Death by Snowball
Disclaimer: all things Stargate are the property of MGM et al. (re: not me). I'm not making any money off this, just playing with the toys.
Many thanks to kimberlyfdr at lj for the beta.
John Sheppard couldn't remember the last time he'd seen this much snow. It was everywhere. And while Teyla commented on how beautiful it looked, it was a nuisance to John. Sure, snowboarding and daredevil skiing were one thing, but there had at least been a chair lift to avoid climbing through three feet of the stuff.
Okay, so there wasn't quite three feet here on M2X-438. More like one. Still, it was enough that his legs were getting cold and, every now and then, a lump of snow managed to find its way into his laced boot. Sheppard was rapidly becoming annoyed.
Then again, maybe it was Rodney's constant complaining that was finally grating on Sheppard's nerves.
"You're Canadian, for crying out loud," Sheppard had finally said, none too softly, after another grouse by McKay on the winter wonderland "You know, land of snow, ice, and the midnight sun."
McKay huffed. "While I applaud your American educational system for instilling in you a deep appreciation of cultures outside your own, Colonel, not everyone above the forty-ninth parallel lives in an igloo and wears mukluks."
"Mukluks?" Teyla lifted a brow.
"Leather and fur lined boot worn by the Inuit," McKay answered. "Not unlike Athosian boots. Quite primitive."
The 'primitive' Athosian rolled her eyes, but held her tongue.
She did smile, however, when a large ball of snow smacked Rodney in the back of the head with a satisfying thump.
McKay whirled and found a grinning Ronon, packing another ball.
"Oh, very good," McKay said sardonically. "Do you have any idea the damage that you could have caused?" He reached a gloved hand to his head and patted around. "This feels bad." He looked to Sheppard. "Can you see a bruise? There might be internal bleeding or swelling."
"Relax, Rodney," John said with a grin of his own. "It was just a snowball."
"Nothing is just a snowball, Sheppard." McKay's face fell. "Ooh, snow down the back. Down the backཀ" He jumped foot to foot and vainly attempted to pull the offending snow from his neck. He gave up a few seconds later and grimaced as the now cold water slid down his spine. "Thank-you," he glared at Ronon before removing his tablet to check for snow damage.
The Satedan broke into a grin. He eyed Sheppard while still packing a ball of white.
Sheppard cocked his head. "No. No, don't even think about it."
Ronon didn't have to, as Teyla pelted John with her own snowball.
Sheppard scrunched his eyes and wiped away the melting snow. With one hand keeping his P90 close to his chest, he hunched and scooped his own pile of snow and took off at a run at the now-scurrying Athosian.
The game was on.
00000
Half an hour later, the team was split, each person taking their own side and doing their best to avoid detection. Except McKay. Despite training and the countless missions the team had done, he still hadn't learned stealth. The scientist had been 'hit' several times, but had managed to mount a small retaliation using what Sheppard could only guess was the pinball strategy of snowball fighting - deflection, ricocheting, and very little finesse. Still, he wasn't giving up and John had to respect that perseverance.
That had been the Colonel's thought as he crept through the thick trees, noting the parallels between snowball fights and combat training. It was something to look into when they returned to Atlantis.
He pulled his army-issue woollen hat further down over his ears before glancing at his watch. Damn, missed the check-in with Elizabeth. He was going to have to think of something to tell her and the march back to the gate might give him enough time.
Sheppard tapped his earpiece. "Ronon? Teyla? McKay? Head back to the gate." He took a few steps. "And no, this isn't a ploy. We're late checking in."
"Understood, Colonel," came the woman's reply followed quickly by Ronon's.
Snow was falling in heavy flakes by the time Sheppard cleared the woods. He spotted his team-mates' tracks and noted how quickly they were disappearing in the thickening snowfall. He stepped up his pace and again tapped his earpiece. "McKay? Come in."
Nothing.
"Ronon. Teyla. You guys heard from McKay?" He brushed the snow from his eyes and nose.
"No, Colonel, we have not."
John frowned. "Where are you?"
"We are near the gate, though it is difficult to see." Teyla replied.
"Yeah, I know." Sheppard looked up, hearing the wind begin to howl. This storm was a fast one. "Dial the gate and head on through."
"What about you and Doctor McKay?" Sheppard heard the concern in Teyla's voice.
"We'll be fine." John stopped and pulled out his scanner, frowning at not seeing any other life signs on the small screen. And at how quickly it became covered with snow.
"Colonel, we will wait for you." Teyla's voice was strained against the wind.
"Negative. If this storm gets worse, you shouldn't be in it."
