"I can't sleep anymore. I can't think, I can't feel. I'm trapped in this self that I can't understand. I just don't know what I AM anymore!"
"I mean, I used to know but every since that time... that time... so long.. ago..."
"What time, Musouka?" Aisei-sensei asked quietly. An elderly man with an outstanding degree, he worked at the psychiatric ward, his current patient being a young girl of fifteen.
By all rights, she was fine physically but everyone said that her mental capacities were failing. The doctor was not so sure of that. He knew there were secrets she would not spill so he gently guided her to at least talk some way about whatever was bothering her.
"Time? Did I say time?" She laughed nervously. She paced and looked out of the window at the high setting of the sun. Midday and yet she was trapped in a white room where she wanted to spill everything.
But there was no way in hell she could do that. Oh no, one word of what went through her head and they'd lock her up for good.
"Yes. You were saying that you were trapped because of some incident.." He trailed off, waiting for her reply.
She turned and faced a mirror. Her face was pale. It used to be a normal healthy glow of peach. Her eyes were still blue but now seemed dull. Her sky blue hair was even messy. It was cropped unevenly. She cut it herself when she had a nightmare that her hair was strangling her.
She reached out slowly and her fingers lightly tapped that mirror. She half expected to be sucked into that reflection. She saw it but she felt as if it were mocking her, saying it wasn't her, it would never be her.
"Musouka?" The doctor broke into her thoughts gently.
"I...what were we talking about?" She looked honestly confused.
He sighed a bit reluctantly. "Our time's up for today. See you on Friday?"
"Yea... sure..." She looked back at the mirror again and felt relief as she realized that it WAS her in the reflection.
As she left the building, she hurriedly snuck behind a bush and fiddled around in her pocket. Just to her side was a vending machine.
And she just had to get her chocolate fix today. She hummed as she put the money in and pressed F1 to obtain a chocolate bar. She watched it sag with glee, about to fall.
And then it froze in the air and her smile faded.
"Hey.." She began. "HEY! Give me my bar! GIVE ME GIMME GIMME!" She kicked at it with relish, her emotions welling up until she broke into sobs. "I just wanna freakin' candy bar!"
"Relax, relax," A girl appeared from the side, with blue hair and blue eyes. She smiled at the other, despite the frazzled look and added more money and pushed the same button.
It caused two candy bars to fall and Musouka's eyes widened in glee once more.
"Here," The other girl handed her both. "I don't eat much chocolate. Have a nice day," She waved as she began to walk off.
But Musouka's hands slowly fisted around the candy bar and she hurriedly reached the other girl.
"Please! Take it as a token of my appreciation!" She smiled weakly. "Please?"
The other was quiet before smiling. "Sure, why not?"
And she again left as Musouka watched her. Once completely gone, she tore into the candy like it was precious water and began stuffing into her face.
"Musouka?" Helen Seiseino was a English professor at a nearby high school. Thankfully, it wasn't the one her daughter went to but Mosouka made sure never to bring that up to her mother. Helen arched an eyebrow. "What did I tell you about candy?"
Musouka mumbled something.
"That's right! Too much is unhealthy. You promised you watched your intact."
"It's been a day," Musouka began.
"Yes but still. You're agitated enough already, you don't need sugar," Her mother smiled sympathizing.
"Mother, I do not have ADD!" Mosouka began.
"I know, I know," Helen held up her hands in defense. "Before we head home, go clean your face."
Musouka sighed noisily. "Blah, blah, blah.."
She entered the restroom and quickly washed her face. She looked up at the reflecting mirror and stared at it until her eyes dulled out.
She must of passed out because she awoke, her mother over her worriedly. "Honey! What happened?"
"My.. head hurts.." Musouka struggled up, her mother aiding her with a shoulder to lean on.
"Another fainting spell. Damn it! I thought the medication would be helping."
"It's been happening less and less, Mom. Don't worry," Musouka smiled at her mother.
And her mother tried to smile back but worry and fear was hard to shed.
She entered the school a few feet and promptly turned around and left once more. She'd been doing this for the past half hour now and school was going to be starting soon. Others passed her, glancing at her with strange looks.
She ignored them and tried to think positively.
'My shadow's trying to get me...' A voice said. It was her voice but why the hell would she be thinking like this! It was like her nightmares, trying to brainwash her to think that everything was going to kill her or something.
