The Keeper of His Heart
By PiperHWyatt@aol.com


Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, except the plot. The idea belongs to ALT 168, who I give all my thanks to for allowing me to borrow it.

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March 13, 2003. 7:23am

Sometimes I wonder if I can ever go on. Sometimes life just seems like too much trouble. But then I think of her, or see her face smiling back at me from the photo in my wallet, and I know I have to keep going.

The promise of what could be is enough. For just a little while after I remember this, I have an extra spring in my step, and I am almost happy. Almost. But then the days get longer again, the nights lonelier, and the pain of missing her fills my chest like water filling my lungs. Sometimes it gets so bad that I can hardly breathe.

And again, I wonder if I can ever go on.

I noticed the date on the calendar this morning, as I made my morning cup of instant coffee. I couldn't believe that almost two years had passed. Half the time it felt like only yesterday that I was holding her in my arms, staring into her gorgeous brown eyes. But then there were times that I had to think really hard to remember the sound of her laugh, or remember the smell of her perfume, and I got scared that one day I would wake up, and not be able to remember what she looked like.

In a little over two weeks, it will be our anniversary. It would have been three years since we had found our way back to each other. Three years since I got my wings back. But that had barely lasted a year. In two months time, it would be the second anniversary of the day I clipped my wings, permanently.

Since then I had been leading a mortal life, all the way across the country from San Francisco, from her. I had moved to Boston as soon as I had become mortal. I couldn't stand the thought of living in the same city as her, and not being able to see her, so I moved as far away as I could, stupidly thinking it would somehow lessen the pain. I couldn't have been more wrong.

I checked my watch and realised I was running late, again. I downed the last of my coffee, grabbed my coat and dashed out the door, heading for the subway, and another long day at work.

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March 30, 2001. 9:39pm.

I sat at the edge of Piper's bed, carefully placing a letter inside an envelope and sealing it. This was one letter I never thought I'd have to give her, let alone write. I placed it on her pillow and stood to orb out, when she burst into the room, obviously in a rush. She stopped in her tracks when she saw me, a smile spreading across her face.

Hey you, she said, walking over and wrapping her arms around my waist. I wasn't expecting you back so soon. I just got back from the restaurant. I relished the feeling, knowing it would be the last time I could be this close to her. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her in for a kiss. I wished I could stay here with her forever, holding her like this, living in happiness. But I knew I couldn't. Piper looked at me, curiosity written all over her face. She knew something was wrong, she could feel my tension.

Leo? Are you ok?

I let her go and went to grab the envelope from where it rested against her pillow. Uhh, no, I'm not. I actually just came to leave this for you, I said, handing her the letter.

What is it? She asked, taking it from my hand and ripping it open. I stayed quiet, I couldn't bring myself to say the words. We stood in her room silently, while she read the words I had written. When Piper looked back into my eyes, I could see her heart breaking.

She asked again, her voice now barely a whisper. I don't understand. This says you're leaving. But you're coming back, aren't you? I could hear her fear, her sadness. I could see it was bubbling up inside her, and was about to spill over.

I'm so sorry Piper. I love you more than anything, but I have no choice. I have to go.

No, Leo, you can't. I won't let you. Piper said determinedly, grabbing my shirt with her fists. I pulled her close to me again, wanting so badly to protect her from this hurt, yet knowing I was the cause of it. My own emotions were getting the better of me, and my eyes filled with tears. I tried valiantly to not let them fall, but I couldn't help it. I was about to walk away from the best thing that had ever happened to me. The one person in the world I knew I couldn't live without, and here I was, about to go and try just that. I kissed the top of her head, and ran my fingers through her hair. I wanted to memorise everything about her. The feel of her hair, the way she smelled, the way she tasted. I wanted her to be the only thing that filled my senses.

She was openly sobbing into my chest now, and the tears were running freely down my own cheeks.

I don't want to leave you Piper, but I have to. I've never loved anyone more than I love you. You hold my heart. You will hold it, forever Piper. I whispered into her ear, insanely trying to give her some sort of hope to cling to, in the face of despair.

The Elders called me, and I knew I had stalled long enough. I had to go.

I tried to pry her arms from around me, but she was determined to hold on. It was the only way she knew to keep me there, even though she knew full well that I could simply orb away.

Piper, it's time. Please, we have to let go.

came her muffled reply. I finally managed to loosen her grip, and she looked into my eyes again. She seemed to be considering something, and then she said, I have to give you something. She walked over to her dresser, picking something up from where it lay. She walked back and placed it in my hand, closing my fingers around it.

You said that I hold your heart. I want you to hold mine. She pulled my head down and locked her lips over mine for the last time. I cupped her face in one hand, the other still grasping tightly to her gift. I knew I would feel that kiss for the rest of my life. We put everything we had, everything we were, everything we knew into that kiss.

Piper suddenly pulled away, ceasing all contact between us. I don't understand this at all. Why do you have to go?

It's out of my hands Piper. It's not my choice to make.

She squeezed her eyes shut, more tears spilling down her cheeks. I love you Leo. She never opened her eyes, and I orbed out for the last time. As I lingered above her, I watched her legs buckle, and she fell to the floor, her sobs taking control.

TBC