"But Colonel-"
"Get through the gate. That's an orderཀ" John looked around, attempting to get his bearings, but not succeeding. He was outside the woods, maybe a click from the gate. Maybe. "Don't worry. I'll get McKay and be right behind you."
Sheppard couldn't hear a response over the wind. He could only assume that they would follow his order and get to safety.
"McKay?" Sheppard called again through his radio. Dammit, if this was a joke...
00000
Moving back to Atlantis after the Replicator take-over had been akin to starting over. Sure, the little nanites had done a great job of repairing the damage Sheppard and the others had caused, but it did little to ease the anxiety of the expedition. Atlantis had been their home for nearly three years and to have lost it so easily was discomforting.
That had been one of the reasons Elizabeth had given for going through the Ancients' database and scouting every possible planet they could. She didn't want future surprises.
John couldn't blame her. He knew she had taken much of the fall for allying with the Wraith, despite the IOA's approval. It had shaken her as a leader, made her question her decisions. Losing the city, even to the Ancients, seemed to confirm to her that maybe she wasn't the right woman for the job.
Sheppard knew otherwise and was determined to prove to her just how right she was.
That gave him small comfort now as the snow and wind made seeing anything more than a foot in front of him nearly impossible.
He squinted at the scanner in his right hand while he flexed the fingers in his left, trying to keep the blood flowing. He could barely feel his toes and wished for the hundredth time that they hadn't played the stupid snowball fight and had just done the simple recon mission.
Sheppard tapped his earpiece through the wool of his hat. "McKay, respond." He stopped. "McKayཀ Rodneyཀ" He shook his head and continued on, hearing the wind through the trees to know that he was back near the woods.
The whiteness of the landscape made him as blind as any darkness and he hated it.
The forest had offered some protection, albeit tiny, from the snowstorm, at least enough for the Colonel to see more of where he was going. He checked his scanner again and nearly shouted out at seeing another dot appear on the top edge of the monitor. Either that was McKay or the abominable snowman.
Flashes of a Bugs Bunny cartoon and a Himalayan snow creature who named his pet George crossed the Colonel's mind, making him chuckle. Shaking the thought away, Sheppard re-focused his energy
Sprinting through the dense wood, Sheppard snagged an unseen fallen branch and nearly toppled. He slowed his pace until his dot was nearly on top of the second dot. He scanned the area through slitted eyes. "McKayཀ" he shouted over the wind.
Shit. This was bad.
The Colonel looked at the ground, hoping to find something out of place and, at the same time, hoping that he wouldn't. To his left, he saw that the ground gave way to a ravine, not overly deep, but deep enough for someone not expecting it.
Like McKay.
Fuck. This was worse.
Peering over, Sheppard's eyes widened as he saw a human outline nearly buried in the snow. Jumping down, he skidded next to it and quickly brushed away the snow with a gloved hand. "Rodney. Come on, buddy." He saw lips and a nose. Ripping off his gloves, John removed the last bits of cold from Rodney's face and checked his vitals. He thanked whatever deity may be listening that there was life.
Moving the scientist was a risk. The soldier in John knew that even a fall of only a few feet could do serious back and neck damage; moving him may make it permanent. But there really wasn't a choice.
Checking the area, Sheppard spotted what looked to be a rocky overhang, barely visible in the snowstorm. At the moment, it seemed better than nothing.
Breathing deeply, John grabbed Rodney's arm and lifted him enough to grab around Rodney's waist. Grunting, Sheppard lifted McKay over his shoulder and stood as best as he could.
The walk to the overhang was slow and John stumbled more than once, but they made it. Luck was with them as the overhang protected a small cave. Very small, but at least it was out of the elements.
Carefully laying McKay down, Sheppard set about getting them as comfortable as possible. He tugged his pack off and dumped the contents. He unfurled the thermal blanket over Rodney, hoping that the Canadian's clothes weren't wet underneath the parka. John set aside the matches and fire starter package, pocketed four power bars, and grabbed the collapsible mug. He quickly went back out and scooped snow into the mug, setting it aside. Once he got a fire going, both would need water.
Fire would be the real trick. The snow would make any kindling wet and Sheppard wasn't sure how long he would have to dry it out. The small candles were not likely to do the job. Still, he lit them and tried to push them out of the wind's path as much as he could. Pulling his flashlight from the tac vest under his parka, he surveyed the cave, hoping for something to burn. Bits of moss and leaves littered the area; flammable, yes, but they would burn too quickly.
Okay, fire was going to have to wait. Check on McKay and ascertain his injuries.
Steeling himself, Sheppard looked to his friend.
McKay was shivering and his face was wet. Sheppard wiped it with the small cloth from his pack. He could see the paleness of McKay's skin. Not a good sign. Could be shock. Could be a concussion. Could be both.
