The first time was an accident. At least, that is what they told themselves but they both had known they were heading down this path for a long while, though they would never admit it. Not to their friends or families, not to each other.
Their feelings had existed for a while before they realized, but always there. He would say the first time he accepted how he felt was the moment she pinned the badge to his dress blues. The proud look on her face sealed it in for him. No one had ever believed in him like she had, nor had they ever respected him. She had fallen for him the moment he stood up for her to Chief Bogo, though it had not really become apparent to her until his first day on the force when he had teased her.
"You know you love me" he had asserted. He was right, she loved him. All she could imagine was the disaster that would follow if she told him that she loved him more than as a friend, and he imagined the same. Not because they believed their feelings were unreciprocated. It was obvious to both how the other felt. They could feel it in the looks they would exchange or in the way they would always find an excuse to touch each other. They could feel it in the small acts they would do for each other like remembering their coffee order, or the bigger gestures like Judy being there for Nick when his mother passed away. No, they knew how the other felt. Yet neither could pull the trigger.
Both were too afraid of what would happen to their friendship. Would they go the distance? If they did not work out, would their friendship be able to survive? It would be better to keep things as they were, better to have each other as friends than possibly not at all. That is what they fooled themselves into believing.
Clawhauser had invited them out drinking one night for his birthday. The ZPD had gone out drinking before at the nearby police bar, but the plan for this evening was not a beer or too at a bar. This night was meant to include liquor and clubbing. Nick and Judy had kept each other moderate; Judy because she was not a huge drinker and Nick because he wanted to make sure everyone was being safe (someone had to make sure Clawhauser did not do anything too stupid). It was not the alcohol that fueled their actions, but the overall vibe of the club. It started with a dance. Judy loved to dance but she was not used to the kind of dancing that was prevalent in the clubs of Zootopia, and Nick was more than willing to show her the ropes. They could feel it in the air, the way their bodies moved against each other. All of their resolve melted away. No more denying their feelings, they would let the lust take over. After hours of dancing together they finally noticed how far gone Clawhauser and other officers were. They called a Zuber and dropped off each person, very quickly stopping in each apartment to put the animal to bed and leave water and inuprofen for the morning.
By the time they were done it was well past three in the morning. Even today she could not say what compelled herself to say it, but Judy found herself suggesting that Nick come back to her apartment and just stay with her for the night. Nick readily agreed and climbed back into the car. On the way back they started making plans to watch a stupid movie when they got back, making each other laugh with each increasingly ridiculous suggestion. Nick's last suggestion of watching Magic Mink 2, a movie about a strip club full of minks and otters, had Judy leaning on to him to stable herself from laughing so hard. The leaning turned to nuzzling, which eventually lead to a kiss. This kiss did not break from the car to the door. Judy found herself struggling to twist her arm to grab the handle as Nick pressed her against the door. He finally grabbed the knob and twisted it, causing both of them to fall to the floor. Judy kicked the door shut and then they let themselves fall into their basic instincts, not even bothering to move up to the bed.
At the end, only three minutes were spent in each other's arms basking in the glow before the panic began to set in. Judy had been so happy, burrowing her face deep into his chest, enjoying the feeling of his fur against her cheek. Very shortly, the sprung up. She immediately started pacing around her room, though given the size of it she didn't get very far. Nick patiently listened to her nervous ramblings, only stepping in when she began to lose her breath from speaking so quickly. He pulled her against him, stroking her head and whispering soothing tones in her ear.
"Please calm down Judy, it will be okay."
"You don't know that Nick. I've wanted this for so long. But what happens if we don't work out? I can't lose my best friend."
"You'll never lose me. I decided a long time ago that I could never leave you again."
Judy pulled away to look him in the eye. "Nick, I would love to be with you, and I love being with you now. But if we were to ever break up, I don't know if I could be your friend again. Not in the same way that we have been. It would be too painful.
Nick gave her a deep, thoughtful look. "Well then we will never have to break up then. I can't go back to being just your friend Judy. I was afraid too, never making a move. But we're here now. I don't want to go backwards. You mean the absolute world to me and I love you. More than anything else in this world, I love you. We can make this work, I promise you that."
