Disclaimer: The characters of Supernatural do not belong to me. The original character of Evelyn Winchester does.
A/N: So, I didn't really like the way that my story Fade Away worked out. So I rewrote it tonight, while I was supposed to be studying. Enjoy!
The conversation with John in the kitchen had been harder than Sam ever imagined. He'd known it was coming once he'd gotten over the initial shock of seeing John again. Surprisingly, John had waited to ask about Evy. They'd had a long conversation about everything the three of them had been through since John's death. Sam was grateful that he had the chance to make his father happy before breaking his heart. After leaving them alone for a few minutes, John had walked into the hallway with an arm around Mary's waist. He was smiling more than Sam had ever seen him smile before, which made the fall that was to come all the more heartbreaking.
"Alright, I've waited long enough. Where is she?"
Dean hadn't caught on right away. "She?"
"Who else would 'she' be, Dean? Well, other than your mom." John answered, grinning at Mary and sharing another kiss with her. John turned back to Sam and Dean. "Where's your sister?"
The smile faded away when John saw the pained faces of Sam and Dean. He had assumed that Evy was simply away, maybe in college, or was his one child who was living the peaceful life he wanted for them. He only hoped that she didn't live too far away.
"What happened?" John asked. "Is she alright?"
Sam took a ragged breath. It had only been a few months.
"Sam?" John asked again. "Where is she?"
Sam swallowed hard. "Dad, I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?"
"She died, Dad. A few months ago."
Sam watched the pure joy that had been on his father's face a few months ago become replaced with heartbreak. Mary felt John tense up, and could see his heart breaking all over his face. She whispered 'I'm so sorry' to him, but John didn't respond. After a few long moments, he asked,
"How'd it happen?"
There was no note of anger in John's voice, and Sam was surprised. But it was Dean who answered. "She went down fighting, Dad. She gave up her life and saved the world."
"Did she hunt?" John asked. He had never wanted to drag Evy too much into their life.
"She was stronger than all of us put together."
John nodded, and asked no other questions. He had no desire to hear the details of Evy's death. In the time he had just come from, she was living with Sam in Palo Alto, and was happy and thriving. He wished all of his children a long, peaceful, happy life, but he wanted it the most for her. He loved them all, but though he never admitted it, she held a spot in his heart that Sam and Dean could never touch. She was his joy, his precious sunshine, and the thought that she wouldn't even make it to the age of thirty cracked his already fragile heart.
Sam knew he shouldn't do it. He knew, better than anyone save Dean, how much damage messing with time could do. Sam prided himself on the fact that he always tried to think things through before he did anything. He'd been impulsive when he was younger, and it usually led to disaster. Just as he was about to shake his head and go back out with Dean, Sam made a mistake. He took his phone out of his pocket.
Staring at him through his phone wallpaper was Evy. Sam felt his heart make a painful pang in his chest, and he had to swallow hard to get himself under control. The photo was not one of Evy's favorite. He'd taken it at her tenth birthday party. She was looking slightly off camera, laughing at something someone was doing. What exactly it was, Sam didn't remember. She had a fork in her hand and cake frosting on her face. It was one of Sam's favorites because Evy had started the day upset, and by the end of the day, she was happier than he'd ever seen her before.
I hate that photo, Sammy. Please change it. Better yet, don't have it be a picture of me at all.
Sam looked up, thinking that he'd see Evy standing at his shoulder making a face at his phone. It took a few seconds for him to remember why she wasn't there, and the now familiar sadness took hold again. Sam started to walk away, back into the kitchen where he'd left John, Dean, and Mary, when it happened again.
The lights went out, replaced by the red flood lights. The room shook, enough that Sam was knocked off his feet. After a few long moments of uncertainty, Sam realized why it had happened. He had been holding the pearl in his hand when he was looking at the photo of Evy.
"Sammy?"
Sam's heart came to a sudden halt in his chest. It couldn't be true. But when he turned around, there she was. A ten-year-old Evy, standing there in her school uniform, wavy brown hair slightly frizzy. She had a skinned knee that was healing, and had dirt all over her face.
She was playing soccer, Sam thought to himself.
"Cricket?"
"What's going on?" Evy asked, then seemed to realize that this wasn't the Sammy she knew. "Who are you?"
"Cricket, it's me. I promise it is." Sam said with a smile. "I probably look a little older than you remember, right?"
Evy nodded. "You're twenty."
Sam laughed. Twenty felt like a lifetime before. "No, baby. I'm thirty-five."
"No you're not. That would make me twenty-five. I'm only ten." Evy argued.
"Do you trust me?" Sam asked.
Evy took a second to answer, but nodded.
"Good. I can't tell you how you ended up here, but it's the year 2019. It's 2003 to you, right?" Evy nodded again. "Okay. Listen. Dean and I are going to figure this out. But for now, I have a surprise for you. Will you come with me?"
