Hehehe, hello again. Well I'm sorry to say that VOL will be taking a short break. In the meantime please enjoy our latest mini-series. Please see the second update of "Every 28 Days" for more details about this story. Basically the title explains it all. It's April Fool's Day and we just weren't satisfied with one little prank. Oh no. :D I know the beginning is a little. . .poorly written, but please bear with us! The second chapter will be posted tomorrow and I guarantee it's 10 times funnier! (Although I do believe chapter 12 is going to be my favorite). Please enjoy everyone! And as always we would appreciate only reviews from people who enjoy the story, we're not really trying to write this so please no critiques or complaints about the character actions, thanks!
All characters are (c) Stephenie Meyer, we just wreach havok in their lives.
Chapter 1: Edward vs. Bella
EPOV
April 14, 2009
I never, in all my years, thought that one little joke, something so small and innocent could lead to such total disaster. Now, as I sifted through a mountain of white, a horrid squeaking noise assaulting my ears, I am unsure as to whether or not I regret my actions. On one hand, this one little act launched us into the worst conflict my family had seen in a long, long time. On the other hand, it launched us into the most fun we've had in a long, long time. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's go back to that first day.
March 31, 2009
"Hey Edward, you want first dibs on anything before I get to work?" I looked up to see Emmett standing in my doorway with a big box that said 'April Fools Day Pranks' on the side in Emmett's messy handwriting.
"Emmett, isn't this an obvious breach of the pact? I know you always break it but usually you're more subtle than this."
"Oh Edward, these pranks aren't for any of you guys. I'm stocking up now so that tomorrow I can scare every single student and teacher in the school! I've got big plans, dude, big plans!" I rolled my eyes. "Come on, Edward, aren't you going to prank Bella at all?"
"Of course not," I replied. "Why would I?"
"Well it's the perfect excuse to get a little revenge! Don't tell me you've forgotten about all the crazy things she's done to you. Don't you remember when she made you eat all that food? This would be the perfect chance to get some guilt-free revenge. And don't worry; it doesn't have to be anything big."
I thought it over for a minute. "What do you have in mind?"
Emmett grinned broadly and flashed me a couple pictures in his mind. "Perfect," I said, grinning back.
BPOV
March 31, 2009
"Please can I skip school tomorrow? Please, please, please Dad!" I was standing in front of Charlie pleading with him with my intertwined fingers in front of my face. I tried to look as pitiful as possible, trying to get him to cave.
Unfortunately it wasn't working. "I'm sorry, Bells, but you can't stand home from school just because it's April Fools Day tomorrow. Just relax; none of your friends will prank you, right? Besides, won't your boyfriend, what's-his-face, be protecting you all day? Just use Edmund as your human shield or something."
There were so many things wrong with that sentence I didn't know where to start. "First of all, Edward is probably going to be pulling pranks on the rest of his family, so he won't be protecting me." He also couldn't be a human shield because he's not human, but I decided not to mention that. "And second, my friends are probably all going to try and prank me because I'm an easy target. I'll fall right into their traps, literally!"
Charlie laughed, "Well then all you have to do is prank them back. But kept it simple, okay? All the police officers are going to be on guard tomorrow to make sure none of the pranks get out of hand. And just in case you were thinking of pulling a prank on me, just remember who lets your boyfriend come over, who gives you allowance and who lets you drive that truck around." He gave a warning glare, just in case I tried to pull any funny business with him.
"Well maybe if I got to stay home from school I could work out a no-pranks agreement with you," I offered.
Charlie smiled, "Nice try, Bells. I'll take my chances with you tomorrow."
Rats.
April 1, 2009
I was wide awake before my alarm even went off. I was paranoid about all the possible pranks that someone could pull on me so I told Edward that he was only allowed to stay until I fell asleep. I felt bad sending him away but he seemed to understand that April Fool's Day was difficult for me. I had spent hours last night looking up all the best pranks and practical jokes, so that I could look out for them during the day.
I rolled over and looked at the clock. I decided it was a good time to get up, considering I wouldn't be doing anything but lying here if I stayed in bed. I had heard Charlie calling the school the night before and heard him ask them to call him at work if I didn't show up, so I had no choice but to go.
I sat up and did a thorough examination of my bed before I did anything else; nothing was there, no bugs, no dishes of water, nothing. I checked my slippers, too, still nothing. There wasn't anything hiding in my drawers, closet or above my door either so I figured my room was safe. I quickly got dressed, throwing on yellow shirt Alice had bought me, a navy blue sweatshirt and a pair of old jeans. I did a thorough check of the house and found no traps. And no one had done anything crazy during the night either, no crazy make-up, no giant chunk of hair missing from my head, nothing was shaved into my hair or drawn onto my skin. Maybe today wouldn't be as bad as I thought it would be.
I quickly combed my hair and ate breakfast before peeking out the front door and checking for more pranks. I carefully picked my way across the yard and through the driveway to Edward's shiny silver Volvo.