"Come on, Musouka! It's time to hit the books!" She told herself.
'Or have them crash down on you.'
"DAMNIT!" This drew a lot of people's attention and she spotted a teacher weaving in toward her. She let out a animalistic hiss before disappearing into the building, walking rapidly. She made it a point to never run so she looked pretty damn foolish with her elongated steps.
She sighed as she found her locker in moments. She fiddled with the lock and with a decisive snap, it flung itself open as she felt shadows reach out and grasp her.
And of course, with her terrifying screams, she drew plenty of more attention. By the time she realized that it was all in her head, everyone had backed off a good twenty feet, staring at her like she was crazy.
"I'm not crazy!" She shouted at them before looking back at the locker. She lay in a huddle, unable to move.
So someone else did for her. A young blonde with a red bow plucked the few books in the rather dusty locker and put them in the discarded bag before she walked over to Musouka.
And Musouka noted the light airy step the other had, as if she were a angel who floated. That was her thought.
"Here, these are the books you were looking for right?" She smiled at the other girl. They were the same height but the other was more muscled.
Musouka didn't look up. "Thanks..." Her voice came out strained but not flat like it usually did when she tried to be nice to people.
"So where's your class?" The other asked. The other students were breaking off but a teacher approached.
"Someone was screaming," The teacher began.
"She saw a spider or something," the other girl waved her hand idly.
"Huh? Well, you are all right?" The teacher knelt down to Musouka's level.
'Yea, right. If I answered that one the way I WANTED to...'
"I'm fine," her voice was listless. "I just.. jumped, that's all."
"All right then. Head to class you two," And he turned smartly with a curt nod to the two girls.
"So what class are you in?"
"I'm in... 3 - A."
"Really?" The blue eyed blonde angel smiled. "That's my class! Come on, I'll be your tour!"
"Oh but.." But the girl grabbed her hand and tugged her up effortlessly.
"My name is Aino Minako," the blonde introduced herself.
"I'm Seiseino Musouka."
"Huh? Really, you don't look completely Japanese," Minako pointed out.
"I'm half. My mother's English."
"Really! What's that like?"
"Like I have a mom that's English! What'd you think it'd be like?" Musouka snapped.
"Sorry, sorry. Anyways, here's our class!"
And Musouka dutifully followed the rather boisterous girl, despite the misgivings that the girl was far too happy and rather floaty.
Musouka sat in the back with Minako a seat ahead. She lost interest fast and was gazing out of the window, her mind wonderfully blank. But she felt like she was living somewhere out there, in some place that she longed so much to escape to.
It was full of life, of dragons and magic and people who spoke in song. It was a fantasy but she went to it often as if it were her own real world.
Which was where she was as Minako poked her arm. Minako, not getting an answer, moved the poking to the head and accidentally poked Musouka's eye out.
"OWIEE!" Musouka blinked, rubbing her smarting eye as she glared at the other girl.
"Class is over. We can go home... Where'd you go off to?" Minako asked interested.
"No where. I'm always here!" She grumbled, trying to stand up. But she was struck by a dizzy spell and crashed forward. The desk was spilled with her and something shot out, glittering brightly before disappearing into a shadow.
"Here," Minako helped her up before turning to get whatever had been danced away. She found it, a gold band with a white diamond on its top. It was etched with lining along it's edges.
"Hey, is this.. like an engagement ring?" Minako breathed.
"WHAT?" Musouka was breaking from her spell and was stuffing her bag with her fallen items. She was distracted but she didn't much care anyways what Minako was saying.
"Is this a engagement ring?" Minako repeated.
"No, it's not!" Musouka held out her hand, her face set in stone.
Minako blinked before carefully handing it back.
Musouka placed the ring on her left thumb.
"Uh.. that's the wrong finger.." She began halfheartedly.
"It fits my thumb only," Musouka shrugged.
They walked quietly out and down the hall. Musouka eyed the shadows at the side and sighed slightly as they exited, seeing the sunlight shatter the black figures into gray lines.
"Well, it was nice hanging out," Minako began.
"Yea...nice. Look, don't force yourself to like me or 'hang out' with me. I'm fine on my own. So yea, just wanted to say that. See ya."