That Rodney was unconscious wasn't helping matters.
Moving to McKay's head, Sheppard brought his flashlight across his teammate. The shivering had slowed, at least. Sheppard lifted a closed eyelid, flashed his light, and was relieved to see the pupils shrink, if a little slowly.
Continuing his examination, Sheppard noted the dried blood to the right side and back of McKay's head. He carefully turned Rodney's head and could see the gash. It no longer bled, but looked deep. Resting McKay's head back down, the Colonel pulled out the smaller emergency tourniquet and wrapped it around the wound.
Pulling back the blanket and unzipping McKay's parka, the Colonel could find no other obvious signs of injuries. No blood seemed to be oozing or spurting. McKay's shoulders didn't appear to be dislocated and his arms felt okay when Sheppard awkwardly pulled them from their sleeves and ran his hands down them.
John folded Rodney's arms across his chest, covered them with the parka, and continued his examination.
Crap. Rodney's leg was broken. And quite spectacularly, too.
Good thing Sheppard wasn't squeamish about these things, otherwise he would never have been able to even look at the bone protruding from the skin. At least the break appeared clean. But Rodney was going to be in a heap of pain when he woke up. It needed to be set, but if he did it the wrong way then Carson would have to re-do it and John would never hear the end of it from McKay.
With military efficiency, Sheppard pulled out the larger of the two tourniquet dressings from the dumped pack contents, along with a tiny bottle of iodine. The broken skin was apparently not bleeding and John wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. Carefully pouring the liquid onto the gauze, he barely began to gently rub around the skin when McKay screamed louder than he thought possible, startling him.
"Damn," John cursed before looking to McKay. "Glad you're awake. Nice to have some company."
Rodney's eyes were wide with panic. "What...?" He turned at John's voice. "Oh God."
"How do you feel?" Sheppard asked.
McKay squeezed his eyes shut. "Hurts," he managed to say.
"Yeah, I know." The Colonel looked to the scientist's leg. "It's gonna hurt even worse if I don't tie this up." He glanced to Rodney. "You okay with this?"
McKay hitched a breath. "No."
Sheppard readied himself. "Try to think of something nice." Nice? He blinked hard then set the tourniquet on McKay's leg. Seemed okay. Eying his patient before continuing, he carefully pulled up on McKay's pant leg.
He never knew just how 'little girl' McKay's scream could be.
He very quickly wrapped the strips twice around the wound, tied it as tight as he thought Rodney could handle, and gently lowered Rodney's leg to the ground. "How you doing there, McKay?" He tugged the parka down and flipped the blanket back on. "McKay?"
"Peachy," a hoarse whisper answered above the wind.
Sheppard slid back up to Rodney's head. "Just try to get some rest."
McKay didn't protest and Sheppard used the silent time to take stock of their situation.
First, they were alive. Always a good thing in John's book.
Second, they were in a blizzard and unable to get to the gate. Okay, maybe Elizabeth sent a team to find them. No, that would be stupid as it would put more people in jeopardy. Puddlejumper? Perhaps Lorne could do it, but the wind would make flying extremely difficult. No, they were on their own until the storm passed.
Third, Rodney was injured, but didn't appear to be dying. Unless he had internal injuries. John shook his head. Spending too much time with McKay, always thinking the worst.
Fourth, they had water and food and shelter. Another one for the 'good' column.
Fifth, the storm couldn't last forever. Alright, a weak 'good', but Sheppard would take what he could get.
He crawled to the entrance of the cave and looked out past the overhang. The storm didn't appear to be letting up anytime soon. He took one more chance that his radio would find someone on the other end; it didn't.
Still, it could be worse.
00000
McKay's thrashing arm brought Sheppard out of a light doze.
"Hey, hey. Easy," John soothed, grasping an arm. "Just relax."
"What's...where...?" Rodney looked to John.
"We're waiting out a storm. Don't worry." He flashed a grin.
McKay's fast breathing slowed a little. "Storm?"
Sheppard felt McKay's arm tense in his hand. "Just a little snowstorm. Nothing to concern yourself with. We'll be home before you know it."
Rodney's eyes surveyed the dimly lit surroundings. "Cave?"
"Yeah."
"Oh." He attempted to pull himself up, but cried out when he moved his leg.
Sheppard steadied McKay. "Careful. You don't want to be aggravating that injury."
"Shit," Rodney cursed softly. "What else is wrong?" His words were slow and a little slurred. The pain did seem to focus him a little more, though.
"Just the usual – possible concussion, seemingly no way out until we get rescued."
