I don't own Bleach.
A/N: Wow… I REALLY have too much of a muse for this series. Ah well.
Here it is, my second Ichigo/Karin sibling fic (no, not like that, you sick freaks)
Need
It's raining like crazy today.
It rained the day before and the day before that, but this morning the sun was shining so I came without an umbrella. My coat's too short, so unless I want to get half soaked, I'm stranded.
Figures, really.
Today's June 16th, you see? It'd be kind of weird if it kept sunny.
–
My name's Kurosaki Karin, age 11, elementary school student. I live in Karakura town with my crazed father, frowning older brother and completely unlike me twin sister. I can see ghosts though I don't believe in them.
Yuzu's jealous of that ability, but I know better.
Just looking at the hard time being a High Spec gives Ichi-nii is enough to make me want to close my eyes and shut my ears, but I guess that's just the difference between Yuzu, me and Ichi-nii.
We have similarities too, though, you know. Days like this tend to bring them out more.
–
You see, all three of us hate the rain.
–
Yuzu excuses it with making the house chores much harder, though it's hardly a credible excuse when she continually refuses any offers we make to help her.
The house chores are her duty, she says proudly while running around in mom's old apron, trying to take care of all of us on her own. She'll probably get pissed as hell if she finds out how much Ichi-nii and I do when she's not looking, but we usually lay off of her during the rainy season.
For her sake, really.
–
Me, I dislike almost everything about the rain. It's cold when it rains, and dark. You can hardly leave the house let alone do things like play soccer because everything's wet. You can't sleep at night because of the thunders, and there are constant blackouts, as though to mock us pathetic humans for ever trying to resist the lack of light the season imposes on us. People get sick real easily, too, and it gets lonely whether you're home alone, or have to see that none of your friends are at school because they all came down with a cold. I guess it's the season, but you don't see all that when it snows, for instance. Snow's different. Snow's white and soft and fun. Rain, rain's bad.
–
I can't even begin to count the reasons Ichi-nii probably has to hating the rain.
–
School ended over two hours ago; the rain hadn't let up since. Like I said, I can't go home. All of my friends – the few who weren't bed-ridden – had left already.
The better ones divided into those who offered to stay with me, and those who offered from a spare umbrella to a lift in their parents' cars. It's not that I didn't appreciate it or anything; it's not that I don't trust these people - at least one of them I count as one of my best friends. I just don't feel like hearing anything but the rain at the moment.
Ah, the irony this time of the year brings.
Figures.
The school itself is too scary to stay in, so all I have left to do is wait on the stairs for the rain to calm down. Usually, I'd have at least had Yuzu here, but as she came down with a cold, dad put a Doctor's Stop on her. We had to pretty much bury her in blankets and tie her to the bed to keep her from coming to school, or even do house works.
One stern look from Ichi-nii, however, and she kept still like a good little girl.
He has that affect on her, and, I guess, also on me.
You know how it is with people who've been hurt, right?
After they lost something, in particular.
They become needy, clingy even.
We're all textbook cases of that, no matter how you slice it.
Dad's needy by acting as though nothing happened; he needs to think the rest of us think nothing happened; make pretending easier for him.
Yuzu's a complicated one, but she tries to drown it out by taking so much on herself. If everything's ok, the house chores get done, we eat the food we used to eat, then isn't that the same as it always had been? Some people would say I'm thinking about it too much. Whatever.
She still needs a distraction, whatever the case might be. Fine by me, doesn't change the fact she still needs a cover for reality. I don't blame her or anything; if anything, I'm jealous. She's so strong, actually. Completely unlike me.
After mom died, dad still laughed almost obnoxiously, Yuzu did something with herself. Me? All I could do was stop crying… but maybe that was more selfish than I can afford to admit.
Bottom line, I need dad and his stupid jokes and annoying attitude.
I'll probably break apart if Yuzu hadn't taken care of everything the way she does.