She turned on her heels and trudged to the bus.
She sat down quietly on the empty bench. She fiddled with the ring before placing it up high to admire the rainbow effects splay over her outfit.
She sighed tiredly. "Just where am I going? I can't even think straight anymore.."
She rubbed her eyes and winced, her eye socket still sore from Minako's persistent poking. "I should've yelled at her.."
The bus rolled in and she got on, her attention withdrawn within her. She was unaware of people who looked almost like her. Pale faces, dull eyes, and hunched bodies that seemed to be draining of energy.
They all had their eyes closed.
The bus door slowly closed but it let out a echoing clack and she jumped, her eyes flying open. And she realized that there was a very strange problem.
"Head on back, girlie," The bus driver crackled before throwing the bus into full throttle. She was thrown backwards with a scream and found the ceiling glowing with strange flickering lights that bore down on her. She began to feel heavy and her body snapped, collapsing.
'Oh...'
'Sleeping on the job?' It was like her voice but tinted in colors.
'Baku..'
'Here and ready. Wanna get up now?'
'My body..'
'Wake up, woman!' Baku's voice was laughing.
She felt it, a wisp sucking around her, soothing her jangled nerves. 'We need to save them. If they sleep just a little more, they will not wake up. You must wake up for them..'
'Fine! Fine...'
"Fine..." Her eyes fluttered open as the bus came to a throbbing halt. She spotted a set of three girls, one of them being of that blue haired one from the hospital. "Better make this quick," She grunted as she fisted her hand with the ring.
"Morpheus! Awaken me!" She called out as she curled into a ball of light. She then slowly stretched as if awakening and opened her eyes, the light fading out to reveal her fuku.
She had no tiara but a gold crescent moon facing the right. Her earrings were studded three times, the bottom a rectangular link, the middle a round loop, and the second a round stud, all of them yellow. Her choker was gold with a dangling sky blue orb. At each side and attached to the bottom edge were two more round orbs. These orbs were attached to the dangling orb with black thread. The dangling orb had three consecutive orbs, getting smaller the further down.
Her collar was sky blue with a gold edge and a gold stripe going across just before the point into the brooch and a gold stripe just a few inches from the back edge. Her bodice was white with wing like shoulders, not unlike Saturn but these pointed downward. The bodice was divided at the breasts and along the curves of her front body was a divider as well. The brooch was blue with a gold outline and the bow was like a gold shoe lace but the tails were tassels instead.
The waistband was a gold belt. At its center was blue rectangle that had a blue gem in its center, this gem outlined in gold. The skirt was jeans with three levels. The top was sky blue, the secondary blue, and the bottom was white. At the sides of the belt were two jean strands of blue that hooked around her hips to the back of the belt. Her back bow were merely blue tassels, clasped at each end with a gold orb, the tufts puffing out a inch or so.
She wore sky blue hand gloves but the fingers were cut off. Her boots were a few inches above her ankles and sky blue. They looked pretty heavyset and they had a good two inch heel. At each ankle was a gold band. At each side of the band was a ring that dangled three threads that attached to the back of her ankles with another ring.
"Hoee!" She jumped headfirst at the driver with a squeal.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" The lady screamed, her face contorting into that of a grotesque monster.
"I'm going to end this nightmare!" She reached around and stomped her foot onto the gas pedal.
The three girls all jumped back as the bus lurched and then came to a crash at a pole.
"Not my best but hey..." Mosouka shrugged.
"YOU LITTLE!" A wretched hand grasped Mosouka's throat before throwing her back out just in time with the door swinging open. The monster slinked out, its tongue lashing out. "Should've fallen asleep!"
"Ha! As the soldier of dreams, I am the Dream Shaper, Sailor Morpheus! I'm turning this into your nightmare, you monster!"
"HA!" It struck out, its claws elongating to plaster the senshi to the wall. "Now, let's see what kind of nightmares you hold?" It smiled, the smirk stretching it's already strained features.
"Hey! How dare you attack some innocent girl!" Sailor Moon, followed by Sailor Mercury and Sailor Jupiter. "I am the pretty suited sailor soldier, Sailor Moon! In the name of the moon, you're punished!"
"Hey! Get me down!" Morpheus shouted.
"HA!" It re-grew its claws, destroying the cement as cracks and debris appeared as it attacked. The girls easily dodged.