He gave her a quick kiss on the forehead and she could not help smiling at his touch. Her fear was still there, but she let his words and kiss ease it away until it was lying dormant deep inside of her.
"People will freak out if they ever find out about us," Judy said. "We'll have to keep it quiet for now. Until we can work out what we are doing."
"I understand. I don't want you to be my dirty little secret, but it might be nice to keep it small for now. Just between the two of us, you kn-"
"WELL, NOT JUST THE TWO OF YOU! NOW CAN YOU KEEP IT DOWN!"
Judy felt the blood leave every part of her body and focus into her cheeks as she heard her neighbor, Pronk. She wanted to start crying from the embarrassment and in a small voice repeated "No, dear god no."
"COME ON, PRONK! WE SHOULD BE HAPPY FOR HER AND HER FOX! JUST LET THEM HAVE THEIR PEACE."
"THEY CAN DO WHATEVER THEY WANT! I JUST DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!"
"HEY, AT LEAST WE'RE HEARING SOMETHING THIS TIME. NOT LIKE WITH THAT JACK GUY SHE HAD AROUND FOR A WHILE. WE NEVER HEARD ANYTHING WITH HIM. THE FOX MUST BE A GOD, DID YOU HEAR HER?"
Judy had never hated the two more in her three years at the apartment. They had always been loud and obnoxious, they told her as much the first time they had ever met, but she could had gotten used to their commentary on her life. But discussing her sex life (albeit mediocre) with her previous boyfriend in front of her new…well, she supposed you could call him her boyfriend. Nick did not look abashed though. In fact, he had a very smug smile on his face. It was different than the smug smile that usually graced it, this one was even more self-satisfied that usual.
While Judy was pleased that Nick was not upset at the mention of Jack, as he had never been a fan of her FBI ex-beau, she still scowled at the words coming from the apartment next door.
"You know, you guys are never quiet either and I have never mentioned it to you."
"….SO?"
Nick chuckled. He got up from the floor and moved on to the bed, patting the spot next to him. Judy quickly joined him in the bed. It was very early in the morning now and bit of light were creeping into the sky. The pair drifted off to sleep, though not for long. Nick awoke a few hours later to the feeling of Judy kissing his neck, and as she felt him stir and lean into it, she became more confidant, slowly running her hands down from his chest, to his stomach, and even further still. As desperate and rushed as their encounter their previous night had been, they took their time in the morning, reveling in the paradise they created in Judy's bed.
They could have sworn that when they were done they heard some tittering from just beyond the wall next to them, with Pronk clearly grumbling that he would tell all the gossip news outlets about their relationship if they could not keep it quiet followed shortly by Bucky hushing his husband. Feeling bad, Judy bought some cookies and brought them over as a peace offering. While there, she bonded with the two, getting them to promise to be silent about everything they heard between her and Nick. People would not like support a prey/predator couple, and Judy wanted to build a strong relationship with her fox before announcing it to the world.
The oryx and kudu kept their word, but that did not stop them from being annoyed at the two next door to them. Even Bucky ceased to beg Pronk to give Judy a break. He could not stand all the noise either.
Judy and Nick no longer cared. After just a month together, they stopped being as careful. The fear of the reaction they would get if they ever made their relationship public still existed. Sometimes Judy would become paralyzed just walking down the street next to him, not even holding hands, if she thought that someone gave her the wrong look, terrified by the idea being attacked. Together in bed, they could forget those fears and just lose themselves in each other. If one ever became stressed for any reason, they could count on the other to sooth them. It was not always by sex, they often could sooth just by comforting words or distracting with a different topic, but it was the most fun way to comfort for both.
Soon, they could not even keep it contained to her bed, becoming reckless. Judy never would have believed it before, putting her career at risk for any reason. But she could hardly control herself. She and Nick began to find stolen moments at the precinct. It started small with quick kisses when the office was empty or if they could duck behind one of their desks. It evolved to teasing touches during stoplights while in the cruiser. Before they knew it, they were sneaking into closets after meetings, promising that they would be quiet and quick. They never were.