Rodney chuffed. "Funny man." He shifted and felt a tidal wave of pain from his leg. "Morphine?"
Sheppard shook his head. "Sorry. Maybe some aspirin." He skimmed through his gear contents and found a four pack of pills. He handed two over and the mug of snow that had now gone slushy sitting near the candles. Rodney downed the pills and lay back.
"So we're stuck?" Rodney asked softly.
"Looks like." The wind filled the silence between the two men.
"This is your fault, you know," McKay said, his voice faltering a little.
"How is it my fault that you fell down a ravine?"
Rodney glared. "Please." His indignant tone was lost in a wave of pain from his broken leg. He made a face until it passed. "Your juvenile snowball fight."
"Hey, that was all of us being juvenile." Sheppard pointed a finger. "You're just mad because you lost."
"Ha!" McKay barked. "I never lost. Just..." He shut his eyes.
"McKay?" John bent forward. "Rodney?"
"Shut up. I need to sleep," he murmured in reply.
Sheppard pulled the blanket up to McKay's neck and felt his forehead once again.
"Yes, I still have a fever," McKay chastised quietly. "Just leave me alone."
"Sure. Yeah." John leaned back, touching the cave wall and pulled his arms across his chest. This storm had better end quick.
00000
Elizabeth looked to Teyla and Ronon. "Where are John and Rodney?"
Ronon narrowed his eyes as Teyla answered. "Colonel Sheppard instructed us to go through the 'gate. He went in search of Doctor McKay."
Weir's brows furrowed. "What happened?"
Teyla chose her words. "We lost track of Doctor McKay during the mission. A snowstorm came upon us very quickly." She saw no need to explain exactly how they had lost track of the scientist.
"We need to find them," Ronon finally said.
"Snowstorm?" Elizabeth thought a moment. "How bad of a snowstorm?"
"We were barely able to find the 'gate, yet we were not far from it. The snow is quite heavy and the winds are strong."
"Doesn't matter. I'm going back." Ronon faced Weir.
"Let me send a MALP to get an idea of what it's like."
The Satedan was set to argue until Teyla rested a hand on his arm. "We are of no use to the Colonel or Doctor McKay if the storm is still on. We would be effectively blind."
Ronon grunted.
The MALP was quickly brought in and the 'gate dialed. Elizabeth rubbed her arms as though she could feel the cold from the planet. Be alright, John. You, too, Rodney. She headed up the steps to the control room and waited.
It wasn't long until data was sent back from M2X-438. Elizabeth looked down from the monitor showing the MALP's visuals and environmental statistics. There was nothing but white and an occasional crack of lightning. Temperatures were well into the minus figures and windchills were high. She momentarily thought of sending a rescue team, but the charged atmosphere made all sensors useless and she doubted that even Sheppard would have been able to navigate a jumper through the wind. Teyla had been right in telling Ronon that anyone would be blind in that situation.
Teyla saw Elizabeth's distress. "Colonel Sheppard is a fighter. We have seen this many times." She ventured a light smile, as much for herself as the expedition leader.
Weir nodded. "I know. I just feel like we're abandoning them."
"We are not," Teyla said firmly. "I believe that even the Colonel would agree that sending others to rescue them would be foolish."
Elizabeth breathed to calm herself. "Chuck?" She faced the tech. "Leave the MALP at the site, but I want hourly reports on the status of the storm."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Teyla, Ronon." Weir faced the pair. "I know I don't have to say this, but..."
"We will be ready, Elizabeth."
Weir squeezed the Athosian's shoulder. "Thank-you."
00000
Sheppard blinked, then waited. The low rumble permeated through the wind. Lightning was getting closer. Pink tendrils flitted across the sky, giving the whiteness a momentary burst of colour.
Lightning in a snowstorm. How cool was that?
It had given Sheppard something to look at between checking in on Rodney. He glanced over his shoulder and saw McKay still sleeping. At least, he hoped it was sleeping. The man's breathing was regular, but his skin was still too warm.
The Colonel had tried during the last two hours to get McKay to drink some water, but the scientist had pushed it away before crying out as his leg was jostled.
"I see you're taking your nursing duties to heart," McKay rasped.
John scooted over to Rodney. "You ready to drink something?"
McKay nodded and gratefully took the offered cup. "Freezing to death here and the man gives me ice water."
"If you don't want it..." Sheppard pulled the mug away.
"Asshole," Rodney whispered. He grimaced. "Any aspirins left?" Hopeful blue eyes looked to Sheppard.
"We need to ration them." Sheppard set down the mug and sat cross-legged. "We could be here a while."
"You should check for infection." McKay pointed to his leg. "Or at the very least for frostbite."
