Please let me go
Oh, I hope upon
worldly hope that my life will end; that the pounding heart that I hear in my
chest will simply burst, or tire, or both and I will succumb to the loneliness
of death. There at least, with some dark shadowy glimmer, lies my salvation.
I'm sick, tired, of this semblance of a life, and the sins I have committed.
Haven't I paid for my deeds long enough...? I want to cry, but am reminded I
cannot Why, I don't know. Maybe I am too tired? I've been sick of my life
for far too long And truly, would anyone care if I passed into oblivion,
like others before me? I am nothing more than a bastard of history, with no
name, and nothing, no one left to care. To care about the eternity that awaits
my soul, if you could call the black cowl in my chest such a thing... Why did
I step down this path in the first place? What drove me to these barren depths?
I don't want to continue Thank Heaven, thank Hell: the castle is crumbling
around me, slowly, surely I'll die soon. Endlessness will come. But why
can't it come faster?
A giggle resounds
around me. Cold, raspy, mechanical and I realize with a start that it
is my own. Why, now, on the brink of my ultimate and final release am I haunted
with sanity? For years I have driven that foe back, with a sharp tongue and
a haunted mind, but now, when I am about to be enveloped in the darkness why
should my old friend come rescue me now? Or could you even call it rescue? It
sounds more like another hellish reminder of my many mistakes
The reasoning light
is fading now. Good, good. Let the red binding glare of dementia take my limbs
hostage again, and let my mouth spill dirty curses. I am corrupted. I am infected.
Let the infection breach the last barricades of humanity, let me crumble into
beasthood. There... There...
Ah, no... I hear
a shadowy voice from beyond the optical darkness that alights about me. It wraps
me in warm sheets and coos at me, as if I was a child. Oh That damn half
esper child. Her and her What was that last thought? My mind is
cloudier now. I can barely breathe. I can feel the foundations of my palace
- the palace, the paradise where I became a God - finally begin to shatter.
Seconds now give way to a welcome black hole of nothingness, sucking all into
it's exquisite vacuum. I will be within it's loving death-grasp soon. Should
I pray? As I was taught years and years ago? By my mother What happened
to her? Where is she now? Can I see her once more...? Just once more...
"Mama"
my dry voice is like a dead dry leaf being crumbled in a child's hand.
Apparitions swirl
before me Mama She is here. After all I had done to her After
"Don't leave"
I whisper once more. But my mother looks at me sadly, so sadly. And a blinding
flash... Of blood spilling from that oh-so-familiar neck. Was it I with the
knife? Were those my childlike hands...?
"My son
Even I cannot save you." She whispers in my ear.
I finally allow
tears to form reddish rivulets upon my shattered face. They pool so gently about
my disfigured form, one that has been subjected to too much, formed into the
shadow of a God, but an imperfect one. I am such a beast, I was such a fool.
I was defective from the start. Just like the toy I destroyed when I was but
six
Oh, to return to
those days and perhaps start fresh! Maybe... To feel love and not hate, to be
sane, and not on the brink
It's too late for
those thoughts now My mother is gone, long gone, at my own hands. There
is nothing... Nothing.
I am once again
alone in the now suffocating darkness. And in this darkness the souls of the
many that I have killed call to me from the endless void, fast approaching.
They cry and yearn for revenge and they will get it, they will force me through
a thousand deaths. They utter these throaty, blood-sealed promises, again and
again. They shall torture and condemn my soul for destroying them, their families
For decimating their innocence. For corrupting, for smashing their purity.
I cannot resist
the cries that scream and moan now. I guess I deserve this Is it time?
Please let me go now. Release me from pain, I will gladly sacrifice my mortal
shell, and allow my soul to wither This evil in my heart needs to be taken
away. I have eaten myself alive; I, Kefka The evil, sick psycho. The beast,
the murderer, the fool Oh, dear lord, where did I go wrong? Is it
possible to know...? No, can't trace that far back Perhaps, foretold by
the stars? Ah No matter. I suppress a giggle My old friend Dementia
will escort me to the bowels.
Bad habits die
hard Just like me.
I'm going now
No one can follow me now I am condemned to an eternity in Hell.
I deserve it.
