly. "You're not nervous?" He was amazed at how calm Sirius could be. Sirius gave a half shrug and glanced up as two more boys stumbled into the compartment.
"I hope you don't mind mate," the bloke said, slipping down beside Sirius. The other boy followed suit. A short, pudgy boy dug through his luggage and pulled out a chocolate bar. The boy had yellow-blond hair and his fat fingers clutched the messy bar. The other boy, sitting to Sirius' right, was the same height as him. He had unruly black hair which stuck up in every direction. He had dark glasses and a huge grin was plastered over his face.
He stared between Remus and Sirius before sliding his hand out. "I'm James Potter, that lump over there is Peter Pettigrew." Sirius took the boys hand, shaking it with a strong grip and grinned. "I'm Sirius Black and this is Remus Lupin." Remus smiled shyly while James eyes widened. "The Sirius Black?"
Sirius blinked at the boy a couple of times before raising his eyebrow and smirking. "So you've heard of me?" The raven haired boy laughed lucidly. "Who hasn't heard about you." The two boys spent the rest of the train ride discussing animatedly between themselves, the one boy they called Peter clinging onto every word.
Remus had tried to keep up with the discussions but every time he'd grasped onto something, the subject would change and he found himself lost again. He finally gave up and ignored the boys, pulling out a book and blocking out their chatter.
The sun had set before the train pulled into the station. The lights inside the castle glowed, illuminating the place. It looked inviting, warm, and Remus couldn't wait to be a part of that. The learning, the love, the passion. He glanced around, noticing the compartment was empty.
Grabbing his trunk he followed the other first years off the train and listened to the booming voice. "First years this way! First years over here!" Remus stared up at the giant man, his eyes wide, burning with curiosity. Sirius Black was no where in sight as Remus clambered into the rocky boat. His eyes searched frantically but his search came up short.
Sighing, Remus figured he'd find him inside. The boat sprung to life and he found himself floating closer towards the glowing castle. His heart began to beat fast; What if he didn't fit in? What if his letter had been meant for someone else and he wasn't suppose to be there? What if they found out his secret?
Remus shook his head, trying to rid his mind of silly thoughts. Of course he'd fit in. No one would ever find out his secret. He trusted Sirius not to tell anyone, in fact, he trusted Sirius with his very life. He filed in behind the other first years and stopped, pushing his way through the crowd to stand beside Sirius. He felt Sirius' arm snake around his waist, a smile gracing his face.
A tall, older women surveyed the students behind her spectacles, her lips were a thin, tight smile. "Welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, I am Professor Mcgonagall.
"In a moment, you will follow me through that door," she gestured to the large brass door behind her, "and you will sorted into the appropriate house. Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin.
"When your name is called, step up to the stool. When your house is decided, please go and sit with your house. Are there any questions?" Dozens of curious eyes stared up at the woman but no one spoke.
"Very well then, follow me." She led the students through the doors; all eyes were on them, the excitement in the room was buzzing and the older students chatted eagerly, making guesses who would be placed in what house. Professor Mcgonagall stopped and faced the first years. She pulled a long, thin parchment from beneath her robes, straightened her glasses and began to read. "Ethys Argty." He scrambled up to the stool. The room was silent for a few moments before, "HUFFLEPUFF!" A group in the middle cheered as Ethys went to join them.
The students began to dwindle, Marty Batterson had been sorted into Slytherin; Alice Atis into Ravenclaw; Lionel Bittle, Kyre Bert, and Tyran Banty into Gryffindor.
"Sirius Black." Someone behind him gave him a nudge. "No doubt Slytherin." Sirius snorted softly and made his way up to the stool. He could hear the hat talking quietly and Sirius just shook his head. Suddenly the hat sprung to life, "GRYFFINDOR!" The entire Gryffindor table erupted in applause and shouts. His grin was wide as he sat down, relishing in the pats on the back and the ruffle of his hair. He spun around, eyes fixed on Lupin.
"Remus Lupin." Remus let out a soft squeak as he slipped onto the stool. The hat was silent for a moment. A thirst for knowledge. A hunger to learn. "RAVENCLAW!" The Ravenclaws were ecstatic but all Remus could hear was his heart hit the floor. Ravenclaw? That wasn't the house Sirius was in.
The dark haired boy looked just as puzzled as he watched as Remus timidly walked towards his table. Remus watched with envy as both Peter Pettigrew and James Potter were sorted into Gryffindor and joined Sirius at his side. Why wasn't he sorted there? Was he not good enough? Remus tried to listen to what his house mates were saying, but Remus' head swam with questions.
It was going to be a long night.