The Colonel nodded, not really sure what he could do even if he found anything amiss. Standard pack equipment did not include antibiotics. Carson might have a thing to say on that afterward.
Sheppard pushed away the blanket, pausing only when McKay hissed at the cold air hitting his hot skin. There didn't appear to be any bleeding from the leg wound and he hoped that was a good sign, not one that McKay's circulation was compromised and there was no blood to leak out. "Can you wiggle your toes?"
"Hello? Broken leg," Rodney wheezed. "Movement equals pain equals bad."
John replaced the blanket then looked outside. The sky was darkening. Once the sun set, the temperatures were going to drop further. And the storm didn't appear to letting go anytime soon.
He looked back to Rodney. "Looks like we're camping out tonight." He shuffled over. "Rodney?" He rested a hand on McKay's head once again. Geez, wasn't there something else he could do? It did feel a little less hot.
Sheppard rubbed his hands over the small candles, wishing he could feel some heat from it.
It was only one night. They could survive that. Hell, he'd survived far worse - like being nearly sucked dead by a Wraith - and come out smiling. It was just who he was; don't leave a man behind and don't give up. His people would find them. They would go home and in a few weeks, they would joke about it, laughing over the snowball fight.
The Colonel chuckled over the absurdity of it all.
00000
At some point in the night, Sheppard had found himself to be too cold to keep watch, so he moved further into the cave until he found himself huddling next to McKay. Biting his lip, he swore that if McKay ever told anyone about this that he would make sure no one would find his body, Sheppard slipped under the blanket. It hadn't been easy as it was Rodney's left leg that had been broken and that was the side John now lay next to.
Flipping onto his side, back to Rodney, Sheppard allowed himself to relax. Unholstering his sidearm and placing it next to his head also helped. Not long after, the Colonel fell into a light sleep.
A sleep that McKay seemed intent on not letting him enjoy.
00000
It amazed the Colonel that for someone who complained about everything, and especially about the importance of proper posture and sleeping position, McKay was more than capable of sleeping pretty much anywhere. There had been more than one morning meeting where McKay was rubbing away keyboard indentations from where his head at landed after finally falling asleep.
So he shouldn't have been surprised that McKay was able to fall into a dream sleep given the cold, noise, and general unpleasantness they found themselves in.
Heavy breathing and mutterings woke Sheppard. He stiffly turned his neck and noted that the thermal blanket was now at his waist and almost completely off McKay. He reached down to pull it back up, but McKay's hand suddenly burst forth and bopped him in the nose. Sheppard muffled a cry and gingerly touched his nose. It was tender, but not broken.
Reaching again, the Colonel dragged the blanket up to McKay's neck who promptly shoved it down. Sheppard sighed and repeated the process, as did Rodney.
Okay, this game is not going to work.
"McKay?" Sheppard called softly. "McKay."
"Uh..."
Sheppard was more forceful. "Rodney, wake up."
"Don't wanna...dad..."
The Colonel frowned. "I'm not your damn father."
"Just not good at it...can't be what you want." Rodney thrashed a bit before the pain in his leg woke him. "Fuck!" His head lifted off the cave floor. He gazed around him in the glow of the remaining candle. "Where?"
"We're still in the cave," John answered. "It's night time."
"Oh." He faced Sheppard. "Uh, hi." He eyed the close proximity.
"Don't get all freaked out," Sheppard responded. "It's cold and I'm trying to keep warm. So go back to sleep and try not to hit me anymore." He yanked the blanket back up and hunched down on his side again.
There was silence a few moments before Rodney said "I hit you?"
"No big deal. You were just dreaming."
"Okay. Uh, sorry, about the hitting."
Silence.
"Could I have some more water?"
The Colonel counted to ten. Rodney's sick. He needs your help, John. Be the bigger man. "Sure." He threw the blanket off and found the mug, filled it with snow, and shoved it at McKay. Okay, so his bedside manner wasn't great. He wasn't the only one with that problem.
McKay eyed the mug suspiciously. "Did you do a toxicology check of the contents of the snow? There could be unknown bacteria that could play havoc with my immune-" He shut up at seeing the dark glare Sheppard was giving. "Thanks," McKay said meekly then gulped a couple of mouthfuls of snow. He settled back and shut his eyes.
Sheppard took away the mug and went back under the blanket.
"Oh God!" Rodney burst out.
"What?" Sheppard didn't turn around.
McKay looked to the Colonel. "I'm going to die! I'm going to freeze to death..." he looked to Sheppard's toque covered head, "in the embrace of another man."
"Go to sleep, Rodney."
"Who can sleep? This is bad. Very, very bad."