"Deanie's here too?"
"Yeah. He is."
"Where is he?" Evy asked.
"Come with me."
Sam held out his hand, and a nervous Evy walked over and took it. Sam couldn't help leaning down and embracing her, kissing her and hugging her until she finally pulled away from him. Preparing himself for another surprise, he led Evy over towards the kitchen. He stood in the doorway, still holding Evy's hand. Dean was standing at the counter, talking to John and Mary as if nothing had happened. Did he not hear Evy coming back? Sam thought, but pushed it back.
"Dean."
Dean turned to Sam, smiling at whatever John and Mary were talking about. He then looked to Sam's right, and for the second time that day, Dean felt like time had stopped.
"Hi, Deanie." Evy said, letting go of Sam's hand and running to him.
Evy nearly tackled Dean, who pushed her away slightly away from him to get a better look at her. "Hey, baby girl."
"How come Sammy looks older but you don't?"
Dean snorted at Sam's indignant 'Hey!'. "Just lucky, I guess." He noticed John watching them and turned Evy around. "Look, kiddo."
Evy gasped. "Daddy?"
"Hi, little one."
Evy went to John and embraced him, then looked at Sam, Dean, and John once more. "Wow."
"What, kiddo?"
"I knew we wouldn't be apart forever." Evy said. "We're a family again." Evy noticed Mary for the first time and grew shy. "Hi."
"Hi, sweetie."
"Who are you?"
"My name's Mary." Mary said. "I'm…"
"Aren't you Sammy and Deanie's mom?"
"I am."
"But I thought you died when Sammy was little." Evy said. "If you're here, does it mean my mom is too?"
Sam tried to curb the guilt by acting quickly. He knelt down next to Evy and pushed a strand of her long hair back behind her ear.
"Bringing you here was an accident. I don't know how it happened yet, but when I find out, I'm going to have to send you back."
"How come your mom can come here but mine can't?" Evy asked.
It was what Dean had once referred to as 'the Winchester curse'. For whatever reason, him and Sam were able to come back to life, whether they wanted to or not. But everyone else they loved, including Evy, seemed destined to stay dead. Sam, not knowing what to say to Evy's question, was very grateful when Dean took over.
"Kiddo, we just don't know. But if it was up to me and Sammy, and we could do it, we'd bring your mom back to you in a heartbeat. And if we ever find a way for you to meet her, we promise we'll make it happen."
Evy considered his answer, then decided she trusted him. "Okay, Deanie."
"Okay?" Dean grinned, wondering if she remembered what he used to do when she said okay.
Evy was already giggling before Dean even made it to her. He tickled her for a few minutes, relishing the sound of her laughter, before Sam and John joined in. Only when she was practically screaming 'uncle' did they stop. Mary had the idea of making dinner, and Evy was given the job of copying down the grocery list she gave to Dean.
Evy walked out of the kitchen with Dean trailing behind her. He poked her in the side twice, making her giggle again, until Evy learned her lesson and walked beside him. She went back into the main room looking for Sam, but found something even better.
"Sam. Son, I am so sorry."
Daddy was apologizing to Sam? Evy tried not to think about the nasty fight they'd had about Sam leaving for college. For her, it was still fresh. She hadn't seen John in almost two years. She tried to call him, but he never picked up. She'd sent him two letters, both of which had come back labeled 'return to sender'. She wondered if Daddy would apologize to her, but it didn't matter. She had him with her, here, now. That was what mattered. When she saw Sam and John hugging, she walked out and wrapped one arm around each of them.
A startled John laughed. "You're gonna give me a heart attack. Where'd you come from?"
"This is what I always wanted." Evy said happily.
"What's that?" Sam asked.
"You two aren't fighting."
Sam smiled. "No, Cricket. We're not." Sam looked towards the hallway, deciding that Dean had been right. They should enjoy what they had. "Cricket, I'm going shopping with Dean. You want to go?"
Evy looked up at Sam, then took a look at John. She had just gotten her family back together, and didn't want to separate from them again. But if she had to pick one over the other, the choice was clear for her. She took John's hand and asked,
"Daddy? Can I stay with you? Please? I need to talk to you alone."
John had been wanting to spend a few minutes alone with Mary, but Evy's request took him by surprise. "Sure, little one. You can stay."
"You don't want to go with me?" Sam hadn't meant to say it out loud.
"Please, Sammy? I see you every day. I don't ever get to see Daddy."
As relieved as he was to work things out with Sam, Evy's statement reignited his feeling of guilt. He had fallen drastically short of his role as a father, especially to Evy. He didn't like to admit it to himself, but by the time she was born, he had given up on trying to be a Daddy. He was more focused on being an overprotective drill sergeant in the name of keeping them safe than a father.