–
And Ichi-nii?
–
He needs Yuzu to dote over him and to need him to dote over her in return.
He needs dad to tell him it's not his fault, even if in the form of an attempted homicide which backfires time and again, because telling him it's not his fault also reminds dad it's also not his.
He needs me… because I need him.
Ichi-nii, I guess, needs to be needed.
Like he is right now, I reckon as I notice a figure approaching the school under a big umbrella.
Even in the gray everything seems to be today, his orange hair's standing out almost ridiculously and I don't need any farther indication of who it is or why he's here.
"You're late", I say and manage to catch the half-smile that crossed his lips for an instance before he puts back that mask of a frown. He doesn't need to be smiling, see; if he'd smile he might be seen as weak. We don't mind, but he can't afford to give us a reason not to need him. That's the last thing he needs.
So I ignore that smile of his and just sound my usual somewhat bratty self. He doesn't hold back and humphs at me.
"And who's to blame that I had to come out here at all? I should just leave you here and go back."
He doesn't mean that. We both know that, and know that the other knows as well. Doesn't matter much to us.
"Then you came all the way here for nothing?"
"Maybe."
He bluntly replies and throws my coat's extension at me. It's a cool coat that has the lower part removable, see? Ichi-nii bought it for me.
I hurry to get ready, and he silently watches over me and I quickly open the umbrella he brought me and we start on home.
"Tomorrow's that day again." I point out the elephant in the room after a while, but he doesn't react. He's as solemn as he gets.
"Ah."
–
I can't see his eyes anymore. Once, when he was shorter, younger and happier, I didn't even have to look that far up to see his eyes. Now, however, look high as I can, I can't see his eyes unless he looks down at me.
He grew big and strong over the years, but one thing hasn't changed after all; I know it when I take a hold of his big, strong, warm and gentle hand, catching him by surprise.
Don't look at me like that, it's your fault I can't see your eyes! Maybe it's for the better, though; I don't think I could've handled seeing them any differently than I remember them, those big, warm, gentle brown eyes…
"Ichi… nii?"
I don't think he'd show them to me even if they were still the same though. Like how he rarely ever smiles anymore.
"Hm?"
I know, though… I can feel it; the way he's looking at me right now, making me feel like there's an aura of protection around me, keeping me from the rain and the cold.
"I…"
He's the same. He's just gotten a bit stronger, is all.
He had to.
"Thank you" I finally utter and hold his hand as tightly as I can. He comes to a stop and I can't even look at him.
"You…" He starts, but before long he picks me up with amazing ease and just stares at me.
"… really are a kid, aren't you?"
Before I have a try at a comeback, he throws me on his back and I hold on to his neck only a tad too tightly from shock.
"I get wet and I drop you, got it?"
Without even waiting for a reply he dashed forward, hopping over puddles. We were going so fast it seemed we were going in between the raindrops, but I still did my best to keep us both under the umbrella.
I don't remember when we started laughing, or even who started it, but before I knew it the two of us were laughing as hard as we could, taking the oddest detours his legs could lead us through. Neither of us minded, though. We had no school the next day, after all.
"And I'm the kid here, huh!" I dared when he started hiccupping from laughing too hard.
"Ah. You sure are."
And I let that slide, because of the shadow of a smile I managed to see on his face and in his eyes and I know better than to think it was because he forgot what tomorrow was.
It was despite it.
So because of that, I let him off the hook. I let him laugh, and I did too, because we felt like it, running like this, probably getting lost on purpose; because we needed it, today of all days, because comes tomorrow, and the day after that, but especially tomorrow, we won't laugh like this. We won't smile like this. We'll go back to being quiet, distant, the kind of people fanfic authors love to write their angst pieces about.
We'll keep to ourselves, suffering alone in silence.
So just now, I'll let us act like a couple of idiotic brats. I'll let us laugh and play and enjoy ourselves, because… because, because…
Because sometimes, we just need it like that.
