This idea came to me when i saw that in other fanfics Holly drinks this potion and she turns into a human. Well, what if she didn't want to be turned into a human, but it worked with some malfuctions?

Disclaimer: Duh, I don't own Artemis Fowl...If I did...Muhahahaha

Mudman Shoes, Fairy Wings

Chapter One

Damn Centaur

Foaly clopped grumpily down to the Commander's office and snorted at the plaque on the door that read 'Commander's Office'. As if all the fairies in the building didn't know where Root's office was, even if they were mortally scared of him, save for his best officers. He knocked on the door.

"Foaly! " Root's voice barked from inside. "It had better be you and that finished Elixir! "

The Elixir was a project assigned to Foaly by the Council. It was supposed to make chasing rogue faries above ground easier for the LEP by blending the officers. In other words, morph them into humans.

Foaly stepped inside. "Yeah, good morning to you too." He noticed the fungus cigar Root was holding. " You know, you should really stop smoking, especially this early in the morning."

"Well?" Demanded the Commander, ignoring the centaur. He didn't see Foaly holding any sort of bottle and didn't like it. "Is it ready?"

Foaly observed his hooves carefully. "Eh, there was a flaw in the Elixir."

Root's face started to turn red and Foaly winced. He hastily continued before his face was covered in spit.

"You see, I haven't figured out that last ingredient yet. If an elf or pixie were to drink it, he or she would turn into a half mudman."

"Half mudman?"

"It's the ears, sir. The ears and the nose that don't turn into those of a human."

Root chewed on the end of his fungus cigar for two whole minutes before answering.

"How much?" He snapped.

"Depends." Answered Foaly.

Root exploded. "FOALY! THAT WAS DUE IN TODAY! WHAT DEPENDS IS WHETHER OR NOT YOU WANT TO BE FIRED!"

Grub Kelp, who happened to be walking past the door at that moment, winced and covered his ears. There would be another complaint from him, no doubt. Something about damage to his ears.

"But Commander!" The centaur protested. " My vacation starts tommorow! This really isn't my fault."

Root looked really peeved now. His face was rapidly picking up a red hue. "D' AVRIT! How the hell is it not your fault? This was supposed to be planned from the start! I'm not covering up for you in front of the Council. They're expecting it today Foaly. Today!"

Foaly flicked his tail angrily. "Sometimes plans don't translate smoothly from paper to real life! I'm sure the Council will understand!"

"They had better, for your sake."

"Besides ," Foaly added. "It's not as if I'm going on the other side of the world for my vacation. I'll be in Atlantis if you need anything. I'm taking the elixir with me so I can work on it, I'll leave a spare bottle just in case you'll need it for some reason."

"Why don't you just work on it from here?" Root asked. "Same thing isn't it?"

Foaly smirked. "Because with you around, it isn't a vacation."

"Oh hardy har har." Root said sarcastically." You're hilarious. Let's see you crack jokes while you're outta work."

"Let's see you laugh while the mudmen boss you around." retorted Foaly.

"I have my limit you know." An old threat.

"Sure. Oh, by the way, Coporal Lili Frond has some papers for you to sign. She says they're urgent."

Root noticed Foaly didn't have any papers with him. "Well? Where are they?"

"Lili has them."

"Isn't she supposed to come to me if she wants me to sign them?" Snapped Root.

Foaly clopped toward the door and opened it.

"I told her you'd prefer the excersise." Foaly grinned. "Happy walking."

He shut the door behind him, leaving Commander Root to mutter "Damn centaur."

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