"Jupiter Thunder Dragon!"
"Mercury Shabon Spray!"
The two girls attacked and easily blasted the monster back, hard. It rammed into the bus and Morpheus winced.
"Carefully! There are a bunch of sleeping idiots on that bus!" She called out.
Sailor Moon reached her in a few gallops and tugged on the digging claws. "Say, are you a senshi?"
"Give a point to the kid! OF COURSE I AM! I got the freakin' collar, don't I!"
Sailor Moon heaved and Morpheus collapsed, feeling lightheaded. "Aye... This just isn't what I was meant to do!"
The monster reared up. "You cannot ..."
"Defeat me! Yea, we heard it all before!" Morpheus pressed her hands outward. "Morpheus Nightmarish Hold!" Black holes sucked outward, clamping around the monster. In seconds, it began to scream in terror. "Somebody do a final hit!"
"Moon Princess Halation!" Sailor Moon called out and the light was engulfed in the shadows before tearing it apart, the monster turning to dust.
"Great! Now for the sleepers!" Morpheus pranced up as she held up her hand. It was wisp, barely there as she called out. "Baku, Devour!"
It shot up and outward, swirling over the people until it ran out of others to wake up. It shot back to her before dispersing into thin air with a sound akin to a belch.
"What the hell was that?" Jupiter demanded.
"Uh...Bye!" And she turned and took off running.
She turned a corner, her body straining. "RUNNING! I hate running!" She untransformed and sighed, exhaustion spilling out.
Then her head snapped up. "Oh shit! I forgot my bookbag!" She turned and hurried back, this time making sure she wasn't running.
"My bag, my bag.." She turned to enter the bus but people began piling out, squashing her backwards as she grumbled.
"Can't breath..." She shoved past the last stragglers and found her bag hidden under the bench. She picked it up and shook of whatever dirt had fallen on it. "Phew.." She looked around, the bus now emptied.
She left the bus and came face to face with the three girls. "Yes?"
"I guess this bus is out of commission," Usagi was sad. She didn't want to walk ALL the way home.
"It's good for you. Besides, your legs are rather puny."
"Hey!" Usagi frowned.
"Yea, well, whatever," She threw her bag over her shoulder and turned to crash into a body. "What is this? Problem day?"
"Mamo-chan! Could you give me a ride home?" Usagi was heard asking as the other girls smiled charmingly at the man who could drive.
"Bleh..." But she peeked back and smiled as the man held his girl close to him. She was giggling and pressing herself happily to him, talking about food or something.
"They're a cute couple...Too bad they're not like superheroes! That'd be so much more romantic!" Mosouka sighed happily. "Well, gotta get home..."
Mosouka, once home, felt the well of exhaustion tear to pieces. But there was a very loud and annoying noise just inside her room.
"And behind door number one is..."
It flung open as a large, dark pink blob stomped out. This strange, bizarre creature of strangeness, with it's flat pushed up nose, it's wide black, beady eyes, and ears that couldn't decide to flop forward or stay upright and it's belly, low hanging due to both short limbs and well, natural fatness.
"You're a pig," Mosouka climbed over the pig with a grin.
"Can't think of any originality to that point?" the pig grunted.
"It's a classic!"
"What happened?"
"Well, Baku, you were there."
"Temporarily. Who were those other senshi?"
"Senshi?"
"People like you! People LIKE YOU!"
"There's no one like me! I go the ward at least once every three months."
Baku stubbly marched over to the overly large set of two pillows, perfectly fixed to keep the cute piggy comfortable. "You're fine! You just need to relax more!"
"Uh huh?" She was fiddling with the wall, just behind the front of the bedpost.
"And candy doesn't help!" Baku sounded exasperated as Mosouka singled out a bag of M&M's.
"Yum!" She was about to pop a handful in her mouth when a shadow passed over her.
Her father, Ryuu, blinked. "I see you've been using your allowance as school," He said dryly.
Mosouka silently held the candy out.
"I'm not going to take it. It's your responsibility to spend the money your way and if you want to waste it.."
"I save half of my allowance!" Mosouka bit out.
"Anyways, Baku has been causing some trouble around the yard. Not what he's doing but the fact that everyone else is freaked out that we have a pig.."
