The best way I could explain it was that life just wasn't interesting anymore. Though, most people would say that my last few months had been pretty eventful. My father was an international pilot, so he was gone long periods of time, usually leaving me with the closest living relative. Turns out, that even before my mom died, Dad had a little affair with some Scandinavian woman. A few months ago, she died, sending to my dad, and thus to me, the little bundle of joy that is my little brother, Ian. Who knows how many other siblings I have. Younger or older.
Ian wasn't too bad. He was only a few years younger than me. Neither of us liked to talk very much, so we stayed out of each other's business. Our "family" had just settled into a bigger house in a new neighborhood. Dad was gone again, and I refused to be carted off to Aunt Betty's. I was eighteen for goodness sakes. So, Ian and I stayed in our new house by ourselves. It seemed as good a time as any to go through with it.
I finished up my note. I really didn't give a shit what Dad thought or any of my other "close" relatives. Ian deserved a bit of an explanation. I wrote down Aunt Betty's address. He could go to her if he desperately needed something but I doubted it. I gave him the number to the cremator. That would probably be the cheapest thing to do with my body.
It wasn't that I was sad or depressed or anything. I had seen how cruelly predictable life could be. New environment same results. Same old boring new school. Same old boring new people who thought they knew everything about me from one glance.
I left the note on my desk where Ian would be able to find it whenever he went to look for a pencil or something. I was startled when I heard the sound of obnoxious laughter. That couldn't have been Ian. Oh God, please don't tell me it was that guy.
I slowly went down the stairs of our two story house. There were two people sitting on opposite sides of the couch. One extremely annoying one more than there should have been. He was chomping loudly on some popcorn and watching something insignificant on TV. He grinned widely, and little bits of soggy popcorn fell from the corners of his mouth and onto our carpet.
"Hey, there Lucy! Nice of you to finally join us!" he said.
"Get out of my house. No one wants you here," I said.
"Oh, don't say that! Your brother let me in."
Ian still stared blankly at the TV. He mindless kept chewing on a long stick of black licorice.
"Ian doesn't even know you," I said. I made my way to the bottom of the stairs. It still didn't look like he was going to leave.
"Oh, right. I haven't introduced myself. Hey, Ian. I'm Mark, your brother's boyfriend." Mark held out his hand for Ian to shake. Ian still didn't move. Mark awkwardly took Ian's hand and shook it a bit. Ian looked at the strange hand that was holding his in annoyance, but went back to the TV once Mark let go.
"I am not your boyfriend. I don't know you, and I don't want to," I said. He was really starting to get on my nerves, but I didn't want him to see. I used my usual monotone voice.
"Don't be like that, baby! Is this about me telling the entire school that you're gay?"
"I'm not gay." It seemed like I had repeated the phrase over a million times today all thanks to that idiot. I was used to rumors floating on about me, but none that were as ridiculous as this. It really didn't matter what orientation I was. I never really met anyone interesting enough to find out.
"Well, you're at least bi. I saw the expression on your face when you first laid eyes on me. I don't blame you, Lucy. I just have that sort of effect on people," Mark said smugly. He stretched and flexed the muscles in his arms and chest. He gave me another blinding white smile.
"Lucas had an expression?" Our conversation had finally caught some of Ian's attention. He looked from Mark to me, searching for any sort of emotion on my face.
"See? Even my baby brother can tell you're full of bullshit. Don't flatter yourself. I only had a bit of light in my eyes," I said.
Ian looked back at the TV and went back to eating his licorice. "Don't call me baby brother," he said in between bites.
There was something about Mark that really ticked me off. From his blonde hair that stuck out in the oddest way to his heavy black boots. He knew he was hot, and he wasn't afraid to shove it down everyone's throat. His obnoxious attitude sent my nerves to the very edge every time. I would tense up and could feel my heart race. There was a pit in my stomach, and I just wanted to punch his face. It was like even my body was having an allergic reaction to him.
"So, I know you're new around here and don't know all the best places yet. Don't worry. I'll take care of everything tomorrow for our date," Mark babbled on, ignoring what I had just said.
He just didn't get it. I yanked violently on his ear to get his sloppy ass off my couch.
"Ow, I get it!" he shouted as he winced from the pain. "Separation will only make our date that much sweeter."
