I sat in bed with my legs pulled to my chest. I watched the headlights bounce off the opposite wall; I listened to the street sounds. I waited. I wiggled my toes under the covers and listened to the air conditioning shut off. I hated myself for not being able to quiet my mind. I kicked off the covers and swung my legs off the side of the bed. I flipped open my phone, it was almost two in the morning. I groaned and stood; I walked to the mirror and looked at myself, up and down. I ran my fingers through my tangled hair and shifted my weight from one leg to the other. I couldn't remember the last time I had brushed my hair. My life was out of control, I couldn't pull anything together.

I paced the length of my room twice before dropping onto the bed and tucking my legs beneath me. I picked up my cell phone and began dialing, 2,6,0,3...I dropped the phone. I was being ridiculous. I fell back onto my pillow and groaned. I rolled over and shut my eyes tightly. I waited and counted to ten before I sat back up. I picked up the cell phone, 2,6,0,3,9,7,0. I held the phone pressed to the side of my face. It rang twice before someone answered, "Hello?" I stayed silent. "Hello?" I opened my mouth to speak, but no sound came out. I swallowed the lump growing in my throat and began to speak, "Hey. I know, I'm being stupid, I know it's late. God it's been forever. I just wanted…I'm doing fine, A little tired, but…I guess that's to be expected, so how are-." I was gibbering. "Arabella? Jesus, do you know what time it is?" Draco hissed, you could hear him sitting and trying to wake up. "Yeah, God, I'm sorry, I'll…just. Call…back." I drifted off. Draco sighed, "Nah, I'm up. What did you need? Why did you call?" I shrugged forgetting he couldn't see me and then responded, "I…how are you?" Draco groaned, "Fine, Arabella, I'm fine. How are you?"

"I'm getting…better."

"Are you lying? You never could lie." Draco chuckled.

"Oh. Yeah. It's pretty rough." I replied, broken.

"Give me fifteen minutes."

I didn't reply, I didn't have to. I put down the phone and got up, suddenly even more awake than before. I hurried around my room, making it presentable. I pulled my hair back into a messy bun and pushed a small mint into my mouth. I went into the kitchen to set some water to boil for tea. I watched the clock and counted as the minutes passed by. I pushed myself up onto the counter across from the stove and watched the tea kettle. I jumped down and leaned over the sink. I flipped on the kitchen light and started at the loud pop which came from behind me, it sounded much like a car back firing.

I spun around and felt my knees buckle, standing in the middle of my kitchen was Draco. He wore a pitying expression and his hands were in his pockets. I fell back onto the counter and Draco frowned. "You...Your hair is lighter." Draco said quietly as he took a step forward.

I reached up and felt my bun, and almost instinctually, I tried to step back. "I dyed it, after you…left…" I drifted off and looked down. Draco reached his hand up towards my face. I cleared my throat and he dropped his arm back to his side. "What have you been doing, lately?" I asked, regretting almost instantly that I had said anything at all. "I was…traveling." Draco replied hesitantly. I nodded and walked over to the stove. I grabbed two mugs and poured the hot water into them. "I only have tea bags…" I muttered as I dropped one into each mug. Draco didn't say anything but he continued to study me. I handed him his mug, "There is sugar in that cabinet and milk in there." I said nodding towards the refrigerator. Draco took his cup and sipped it slowly. I did the same, and so we stayed in silence.

"How have you been keeping yourself?" Draco started putting his cup down.

"I've been fine. You?"

"Still working on it, traveling a bit. You know?"

I nodded and drained my cup, the hot tea burning the roof of my mouth.

"I'm surprised you stayed in this place."

"I like the view." I said shrugging.

"It's not very wizard friendly though, is it?"

"Fair amount. Mrs. Frodrick, down the lane, she's done a good bit of magic in her time."

Draco nodded and strolled over to me.

I didn't move.

"I worry about you, Arabella."

I looked down.

"You aren't doing so well. I mean, look at you!" He said sternly cupping my face with his hands and forcing me to look at him.

"I'm fine." I muttered blinking back tears.

"You're exhausted, you need sleep." Draco said quietly, almost a whisper.

I nodded, defeated. He pulled me into a tight embrace and I let my head rest on his chest. I felt the tears fall freely and I struggled to compose myself. Draco rubbed small circles on my back and I felt a wave of exhaustion come over me.

"C'mon you."

I felt myself being swept up into Draco's arms. My head lulled against his shoulder.

"You need to rest."

I tried to sit up, I tried to protest,

"I-I-I'm fine." I said stifling a yawn.

"Sleep, love, sleep." Draco whispered against my temple as I drifted off.

Next morning, I woke to sunlight streaming into my bedroom. I sat up and pulled my legs from the tangle of sheets. I shook my head attempting to clear my thoughts; I couldn't fit the events of last night into place. I'm sure my mind had added fragments of this and that to answer left questions. I felt nauseous and I scrambled out of bed. I slumped against the doorway and looked down the hall, seeing nothing, I continued onto the kitchen.

I didn't find him. I cursed myself silently and spun around. I could hardly believe I had fallen into this trap again. This ridiculous repeating, dysfunctional…no, not a relationship. I dropped onto the nearest bar stool and let my head rest against the cool counter. I felt my face grow hot, a sure warning of tears to come, when I heard the front door open.

"Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

I lifted my head slowly.