"Don't make me get rid of him!" Mosouka wailed.
"I'm not! He's very well behaved for a pig and he doesn't eat as much either. And besides, you two seem to get along so well. As if you could understand each other," Ryuu knelt down and patted Baku's head.
"So..uh.. why'd you come in?"
"Your doctor said that we should interact more. Apparently, he thinks you're locked inside yourself and you need to interact with others more."
"Well... I made a new friend today.." She lied. She thought it was merely a white lie and they could've been friends, if she weren't such a bitch. But she kept quiet about that last note.
"That's great! Invite your friend to dinner! Say Friday!"
"Uhh.. she might be busy..."
"With what? We'll cook us up storm! This will make your mother very happy."
'The mother card...I HATE that rouge!' She thought, grumbling. She watched her father leave after a quick kiss to the forehead.
"Well, well, well.." Baku smirked. "I didn't know THIS."
"I can't invite her over. I completely dissed her!"
"WHAT FOR?"
"SHUUU!" She grasped the snout and flinched. "You're drooling! EWWW!" She shook her hand viciously. "Disinfectant! I need disinfectant!"
"I'm not poisonous," he began.
"EW! EW! EWWWIEEE!"
Baku sighed as he plopped down on the bed. He squinted his eyes at her before falling asleep.
She took a few minutes washing both hands before she sighed. She struggled to NOT look at the mirror. It always bothered her. She wiped her hands and left the bathroom and went downstairs. She stared at the door and for a moment, could imagine it as a prison door.
"Trapped... where am I trapped!" She took a breathe but found it gasping. She held her hands to her chest and began to heave. She couldn't breathe, her body kneeling forward till she crashed.
'You're doing it again...' Baku's voice echoed. She saw him as a it, floating as a wisp.
'Why this form?' She asked suddenly and realized she was floating upside down in the blackness.
'This is who I am.. I can change if you like...'
'Last time you did that, you became me! I can't even look in the mirror because of you!'
'I'm a shape shifter. I could be anything..'
'Could you be a guy?'
'I repeat, you're doing it again.'
'DOING WHAT?' She felt desperate. 'Come on! Wake me up!'
'I can't always do this for you! You need to wake up on your own account. You want to be trapped here!'
'What kind of GUIDE are you! Lazy little...'
'Piggy?' His voice was laughing. It sounded almost like hers but it was fluid, filtering through her.
'WAKE ME UP WAKE ME UP WAKE ME WAKE ME WAKE!'
She jerked up on the couch and heard voices, loud angry tones of her parents.
"She says she getting better but she keeps fainting! Maybe a lack of iron?"
"Hell, it could be neurological!" Her father sounded so tired. In fact, both of them did.
"Why do I have such problems?" She lay back on the couch, trying to think clearly but her eyes fluttered closed as she fell into a restless sleep.
"Okay! Today I'll be nice! I'll be sweet! I'll beg for forgiveness from Aino-san!"
"Hi Mosou-chan!" Minako came barreling in and clapped the other girl's shoulders. "How are you today?"
"I...uh, fine, fine. And you?"
"Great! I heard Sailor Moon had another battle!" Minako stagewhispered.
'Is she on to me?'
"Too bad Venus wasn't there! She'd have kicked ass!" Minako bragged.
'Oh dear god! Is she...'
"Oh god! Look at me going on! As if I could ever get to know them! They're much too cool."
'Phew...'
"So..uh, you're not like mad at me?"
"For what?" The look of total clueless was intriguing to Mosouka.
"Err.. great.. uh, say, you busy on Friday?"
"Let's see.." Minako pressed her finger to her cheek thoughtfully. "I suppose I don't have any plans. No date, no life... Yep! I'm free!" Minako grinned.
"Err, great. Want to have dinner at my place?"
"This isn't like a set up, right?"
"What's a set up?" Mosouka was so intent on hearing a yes or no, she wasn't paying attention to questions.
"Sure, I'd like to go!" Minako smiled. "Um.. you seem.. to have trouble... err..."
"I don't have ADD!" She snapped before flushing. "I mean, I just lose my trail of thoughts, that's all."
"Oh... Well, let's head to class, okay?"
And they did, all the while Mosouka watched the other girl's shadows intently.
'Funny, it's just a shadow... not like the others...'