"No, it's not." John flipped onto his back and turned his head to look at Rodney. "It'll be morning soon. I'll get to the gate, dial in, and the rescue will begin. Just...try to sleep." At least McKay's fever seemed to have calmed. He was talking more coherently and in truer Rodney 'death is all around us' fashion.
McKay glared as best he could in the darkness. "I noticed that you didn't comment on the 'embrace of another man' part."
Sheppard only rolled over and hunched under the blanket.
Rodney looked about the tiny cave with a worried expression. "How safe is this cave? Is there a likelihood of collapse? What about the weight of the snow? Can we be sure-"
"McKay," Sheppard interrupted.
"Uh...yes?"
"Trust me on this. You are not going to die. Have I ever let you down before?"
"No."
"There you go. Now get some sleep. More importantly, let me get some sleep."
00000
The murmurings started out softly, but rose until finally Rodney's voice was echoing loudly in the small enclosure, pulling Sheppard out of his own light sleep.
Rodney gasped loudly, waking himself. He hissed an "Oww!" at the inadvertent shift of his broken leg.
"What time is it?" McKay asked, eyes shut and face contorted, though Sheppard wasn't sure how much was the weak light reflecting off the scientist's face or was the memory of the dream or was his injured leg.
"About 3 am," John answered. He had shifted to a sitting position when McKay had first started dreaming, hoping to avoid another whack in the nose.
"Guess it's official now," Rodney said softly.
"What is?"
"It's my birthday," McKay breathed.
Sheppard considered this. "Well, happy birthday. So I guess that makes you-"
"Old."
"Hey, it's not that old," John soothed. "Forty is the new thirty."
"Easy for you to say," Rodney countered. "You act like your fifteen most of the time. Plus, you get all the sexy alien babes." He paused. "And you've still got all your hair."
The Colonel chuckled.
"It's not funny, Sheppard." McKay breathed in.
"Sure it is."
They said nothing for a long moment until John ventured casually, "You want to talk about it?"
"Not really. No." McKay brought an arm up and laid it across the blanket. "It's just that there's so much I haven't done with my life."
The Colonel rolled his eyes. So much for not talking about it.
"Things I haven't discovered or won prizes for."
"You're in another galaxy," Sheppard put in. "That's pretty much outside of most peoples' 'life to do list'."
"Yes, well, I'm not most people, am I?" McKay shifted his shoulders. "I just thought that I'd have my Nobel prize by now."
"At forty? Come on, McKay. That's a little presumptuous even for you." Sheppard examined the dying candle. Not much light left.
"I've always done things well before the norm," McKay continued. "Got my first Ph.D by the time I was twenty. Developed a working simulation of cold fusion by twenty-two."
"And was out of diapers at twenty-three," Sheppard joked.
"Ha-ha."
They fell into silence and Sheppard was nearly asleep when McKay once again interrupted. "You'll tell Jeannie, right?"
"Tell her what?" Sheppard asked, eyes closed.
"About how I died?"
"Rodney, you are not going to die." At least from the snow. I might shoot you first.
"No, of course not. But if I do-"
"McKay," the Colonel warned.
Rodney lifted himself onto his elbows to emphasize his point. "All I'm saying is that if something should happen, that you'll go see her. Tell her." He pinched his face over the pain of his broken leg.
John sighed uncomfortably before opening his eyes. "I won't have to tell her anything for a very long time."
"Don't be naive, Colonel. Anything and everything seems to happen to us. So you'll forgive me if I'm a little paranoid." McKay swallowed. "Tell her...that I'm proud of her for doing what she believed in. Even if it was stupid and short-sighted." He stopped. "But not that last part." Beat. "I'm glad she found happiness. Got married and all that." He huffed. "Look, can you just say that you'll do this for me?"
Sheppard cringed. The way Rodney was carrying on it seemed like they were at death's door. "If I say yes, will you stop talking and go to sleep?"
"Yes."
"Then yeah, I'll tell her."
Rodney nodded and thought a moment. "Good." He laid back down. He quickly turned his head. "You only agreed just to get me to shut up, didn't you?"
"Sleep. Now."
00000
When Sheppard next woke, it was to relative silence. He popped one eye and then the other, smiling at the pale, morning light. Finally, the storm seemed to be over. He cracked his neck and stiffly moved forward, crawling out the entrance.
If he wasn't so cold and a bit hungry, the Colonel would have stopped to appreciate the scene before him a little more. The snow hung in huge chunks off the branches of the thick forest, with windswept snow dunes cresting the edges of the ravine. Sheppard looked to the sky and noted that it was still ominous. Seemed that the storm was just in a lull. Best to take advantage while he still could.