"I was thinking of just getting bagels, but, the shops around here…"

I turned and looked at him, he must of gone home at some point because he had changed clothes, but he still wore that carefree smile.

"Since I'm here, I thought we could…clean up a bit."

I bit my lip and waited.

"We don't have to."

I nodded and slowly got off my seat. I walked towards Draco with uncanny grace. I wrapped my arms around his waist and tilted my face towards his. I had to stand on my tippy toes to reach him, and I pressed myself against him. I slowly closed my eyes and leaned in.

"Jesus, Arabella!" Draco gasped pushing me away. I flinched.

"You can't do this again, not right now!" Draco turned and threw himself onto the sofa. "We don't work…well…together." Draco hissed dropping his head into his hands.

"I'm so sorry; I don't know what I was thinking." I whispered.

Draco looked up and he rushed towards me, "Stop that. Stop that now." He said firmly.

I opened my mouth to protest but he shook his head,

"You're always apologizing, and damn it, it makes me sick. Look what you are doing! Your life is a mess! You run around pretending you don't care, that you're fine, you're not." Draco grabbed my shoulders, "You called me here at two in the morning to what, offer me tea and apologize? Apologize for what?"

"Jesus, I don't know! I don't know!"

I dropped to my knees and felt my body shake with each sob; I felt my chest burn as I struggled to bring in air. I balled my hands into fists and tried to make myself as small as possible. Neither of us moved for what seemed like hours, but was surely only seconds, when finally, Draco pulled me up into a great hug.

"No, damn it. If you think I'm a mess, then just get out. Get out, leave me!" I yelled.

"No."

"Get out!"

"No."

Draco's arms tightened around me as I struggled to pull away, I pulled back and began beating his chest with my fists; small feeble hits I was sure Draco barely felt.

"Stop it."

I felt all the sleepless nights catching up with me, and more than anything, I wanted release.

"Please stop."

I gasped and broke away, I looked at Draco, and I felt the tears continue to fall silently.

"Draco, please, I am exhausted."

Draco's face had fixed itself into a sympathetic expression.

"Please."

Draco flinched, hearing the pleading tone in which I spoke.

"You want me gone?"

I nodded gradually and Draco stepped back.

"You want me to leave?"

I nodded again.

"Call me when you've gotten more organized."

. Draco walked out the door unruffled and as the door shut, I heard a loud pop. He was gone.

I groaned and threw myself against the door. I fell to the ground and stayed there for hours. My legs grew numb and stiff, and when I finally stood, I nearly fell over. I staggered to my bedroom and collapsed on my bed. I did not sleep. I sat. I waited. I shifted positions but stayed on my bed.

The one thing I dreaded had happened again, it was playing over and over in my head. I could still hear the hurt in Draco's voice as he said goodbye. I couldn't clear my mind; whenever I closed my eyes I saw Draco's wounded expression. I ached all over, and the days passed dully. I ignored the door and left the phone unanswered. I sat at night, at noon, in the morning. I did not eat, I did not sleep. I did nothing. I felt satisfyingly anesthetized.

On the third day, I heard a particularly loud knock on my door, as normal, I left it unanswered. The pounding strengthened and I heard Mrs. Frodrick, "Arabella? Dear, your mail is out here, and your papers."

I rolled over and shut my eyes tighter.

"I haven't seen you in a while."

I stayed fixed under my covers.

"How about some tea, dear?"

I pulled the sheets taut but remained as still as possible.

"Fine. I'm coming in. Alohomora."

I heard the lock click and the door open.

"Dear me. How long have you been lying here? Foolish child, you should've come and gotten me. We had no idea you were ill." Mrs. Frodrick fussed as she entered my room.

"Now, I told Earl. I said, 'She's most likely tripped and bumped her head. She's hurt.' But did he listen? No, no, nonono. Well, I told him."

I blinked.

"You know, you wouldn't be like this if you would just use a bit of magic every once in a while…then again, no."

I stayed silent.

"I'll call Earl for some food, you're skin and bones."

She raised her wand.

"Accio soup!"

A large pot of soup flew into the bedroom and not far behind shuffled in Mr. Frodrick.

"'Ello Bella! Stuck your self in a bit o' trouble? Nothin' me wife won't be able to fix."

Mrs. Frodrick blushed furiously and turned away.

"I's said to me wife, 'she's a witch, if she needs anythin', and she has a wand!"

Mr. Frodrick patted my hand.

"I thought I heard some yelling around here couple nights ago. Is everything alright, dear?"

"Mabel! O' course everythin' is not alright, look at 'er!" Mr. Frodrick hissed as I closed my eyes.

"Oh shush! Bella? Oh, bless her little heart, she's asleep."

I feigned sleep until I heard Mr. Frodrick ushering his wife out of the room.

I could still hear their muffled voices through the door.

"Oh dear, I hope it's nothing serious. That girl needs somebody."

"Mabel, don't fuss. Bella's a smart girl."

"I just worry about her, where is her family? Or friends? Does she have anybody?"

"She 'as us."

I heard Mrs. Frodrick make a sound of disapproval in the back of her throat before they left the apartment.

I sat up and found the bowl of soup floating mid air by my bed, forever warmed.

I pulled the bowl onto my laps and ate spoonful after spoonful suddenly ravenous. I slid the soft potatoes and juicy steak bits into my open mouth. I was going to gain back my strength and I was going to pull myself together. No more untimely phone calls. I was going to get my life back.