I opened the front door and threw him down the porch. "Until tomorrow, my darling!" he called back loudly.
"Not in this lifetime," I said as I slammed the door.
I stood there and stared at Ian.
"What? You actually expected me to do something?" he said without any concern.
"For future reference, don't let clearly crazy people into the house," I said.
Ian didn't say anything. I assumed he got it. Hopefully, once I was gone, he wouldn't have to be around these strange characters.
"I'm going out for a walk." I grabbed my coat. The cool night air was still a bit chilly. "Don't wait up for me."
I snuck out the back door. That stalker, Mark, was probably still lingering out by the front. I couldn't hear him, but I didn't want to take any chances.
I leaned on the guardrail in the middle of the bridge. The dark waters churned violently beneath me. I vaguely wondered how many other people had jumped from here. It looked cold. I wonder how uncomfortable it would be before I finally died.
"I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend," I heard someone sing behind me. Out of tune. Obnoxiously. I quickly climbed over the guardrail finally ready to throw my life away. Afterlife or no, anything had to be better than this.
"No, please! Don't do it, Lucy!" Mark grabbed my arm to stop me from jumping. His grip felt odd.
"You better let go of me, and for the last time, my name isn't Lucy," I said.
"I'm not going to let go, Lucas."
His saying my actual name was somehow worse. His voice was low and purposeful, almost like a growl. I closed my eyes as I tried to slow my racing heart. I couldn't let him upset me. This was supposed to be my peaceful boring death.
We were at an impasse. He kept me clenched in his hand while I stood on the edge of the bridge. I didn't want to spend the effort to try to fight him off.
"How did you even find me? Did you follow me?" I said. If I could distract him, maybe I could get him to let go.
"No, I could see you standing in my spot from my window." He pointed to a house on the river bank not too far from where our house was. It was just a few doors down and across the street. We were practically neighbors. All the more reason for him to let me jump.
"Your spot?"
"Yeah, I jump from this spot all the time."
I looked from the river to Mark. It didn't look like anyone could survive. That's part of the reason I chose this spot.
"Are you insane?" I asked.
"I like the danger," he said as he winked at me. "Don't you ever get bored?"
I didn't want to think on how we had that in common. I'd have to be careful when I jumped. Be sure not to move so I'd be able to sink down.
"Look, I'm sorry for what happened back at your house. I always get kind of nervous when I meet the family," Mark went on without the need of encouragement.
"I don't know how it got conceived in your puny little mind that we are actually together or why you'd even need to 'meet my family.' You don't know a single thing about me," I said. I leaned further over the edge.
"I know you're bored," Mark said, stopping me in place. "Just like me. We both end up trying to jump off bridges. I know you don't like to share, but that's cool. I can talk enough for the both of us." His hand went down my arm and stopped at my wrist. The skin on skin contact brought a burning sensation where he touched me.
"I know I couldn't take my eyes off of you the very moment I saw you. I know there is no way I could ever let anyone else have you. Not even death. I know I need you for myself. I somehow know we are made for each other. And I know you know that too. So how can I not think that we are together?"
I knew there was a flaw to his logic, but I couldn't open my mouth to refute it. His blue eyes scoured mine, making it impossible to look away.
"But I can't help but feel like I'm getting these mixed signals," Mark continued. His eyes broke away from mine, much to my relief. "I'm not really sure if you really hate me or..."
"I don't hate you." That much I could say.
"Really?" Mark said, his voice was full of hope. He pulled me closer. "Then..."
"Hate would imply I would feel something passionate towards you. In reality, I couldn't care less. I am completely indifferent."
Mark's face was frozen. He couldn't quite comprehend.
"I don't care what you do. You could live or die. It wouldn't matter to me. You could jump ahead of me, if you like. I won't interfere with how you end your life. Just express that courtesy to me."
"So...you really don't care what I do," Mark said slowly.
"How many times do I have to repeat myself before it goes through that thick..."
My words were cut off when Mark brought his lips to mine. His hands went from my wrist to my lower back trying to hold me to him through the guardrail. His lips were warm and sweet and rough against mine. My head was going dizzy, and I couldn't think straight. I was actually starting to think that I was beginning to like it. I could feel my knees go weak and give out right as I began to make the long fall into the icy water.