"If it's okay with Daddy, it's okay with me." Sam said. "But can I have a hug first?"
When Sam had hugged Evy and was out the door, Evy suddenly changed her mind. She hated how nervous she always felt with John. John seemed to pick up on her reluctance, and pulled out a chair at one of the tables.
"How about we sit and talk?"
"Okay." Evy said quietly.
She took the chair John offered and stared at the table intently. Evy was short for her age, and her feet swung freely above the floor. John took a seat across from her and waited, but Evy didn't say anything.
"You did say you wanted to talk, right?"
"I did. I want to ask you something, but I'm afraid you'll be mad." Evy said.
John frowned. He decided to have the same talk with Evy that he'd had with Sam. "I get mad at you a lot, don't I?"
Evy, shocked at her father's admission, looked up and answered him with all the volume of a mouse. "Feels like it."
"Do I hurt your feelings a lot too?"
"Yes, sir."
"I see." John said. He hated how awkward he felt talking to her.
"Daddy, I'm sorry." Evy said, feeling slightly braver with John's acknowledgment of her feelings.
"Sorry for what?"
"Leaving with Sammy. I know that hurt you a lot, and I'm sorry."
"Little one, you have nothing to be sorry for." John answered sincerely. "I'm sorry I ever made you feel bad. I'm sorry I never really figured out how to be a Daddy to you. I wish I could figure out the right way to do it." As John talked, Evy's face scrunched into tears. "Little one, what's wrong?"
"Daddy, do you hate me?"
The question took the breath from John. "Hate you? Of course I don't hate you. Why would you ask that?"
"If you don't, why won't you talk to me?" Evy begged. "I call you all the time. I've sent you letters that you sent back. I called you on my birthday and you told Dean to tell me you weren't there."
"You knew about that?"
"I could hear you." Evy said. "I heard you talking to him. Why'd you do that?"
"Because I was mad." John answered. "I was mad at myself for pushing you away. I know that hurt you, and I'm sorry for that, little one. But I'm not mad at you for leaving. It's better for you to be with Sammy. So please don't worry about that. Okay? Promise me?"
"Promise." Evy said.
"You don't really believe me, do you?" John asked. "It's okay. Be honest with me."
"Sorry. No, I don't." Evy said. "You were yelling and being really mean when I left. You wouldn't hug me and you pushed me down. If you weren't mad at me, why'd you do all that?"
"I shouldn't have hurt you. I'm sorry I pushed you." John said. He'd regretted that so much that he'd had nightmares about it almost every night. "Do you know where I went when I left the house?"
"No, sir. Where?"
"I drove to a dead end road, pulled over, and cried the whole time."
"You cried?" Evy asked. "You missed me that much?"
"I did. I do. Every single day and night." John said. "Little one, listen to me. I know I'm rough with you a lot. I know I don't always treat you great. But please, please don't ever doubt this. No matter what's going on in our lives, good or bad, your Daddy always, always loves you. Always. You hear me?"
"I hear you, Daddy." Evy said and sniffed. "I love you too."
"I'm gonna tell you something else too. You are just like your mother."
"I am?"
"You are. You're strong, and brave, and smart, and fierce, and kind, and a thousand other things that made me fall in love with her when I did. And you are the best surprise that not only she, but anyone has ever given me."
Evy's mouth hung open. Compliments from her father were rare. To have so many of them at once made her stunned.
"You know, we've been here for a couple hours now, and there's one thing I've wanted from you since I saw you."
"What?"
"A hug. One just for me."
"I hugged you and Sammy." Evy argued.
"I want my own." John said with a smile. "That's an order."
Evy giggled. "Yes, sir!"
Whatever bizarre reason for everything that was happening to them, John, for the first time ever, was grateful for the supernatural. He held Evy and loved on her in a way that she soaked up, and neither of them wanted to let go of the moment. Evy said something that John didn't realize he even missed until he heard it again.
"Love Daddy."
"Oh, little one. Your daddy loves you too. So much."
The night came to an end a few hours later. Sam broke the news to Evy that he would have to send her back to her own time. Evy placed a hand on Sam's cheek and smiled, assuring him it would be okay. She had some final parting words for her brothers.
"Don't be sad. We'll be back together soon." Evy said. "Right?"
"Right." Sam and Dean said together.
Evy turned to Mary and asked, "Will you take care of them? Please?"
"I will, sweetheart."
"Thank you."
Another round of hugs and 'I love you', and it was over. Evy walked to John, placed her hand in his and leaned into his side. She was waving when Sam destroyed the pearl with shaking hands and tears running down his face. With a loud sound like a popping cork, Evy faded away, back into the life where she belonged.
Leaving behind two heartbroken brothers, both of whom felt their own hearts fading too.