Anonymous requested: maybe something like hirahara being the idiot power who asks how babies are made and everyone panics about how to explain it without hurting his inner child? maybe one of them would answer "let me practice it on you" and everyone went "nononononoNO", just that one chaos hirahara always make :')))
Admin Notes: Pfft! Ohhhh my gosh! Poor sunshine child just wanted to know the answer to an innocent question… But could you imagine if he actually found out one day? XD -Admin Hirahara
It was actually, surprisingly, a very quiet day for the escorts. There weren't any immediate missions, and the six found themselves in the break room with nothing better to do that think to themselves. Saeki was currently looking over some sheet music he was given to practice, Tanizaki was looking through the bookshelf for something to read, Kinoshita had the newspaper in his hands, Tagami was asleep at the sofa, Kirishima had found a stray cat and was currently pampering it, and Hirahara was twirling his fingers and staring off into space.
It wasn't until Rokkaku stepped in to see what everyone was doing that Hirahara finally stopped being bored out of his mind. He jumped from where he was sitting and hurried to the older man, eager to get whatever it was off of his mind. Rokkaku eyed him before asking what it was that he wanted. Without missing a beat, Hirahara exclaimed (rather loudly) "Rokkaku-san! There's something I've been meaning to ask you!" It was loud enough to spark everyone's curiosity just a little. Even Tagami opened one eye to see what the energetic escort was going on about.
"Yes, what is it?" Rokkaku asked, wondering if it was something as ridiculous as wanting mammoth meat again. Instead, something entirely different came out.
"Where do babies come from?" Rokkaku nearly dropped the pipe from his mouth, startled by the sudden question. The other escorts had equally surprised reactions. Saeki dropped the sheet music and let it scatter all over the ground, red in the face. Kirishima looked up from stroking the cat. Kinoshita was bent over in his newspaper, probably laughing, and Tanizaki nearly jumped. Tagami actually woke up and sat up right. Hirahara wasn't sure what everyone was so surprised about; he thought it was just a regular question.
"Nope." Rokkaku decided, turning around and walking back down the hallway as if Hirahara hadn't just asked him a question. He left his escorts to figure this problem out for themselves. Hirahara, wondering what could have caused Rokkaku to leave, turned around and looked back at the others, who were all staring at him with wide eyes (except Tagami… he glared like he usually did).
"Did I say something wron~g?" Hirahara asked, a stupid smile on his face. When no one could muster the words to tell him how wrong it was to just ask Rokkaku where babies came from, Hirahara changed his mind. "Ah! In that case, maybe you guys can answer my question!" He was about to repeat it when Saeki sprang up from his chair, waving his hands frantically.
"NO! We heard you the first time!" He exclaimed, way more nervous than anyone had ever seen him before. He was also very red in the face, which Hirahara didn't understand at all. At this point, all eyes were on Saeki instead, because he looked like he was a bag of nerves. Kirishima placed the cat on the ground (where he would be forgotten for the rest of the time) to try and calm the caped escort down.
"Uh, Saeki…" He patted the shorter on the back. Saeki shook his head, taking a deep breath. His face was still red, but he seemed to have calmed down a lot.
"Ah, well…" He started, wondering how exactly he was to put this into words. "When, um, two people, Hirahara. Like. That is. Love. Love each other. A lot." It wasn't working. Nothing he said was coming out in sentences, which only left Hirahara even more confused. In the end, Kirishima had to sit Saeki down to keep him from being so jittery as he tried to answer the question.
"I'm not dealing with this." Tanizaki decided, going back to looking for a book. Tagami also debated going back to sleep, but he was also mildly entertained by the commotion. It was Kirishima's turn to next try and explain where babies come from. And it wasn't working either. He had just about as hard of a time as Saeki did, trying to pick the right words.
"Babies, Hirahara. They. Uh." He started, but couldn't really finish off that idea. In the end, he was also useless, and went back to try and make Saeki feel better as the two tried to come up with a subtle way of just saying it. In the mean time, Kinoshita had finally stopped laughing into his newspaper and took note of the horribly clueless Hirahara still standing in the middle of the room, waiting for an answer. This, he decided, was his time to step in.
"Say, Hirahara," He said in a strange tone. It was almost… charming. Hirahara looked over to the taller escort with anticipation. "How about-" he stood very close to the golden eyed escort, taking a hand and holding Hirahara's chin up. "-I give you a demonstration?" He was about to lean down for some sort of a kiss when a flying Kanabo hit him so hard in the head he ended up falling over onto Hirahara, probably dead for the time being.
"Don't you dare." Tanizaki said, holding his now bloodied Kanabo. "That's just stupid." He turned to face Kirishima and Saeki, who happened to have drawn a sword and pulled out a gun. Looks like they were going to attack Kinoshita too… Tanizaki huffed. When he looked back to Hirahara, he had leaned Kinoshita against the sofa and was trying to balance him. However, one he gave up and just let the emerald eyed escort fall to the ground, he looked back at Tanizaki with anticipation. His question was still unanswered.
"So, you know, right?" He asked, his eyes sparkling. "Tanizaaaaki! Tell me!" He whined. The violet escort just shook his head vigorously.
"I don't have to tell you that!" He exclaimed angrily, turning away. His ears were slightly pink from embarrassment. Hirahara sighed, looking down and a little bit depressed. In the end, it looked like he still wouldn't know where babies come from. Everything was pretty much in chaos at this point. Saeki, Kirishima, and Tanizaki were talking over one another, Tanizaki saying they should just get it over with, Saeki profusely refusing to say anything, and Kirishima wondering where his cat went. Kinoshita was still passed out on the floor, but at least the bleeding stopped.
"Babies come from women." A quiet voice broke the arguments and caused the whole room to be dead silent. It was Tagami. He, who had been watching everything happen the entire time, had finally decided to speak up. "Babies come from women." He answered simply again. He glared once at Hirahara to shut him up, then put his head back down on the table, ready to get some sleep while he still could.
"Hmmmm…" Hirahara contemplated if the answer was satisfactory, but then nodded happily. "You're probably right! Thanks Tagami~!" He decided, skipping away to go do who knows what next. The three that were still there just turned to Tagami in amazement. Tagami continued to sleep, as if that whole catastrophe didn't just happen.