It did not last long before they were caught, and, unfortunately, the worst possible person was the one to find them. Clawhauser immediately started squealing as the two partners scrambled to cover themselves. Their pleas for silence were ignored as Clawhauser raced to spread the news as far as he possibly could. He had never had a more retweeted post before, and the picture he posted on Instaram of the two kissing was shared by thousands. For weeks neither fox nor bunny could go anywhere before being mobbed by reporters. At first, Nick tried his sly approach to interviews, but this did not work with gossip columnists.
But that was not the worst. The worst was the cold reception they received when walking into Chief Bogo's office. He did not say much. He told them while there was no written rule that partners could not form romantic attachments, it was certainly frowned upon and he did not support his officers doing it at all. While becoming romantically involved was not a fire-able offence, fornicating at ZPD headquarters certainly was. Judy could feel her mouth go dry at the last comment.
"But you can keep your jobs for now," Bogo assured the two. "Should it ever happen again, I can promise you will not have the chance to be fired because I would have already killed the both of you, starting with you, Wilde. Still, there will be consequences: Both of you will be put on leave effective immediately for two weeks. When you return, it will be decided if you can stay partners or if you will be reassigned.
"Now, leave the room Wilde. I will speak to Hopps alone."
Nick opened his mouth like he was going to protest, but Judy shot him a pleading look. He slinked out of the chair and walked towards the door, giving one last look to Judy, his nervousness plain on his face.
Bogo began to speak as soon as they heard the soft click of the door's lock.
"I am very disappointed in you Hopps, and I'm astounded that you would do this. You love this job more than anything, you're the best officer I have. Despite my first interactions with you, I do not dislike you. I trust you. Your ambition used to frustrate me, before I accepted that it was just who you were, and that it made you a better officer. That is was a strength for you, not a hinderance. Nick does not have the same ambition that you do, but somehow, he even made you better. I will never say that he is as competent as you are though. He is good, but he is not as good as you. I would hate to lose the both of you, especially with how hard you worked to get here. I'm giving you another chance here. Don't make me regret giving you this chance. And don't make a choice that you might regret."
Judy knew when she was being dismissed, leaving quickly and silently. Nick was waiting just on the other side of the door for her, asking her if she was okay and what was said. Judy simply shook her head and told him later. After crawling through hordes of people outside the precinct, from the reporters to protestors holding signs declaring that their union was unnatural to supporters screaming at them that they were "relationship goals", Nick and Judy crawled into her car, driving in complete and awkward silence.
It did not take long for Judy to break down when they finally got back to her apartment. She recounted everything Bogo had said to her. Nick looked downtrodden at the news that Bogo did not think he was as cut out to be an officer as Judy was, but was secretly happy to hear that the chief was looking out for Judy, only trying to protect her. It inspired him to say what he thought was the right choice.
"Maybe we should end this Judy. I don't want to be the reason for you losing your career."
"Please don't do that Nick. That's not what I want."
"Just hear me out Judy. Bogo is right, you can't risk your career for this, don't do something you might regret."
Judy quickly moved close to him, reaching for him. She could not help but feel hurt when he flinched away from her touch.
"I would regret losing you more than I would regret losing anything else. Just trust me. You heard Bogo, he said that it is not against any policy for us to be together. We just need to have more restraint."
Nick still looked tense, but his shoulders had eased some. They became even more relaxed ask he finally let Judy pull him into her embrace.
"Let me show you that everything will be okay."
And so they followed the same routine they always did. The heated kissing giving way to more. This is where they could imagine everything was perfect. It truly was paradise. The push and pull. They melded together, working with each other for a perfect union, yet fighting each other for control. A warzone. Where everything could be forgotten. No fears, no tears. Just the feeling of each other. The feeling of everything being right. They cuddled up once again, whispering sweet words. Impulsively, though she had been thinking to ask it since the first "accidental" night, she asked Nick to move in with her. There was no point in not sharing a space, they were always together anyways. Before he could even answer, Bucky pipped up from just the other side of the way.
"Dear Christ, have mercy on our ears."