I struggled for air as my head and upper body were pulled from the freezing water to the surface. My lungs were burning trying to get the water out. I tried to open my eyes to figure out what was happening. From what glimpses I could see, I was slowly headed back to shore. How was this happening? I wasn't even moving.
That's when I could hear the haggard breathing over the rush of the water. The source was just a few inches from my ear. One arm was wrapped around me just under my armpits. The other I could hear splashing the surface as he swam both of our bodies back to solid ground.
He dragged my body through the muddy, rocky river bank and laid down next to me exhausted.
"I can't...believe...you actually did it," Mark panted out. Not even this could keep him from shutting up. "I told you you'd survive. I just got a little concerned when you didn't come back up for air."
I elbowed him in the stomach, forcing what air in his lungs left to come spurting out. "That was the point, you idiot. Don't ever pull something like that on me ever again."
"What? Jump off a bridge? If you want, I'll stop. Anything for you, sweet cheeks." Mark turned his head and smiled at me.
"No. Jump off more bridges. Higher ones. Ones with sharp rocks at the bottom. Whatever kills you faster. What I want you to do is to stop touching me. I can't stand you."
Mark grinned wider. His hand reached over and caressed my cheek. "I thought you didn't care what I did, Lucy. I'm afraid I can't stop. I enjoy this way too much."
My fist went to his face. He pulled his hand back to his mouth. A spot of blood was apparent we he pulled his hand away.
"Ah, dam! I fink you bussed ma wipf!"
I sat up. The blood drained from my head, and I felt woozy again. I glared down at Mark. His lip was definitely bleeding. Shiny red blood shown from his lips even in the darkness.
Why him of all people? All he had to do was touch me, and it sent my heart slamming into my chest and my skin to break out in a tingling, itching sensation. And the odd part was that now I wanted to feel it all over. What was so special with what happened on the bridge?
I propped myself on top of him. Made sure our eyes were lined up. His blue eyes darted around nervously at first, but then settled into my own. They dilated and pulled me in closer.
"Lucas, I..." he whispered low.
"Shut up," I growled.
"But..."
It was my turn to interrupt him. I kissed him this time. His lips were slick from the blood and slid easily under mind. He tasted slightly metallic. But then, he started to move. His hand went to my face, and we were connected. I had no choice but to move with him.
Without breaking the kiss, Mark slowly sat up. I had to sit on his thighs. I just couldn't break away anymore. I didn't want to. His tongue gently licked and pressed up against my lips, begging for entrance. I surprised both myself and him by letting him in. As he played with my tongue, he bent his knees. I slid down so I was straddling his hips and was moved deeper into the kiss.
My fingers latched into his damp hair. I pushed him closer instead of yanking him away. A gust of cold air went up my shirt. Mark's hands were there. His icy fingers left burning trails as he went up my chest and exposed my stomach to the night. I twitched and shivered under his touch. His thumbs made fast circles around my nipples, causing them to stand out. I really couldn't stand it anymore. The sensation of him being there caused me to gasp out loudly and break the long kiss.
Mark was grinning. the blood was gone from his lips, so i must not have hurt him too bad. if i had, he wouldn't have been kissing me so intently. Our hot heavy breathing formed one cloud. "If I'm already this far, just imagine what we'd do if you actually liked me!"
He went in for another long kiss. I turned my face away this time. That still didn't stop him. He sucked and nipped at my neck.
That was enough. I placed my hands on his broad shoulders and pushed myself up. His hands slipped helplessly from my shirt as I stood. I ignored the feeling that wanted me to go back there to him. I turned around and walked away.
"Hey, Lucy, come back! Seriously, what was that all about? Do you like me or not?" Mark said from behind me.
"I don't like you. I must have been bored or something," I said whimsically. I continued on my way back home. For some reason, I just didn't feel like jumping off tThe bridge again. I could die some other day.
"So...do you think you'll be bored tomorrow?" Mark asked, sweetly pathetic hope coloring his voice. You could hear how much he wanted me. I couldn't help but be drawn to him.
I turned my head around and barely smiled. To think that this pain in the ass made something as boring as life mildly interesting. I couldn't even remember the last time I smiled.
"I don't know. Probably. So you better come catch me before I jump off another bridge."