"McKay?" he called, re-entering the cave. "Hey, McKay?"
"Mmm, what?" the scientist croaked, licking his dry lips.
"It's cleared off. I'm going to the 'gate." He knelt next to Rodney. "Shouldn't be more than an hour." Assuming his estimate of the 'gate's distance was correct. Likely was. Probably.
"What?" Rodney was wide-eyed. "You're going to leave me here? Alone?" He began to breathe heavily. "I should come with you."
"No, you shouldn't." Sheppard examined Rodney's leg once more, satisfied that it hadn't been frostbitten or started to bleed. "Your leg's in no condition for walking." He pulled a power bar from his coat pocket and handed it to McKay.
"But what if you get lost? What if you fall into a crevasse? Things like that happen, you know. Some idiot goes out exploring and they don't find his body until the spring thaw. Then where will that leave me? Just a pretty corpse in a cave, that's where." McKay was in full-blown panic mode.
"Easy, Rodney." The Colonel patted McKay's good leg. "The weather's good, so I'm sure that Elizabeth has already sent a team or jumper through. They just need to find us and if I'm out there telling them the way, then you'll be back home that much sooner." He flashed the Sheppard grin. "Don't worry."
"Strangely, that doesn't give the reassurances that one might think." He gulped. "Remember that if you die then you'll have killed me, too."
Sheppard scowled then handed Rodney the last of the aspirin and a cup of water. "An hour. Tops."
Then he was gone and Rodney really did begin to worry.
00000
Once the Colonel had made his way back up the ravine, it was relatively easy navigating through the woods. The weather had cleared enough that he could see the edge of the forest and then out to the pasture. As he thought, the 'gate wasn't overly far.
Lorne told him as much as the jumper landed not too far from where Sheppard stood.
"Hope I didn't get you up too early, Major," Sheppard said.
"No, sir," Major Lorne responded. "Just part of the daily routine."
"Colonel!" Teyla called, exiting the jumper. She smiled broadly before scanning the area. "Where is Doctor McKay?" Ronon was there now, as well.
Lorne handed the Colonel a thermos of hot coffee. "Thought you might need this, sir."
Sheppard gratefully took the proffered drink, not even wincing as the liquid burned his tongue. "Rodney had a bit of an accident," Sheppard answered, taking another swig of coffee before replacing the top. "Better get the board," he instructed Lorne, "and another blanket."
Teyla's expression fell. "He is not all right?"
"Busted leg."
Ronon smirked. "I'll bet he kept you up half the night complaining about it."
John rolled his eyes. "You know McKay."
A lieutenant jogged over. "We're ready, sir." He clutched the victim board tightly.
Shortly afterwards, the rescue team was traversing the small ravine. Sheppard couldn't help but smile at McKay's relieved expression.
"Well, it's about time!" the scientist spat. "Dying man here. What took you so long?" He snapped his fingers. "Oh, easy with that, junior. And where's Carson? They only sent this glorified lifeguard to do major medical work?"
The rant continued as the lieutenant and Ronon eased McKay onto the board and out of the cave. Teyla continued to give knowing glances to Sheppard as she walked in step with the now immobilized McKay. "You are very lucky that Colonel Sheppard found you, Doctor McKay." The woman glanced to the sky and the return of the snow.
"Hmm?" Rodney stopped fiddling with the bandage around his head. "Yes, I suppose so. But his medical knowledge was sorely lacking. I mean, honestly, the man has no sense of pain tolerance. Constantly moving and jostling my leg. He could have done further damage. I may have frostbite!" He snapped his fingers. "You! Hurry up!"
"You should be more grateful, McKay," Ronon rumbled, his head bent looking down at Rodney as he carried the scientist. He shifted his grip, slightly tilting the board and throwing Rodney into a panic.
"Be careful, Conan! You could have dropped me." He stopped at Ronon's glare.
Sheppard walked behind, oblivious to the events around him as he balled up a glove full of snow.
00000
The infirmary was quiet as Sheppard made his way in. Pushing back the curtain to the recovery area, he spotted Elizabeth sitting with Rodney. He stepped back, but the movement caught Elizabeth's eye.
"John," Weir called. She looked back to Rodney and rose. "Bit late, isn't it?"
"For you, too." He nodded towards McKay. "How is he?"
"Sleeping, for now. Apparently Carson had to drug him after surgery because of the constant complaining." She lifted a brow and crossed her arms over her chest. "How are you?"
Weir's concerned eyes bore into John and he shrugged the feeling away. "Fine."
She wasn't fooled. "It couldn't have been easy for you. Being alone and cold like that had to have been difficult."
