(A/N: Hey, Y'ALL!!! This is my first Artie fic...drabble-ish thingy...SONGFIC! Right. Got it…hee hee…read and review, tell me whatcha think! Actually, it's one of the best I've ever written /in my humble opinion, lol/ and I like it. So don't flame. Though what reason you might have to I have no idea. Oh, and if you read it with the song on repeat, repeat, repeat, playing in your ears as you read it /lol, that was repetitive/ then it's much better. MUCH. It makes more sense, I think. shrug Don't have to…now READ!!!)
Disclaimer: No, I don't own Artemis Fowl and Co., and I don't have Eoin Colfer's owning writing skills. Shoot me. NO, NO, HE HE, JUST JOKING!!!
Dedicated to: (like you'll even read this) Bria, that she may finally one day find the soul mate she was meant to be with all along, and will realize it.
Blackbird Singing in the Night
By ckontowderdon32
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
She felt so empty. So lacking of life, so…lifeless…like there was something more that she hadn't yet tried or done…a great hollowness, an empty abyss in a world of night…where were her wings to lift her off the ground and save her from…herself? Oh yes…she remembered now…he broke them.
All your life
You were only waiting
For this moment to arise
She had been with him for so long, him laughing and laughing and smiling and smiling, and even turning into a better person slowly but surely, bit by bit—but then he had to turn his back on her, just stare right through her with those piercing blue eyes of his. And he had been the only one who could ever see her. How was she supposed to lift off of the ground now? Nothing was normal, nothing was…nothing was right…nobody else was there to take his place…nobody would ever be able to…
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
Sometimes she'd lie in the dark, in her bed…just laying there, staring at the ceiling. Thinking about him, thinking about her, thinking about love. And how different they were, but how similar at the same time. Wasn't it called…oh, what was the word…complementing each other! Yes, that was right, because she remembered that it was almost complimenting, which he had rarely done to her. He had said he hated her…those were his last words to her…his eyes boring holes into her heart…
Darkness smothered her sometimes, and she thought she was blind. She'd be asleep before she realized her eyes were shutting, and she'd be covered in black. Where had her vision gone, the ability to see everything like it was? Or was it? It is, she decided. But what she meant meant nothing. That was all right, because she meant nothing to him. Why shouldn't she take her vengeance out on something, even if it was just words? It was something, and something wasn't just nothing…although nothing is and was and will always be something…
But oh, how she wished to have her old life back, the one with her eyes and her wings…
All your life
You were only waiting
For this moment to be free
She was trapped, and he was laughing at her. She'd dream about this. She'd be in a cage with iron bars, and the metal trap would be shrinking and so would she. He would be in front of her, completely free, holding her heart. But it wasn't a real heart, it couldn't be, because it was in the shape of a heart.
But she knew it was hers.
And he'd be laughing at her cruelly, just laughing and laughing, eyes stabbing her, stabbing her heart that he was holding. And as she was shrinking, shrinking, he'd be laughing, laughing…and eventually, he'd hold out her heart and close his hand, crushing the heart and powder would fall, fall, fall slowly into the darkness…into the black…why was she trapped like this? Or was it just a dream, a painful dream?
Blackbird fly
Blackbird fly
Into the light of a dark, black night
Nothing could lift her up now. She was miserable and with that realization almost came a kind of relief from knowing that she was sane, or at least for now, because she knew what was wrong with her. Him—that was wrongness itself, that he wasn't next to her and explaining things and playing the piano and researching and smiling and maybe even holding her hand, like he did that once, that once upon a time.
But she couldn't fix it, how could she? It wasn't her, it was him…she was sure…fairly certain…kind of positive…not sure at all, because it all tumbled and jumbled together in her head, eventually fading into the blackness she herself had succumbed to, not so long ago…
Blackbird fly
Blackbird fly
Into the light of a dark, black night
Perhaps she could find him in the darkness and meet him somewhere in between, where there was a line, a grey line, that wasn't something and didn't mean something, but wasn't nothing and didn't mean nothing. A grey line that wasn't black and wasn't white, but compromised. She didn't like to compromise, she liked to follow things to the end her way, but that wasn't going to work because here she was, waiting in the middle, in the middle of the darkness and the light, and where was he?
Wasn't he as miserable as she was?
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting
For this moment to arise
You were only waiting
For this moment to arise
You were only waiting
For this moment to arise
"Come back to me," she whispered, hating this vulnerable, delicate feeling that could be torn apart at any second, and he was tearing it with joy. It was unraveling right now, and would never fix itself…she would wait for eternity, for him to never come back, and she was all right with that in a sad, pathetic way, because she could go on with life, even though it was a hardly a life now…thanks to him…a black, dark life full of stars and night and wings and sight and nothing and something and never him…stars…
There was no answer, and the silence destroyed the small hope she had held onto. She saw it dissolve like a tablet in water, she saw it in her mind, and she was sad. She had walked and walked to reach this place of both worlds, both hearts, both minds, walked and walked to reach the tree of the beginning and the end and where soul and heart meets body but…there was no answer…
"I loved you," she told the wind, which had a life and a love that loved it back and was running off to somewhere, perhaps to its love, rustling through her hair as it ran past her face, "I loved you."
Repeating because she felt like it, liked the words on her tongue and coming out of her mouth to mean something, which might be nothing. And nothing else mattered, nothing at all, because nothing was and is and always will be something.
She closed her eyes. Becoming the darkness, dissolving herself into nothing which was something which was nothing…feeling not unlike that one time when she had floated on that lake…just naked, with nothing on and not needing anything, just laying it all out, laying it all on the table like it was in her mind, with the water around her and holding her up, relaxing her…feeling wings pick her up and hold her to the stars and their glorious light…
"I loved you," she repeated. Something was in the darkness beside her, but her eyes only saw black and maybe it was only nothing after all.
Arms enveloped her. "I loved you too," the wind murmured back.
The End.
(A/N: PERSONALLY, I think the end's better. Better than the beginning, that is. And that last line? PRETTY good, if I DO say so myself. :D If you didn't understand it, review:D I'm so tricky. I had "Artemis/Holly" in mind, but hey, whatever floats your boat. And makes you review. :D Oooh…more trickiness…okay, okay, I'm done. Lol. Seriously though, constructive criticism???!!!???!!!)