"Good morning, Bella love," Edward said, leaning down to kiss me before opening my door.
I inspected the passenger seat carefully, searching for a hidden whoopee cushion before sitting down. "Morning, Edward."
He raised an eyebrow at me. "Bella, what are you doing?"
"Checking the car for pranks. It's a very dangerous day, today. You can't be too careful. Okay, I don't think anything's wrong." Edward climbed into the car next to me and started the car.
"Bella you don't have to worry about anything. Carlisle is at work, being a civilized adult, Esme is probably cleaning the house or gardening, also like a civilized adult and none of my siblings are going to prank you."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because ever since we spent our first year together Esme has imposed a series of pacts she makes us agree to. Every Christmas she makes us promise not to fight, every April Fool's Day we can't prank each other, every Halloween we can't egg each other's cars. And this year is no different."
I sighed and leaned back against the seat. "Edward? You'll protect me from everyone at school today, right?"
"Of course, love."
I sighed again. "Good." I closed my eyes, just for a second I swear! But when I opened them again Edward was gently shaking me and calling my name. We were parked in his usual spot in school and all around us people were wandering inside the school. "Oh no, did I fall asleep?" Edward nodded and tried to hide a smile. "Darn it! Now we're going to be late." I hopped out of the car and rushed inside, stopped thought better of it, and pushed Edward inside ahead of me.
For the rest of the day I sent Edward ahead of me into every classroom and examined everything carefully. I wouldn't sit down until I checked the chair; I only used my own pencils and refused to make eye contact with anyone in the halls. I wouldn't even let Alice hug me in the morning. When she saw me and came running over I quickly used the water fountain as a ladder and climbed onto Edward's shoulders where she couldn't reach me. Alice didn't have any tricks planned for me but I did end up getting whacked in the head with one of the lights. For once everything seemed to be going well. I clung to Edward like a backpack while we were in the hallways but I don't think he minded . . . much.
EPOV
April 1, 2009
I was a little afraid at first, but this was turning out to be hilarious. Besides, Bella would forgive me . . . eventually. Alice saw it herself. The only thing I was worried about is trying not to laugh. Bella had no idea what was going on, and she surely didn't suspect me. And, for whatever reason, no one was going to tell her what was going on. Everyone gave her strange looks and a few people couldn't control their giggling but Bella assumed it was because she was acting strangely. I knew it was only a matter of time before Bella discovered what I had done to her; I just hoped she could wait until after school. Preferably from 3 to 5:30. Then I would get $20 from each of my siblings. We had all drawn bets to see when Bella would realize my little prank and get angry. Since Alice couldn't bet she had doubled up on Jasper's time.
BPOV
I was starting to get annoyed with all the strange glances and giggling. Hadn't anyone ever heard of being extra careful? But if this was the price I would pay to be prank-free all day I would gladly pay it. But I didn't understand why Edward kept snickering and trying not to smile. Oh well, he must be seeing thousands of pranks whirling through the minds of the students.
Finally it was lunch time, which meant the day was already half over, I only had three more periods after lunch, and I could probably skip out of gym class. Edward went ahead to meet his siblings and buy a lunch he wouldn't eat.
I made a quick stop to the bathroom, and that's when I saw it. Someone, And I had my suspicions, had somehow managed to paint me up in clown make-up! My cheeks had bright red circles on them; I had a yellow star over one eye and a blue circle over the other eye. Someone had slopped on some red lipstick and painted a large white oval around my lips so it looked like I was perpetually smiling. I scowled and stormed out of the bathroom.
"You are dead, Cullen!" I screamed as I barged into the cafeteria. The door banged on the wall as I entered and I knew he could hear me even though I was across the room. The entire lunchroom went quiet. I glared at him. "You are going to pay for doing this to me! I will not rest until I get you back for what you've done to me! You'll pay dearly for this, Mister!" I turned and stormed back out of the cafeteria, the door slamming against the wall a second time. For a moment all was quiet, and then all at once commotion erupted. I could hear everyone talking at once but I didn't care. I stormed off through the hallways and out the door that was always unguarded that the Cullens and I used whenever we wanted to skip class or leave early.
I stormed out into the school parking lot and realized that I didn't have a car. I thought for a moment and then decided I would just borrow my trickster's car. Since I don't have my truck I'm just going to borrow his car, I thought as loudly and clearly as I could, flashing a picture in my mind and hoping Alice would see it. I extended my hand, palm up and waited. Sure enough, a few seconds later a key and some money appeared in my hand. The money had a little folded note on top of it.
'Here's your share of the winnings, Bella, thanks for helping me and Jasper win! Love, Alice.'
I stuffed the money in my pocket and hopped into the car, I was so embarrassed I couldn't see straight. And angry tears were already welling up in my eyes. I knew I could go home and lock myself in my room but somehow solitary confinement was not what I was in the mood for. The engine roared to life and I took off down the road, knowing exactly where I was headed.