"Hey, I've been through worse." A warmer desert and a more injured friend flashed through his mind.
Weir nodded. "If you want to talk..."
"I'll be sure to let you know," Sheppard finished. He glanced over her shoulder at McKay before giving a quick nod. "I'll see you at tomorrow's meeting." Giving a small grin, he left the room.
00000
"Oww!" Rodney burst out. "You do understand the concept of 'patient', as in someone needing comfort and a definite avoidance of pain? Did they not teach you that at Nursing School for Dummies?"
"Rodney," Carson's voice warned, "be nice to Nurse Henricks." He examined the monitor showing McKay's bio-readout. "How are you feeling this morning?"
McKay cradled his arm, paying careful attention to the small bandage covering where Henricks had taken some blood. "I'd be better if you had some decent medical staff. Honestly, I've seen Wraith feedings that were gentler."
"Nurse Henricks is quite capable," Carson admonished, now facing McKay. He pulled Rodney's head around to examine the stitches. "That's healing up nicely. How's your leg feel?"
"Like it's broken." Rodney gestured to his left leg. "Did you have to make the cast go so far up?"
"Aye, Rodney, I did. So best get used to it." Beckett did a quick visual check of the plaster, satisfied that it was doing its job. "You'll be in bed the better part of two weeks." He picked up a chart and flipped some paper. "Three if you keep annoying my staff."
McKay looked indignant. "I am not annoying them, merely pointing out their lack of medical knowledge and beside manner."
Carson put down the chart. "Seriously, Rodney, is there anything I can get or do for you?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact, there is."
00000
It was a full two minutes before McKay noticed the Colonel standing at the end of the bed. "Colonel? When did you...?"
Sheppard cocked an eye at the tablet across McKay's lap, sitting at an awkward angle because of his propped up leg and cast. "Interesting reading?"
"No, actually," Rodney answered with a heavy sigh. "Simmons has screwed up another analysis and Zelenka under-estimated the power requirements for a delicate project I've been working on." He pushed the tablet aside. "And I swear that Carson's painkiller concoction is making me lose braincells."
Sheppard gave a wry smile.
Rodney cleared his throat. "Actually, I'm glad you're here. There's something I wanted to say." He fell silent a moment. "I just wanted to, you know..." He tapped the mattress nervously.
"You're welcome." Sheppard brought a seat over and slouched into it.
McKay faced his friend, his shoulders visibly relaxing. "There's something else, actually," he continued after a moment. Taking a deep breath, he carried on. "About what I said, back on M2X-438. You can just forget all that self-indulgent drivel."
The Colonel's eyebrows shot up. "Self-indulgent? You?"
"It was the drugs," McKay protested. "They play havoc with the mind. Carson really should check into what goes into those pills you gave me. Made me say all kinds of strange things."
"They were aspirins, McKay," Sheppard said with a smile.
The Canadian waved an indifferent hand. "Whatever. The point is, it was death talking. Imminent, freezing death. So just forget everything I said."
"Oops." Sheppard frowned.
"What oops? What does that mean? Oops?"
"I already sent an e-mail to Jeannie, telling her that you were an ass for having ignored her for so long, that it really was your fault. It was quite poetic and emotional. Too bad you didn't get a chance to read it."
Rodney was turning red. "I told you to tell her only after I died. You do understand what 'after' means, don't..." He glowered. "Again with the humour. Maybe you should give up your day job and become a professional comedian so then I won't have to listen to your lame and pathetic attempts to use me as your funny fall guy."
"Naw, this is way more cool." The Colonel stood at seeing Teyla and Ronon.
"Rodney," Teyla said warmly, "you are looking much better." She laid a light hand on the scientist's arm.
"Still pale," Ronon added. He pulled a small bag from behind him and tossed it at McKay. "Here."
Teyla gave the Satedan a chastising look, but the man ignored it.
"What's this?" Rodney lifted the bag, staring at his friends now surrounding the bed.
"A gift," John answered.
Rodney shot his head toward Sheppard. "You told them!"
Sheppard smirked. "You didn't think I'd forget about that 'old' comment, did you?"
"Did I miss it?" Elizabeth came up between Teyla and Ronon.
The Athosian shook her head. "Not yet."
Ronon crossed his arms over his chest. "Not ever if he keeps this up."
McKay pointed a finger at Weir. "Her, too?" He leaned back into the pillows of his bed.
"Just open the damn present," John instructed.
"Right." As McKay opened the bag and marveled at the gift inside, Sheppard looked to the assembled group and couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment. This was his home. This was his family.
"Och, tell me I didn't miss..."
Sheppard shook his head lightly and smiled. Yep, this was his family.
End