tamismyfather's Prompt: Harvey wakes up one morning next to his latest one-night stand and finds that he's completely invisible, and he has no idea how to get back to normal. Hilarity ensues.
Bonus Points: None of Harvey's clothes are invisible. You might think I mean this as an excuse for naked!Harvey running around the city, but the opposite is true; I just can't stop being amused by the image of an empty suit pacing around Pearson Hardman, freaking out the associates.
Further Bonus Points: Donna thinks it's creepy and Harvey should just take the suit off. Mike proceeds to argue with her that the thought of naked!invisible!Harvey running around is even creepier.
I'd prefer no slash. I mean, if you must, you must, but my slash-o-meter is maxed out right now and all I really want is wacky hijinks.
Harvey had woken up sometime just before dawn, with the sun peaking in through the glass walls of his corner office.
He'd lifted his head and blearily blinked the sleep from his eyes as he realized he'd been drooling. And Harvey Specter did not drool.
He managed, however, despite his no doubt rumpled appearance and drool-stained shirt, to not panic. Harvey was, after all, an expert in such exercises of self-control, and so he decided to rationally recall what had happened the previous night, to have left him in such a state.
It was Mike's fault, his brain supplied immediately. There was just no other obvious solution, and Harvey was certain that his associate could confirm this simple fact.
He swept his eyes across his office in search of the man, but found himself alone. He quickly grew irritated. But definitely not panicked.
Last night, he thought calmly, Mike had found something in the Turrell files that we had to look into, and we must have fallen asleep. Harvey was certain this was the case, since there were scattered file folders and papers strewn across every flat surface of his office. His baseballs had been used as paperweights in some places, and highlighters littered the floor.
But there was no Mike.
Harvey knew the man had stayed here last night, so where was he?
He glanced at his watch in the predawn glow that was now flooding his office. It gave a pink hue to everything in the room, as though Mike had highlighted it all in the neon fluid. It also made seeing anything in his office rather difficult.
They still had a few hours before everyone showed up. Or at least before anyone important showed up.
Harvey dug his phone from his pocket and texted Donna to bring in an extra suit for him. He certainly wasn't going to work looking like this, and he hardly needed to imagine the effort he'd have to spend mocking Louis just because his suit was less than perfect. No, he'd rather expend that effort for a really good reason, like stealing a client from the man, or taking the last donut from the partners' break room—which he just realized he was actually early enough for.
Harvey heard footsteps approaching, and, hoping it wasn't anyone important, he ducked behind his desk.
His office door opened in a way that he immediately recognized as Mike-like—only Mike could open Harvey's door so carelessly. The footsteps entered, but stopped just past the threshold.
"Harvey?"
Harvey was now extremely aware of the fact that he was hiding behind a desk—his desk—and that Mike would very likely never let him forget it. He decided to stop stalling and just accept the brief pang of embarrassment he was about to experience. He was certain he could make both of them forget about it anyways. Mike was just so easy to distract.
"You need something?" he asked suavely.
Mike just stared at him. Actually, he was staring at Harvey's suit, which greatly annoyed him, and he turned a focused glare on his associate.
"I'm having Donna bring me another one. Believe me, yours looks worse than mine," Harvey said honestly. Mike's suit did, in fact, look phenomenally worse than Harvey's. His tie was twisted, of all things, his jacket creased, his pants wrinkled, and his shoelaces undone. And his shirt sported a nasty-looking coffee stain on it. Mike's face looked even worse, but Harvey thought it wasn't worth mentioning.
Unlike Mike's typical responses to Harvey's insulting his suit, this response was rather anti-climactic. Mike just continued staring, and staring. And staring.
"Take a picture, Mike, it'll last longer," Harvey said harshly.
"I…"
Harvey rolled his eyes at his associate's articulateness.
"Harvey?" Mike sounded unsure, which was troubling, really, because Harvey needed the kid to be up to par on their casework for today.
"Yes?" Harvey said with more patience than he felt.
Mike swallowed slowly and loudly, such that Harvey raised an eyebrow in suspicion. He was half expecting the man to tell him that he'd set fire to Louis's office, he sounded so hesitant. (If that were the case, he didn't need to be afraid; Harvey would personally defend him in court).
"What is it, Mike?" Harvey said tiredly. He really needed some coffee.
"You're…"
"Any day now."
Mike seemed to regain some of his composure and suddenly a small smile formed at the corners of his mouth. "You're an empty suit," he said matter-of-factly to Harvey.
"Now that you feel all brave and manly inside, can we get back to actual work?"
Mike started laughing now, and Harvey was starting to get a migraine. He rubbed at the bridge of his nose in frustration.
"Oh my God! You're an empty suit! Ha!" Mike continued talking, but he was laughing so hard that his words turned into nonsense. Harvey was sure that not even Mike knew what he was saying.
"I am so firing you," Harvey muttered. "I thought I hired a grown-up, not a five-year-old." He used his best warning tone, trying to instill the fear of God in the laughing man.
Mike looked scared for all of a nano-second. Then more laughter erupted, but at least now he had the dignity to look ashamed at his inability to control himself.
"I was wrong, apparently," Harvey muttered, but loudly this time, so he was sure Mike had heard him.
"Harvey, you know that phrase, 'the clothes make the man?'" Mike asked, tears now leaking from his eyes as he regained some semblance of control. "Well, you are literally the embodiment of that."
Harvey frowned. "I don't know why I'm bothering to pay attention to you after that stunning display of adolescence-level regression, but what do you mean?" Harvey's suits were nice, sure, but clothes weren't everything. Mike was proof enough of that.
"You are, literally, the clothes." Mike said, laughter all but gone.
"Insulting me is not the best way to go, Mike," Harvey warned. Putting up with Mike in the morning was like dealing with a parade of sugar-high "My Little Pony" fans. Hold a second! Did he just acknowledge that in some capacity, he and Mike spent a night together? God, he needed coffee.
Mike took a moment to calmly collect himself, until, with as straight a face as he could muster, he said, "Harvey, you are literally your suit." He waited for Harvey to say something, but after a minute of confused and tired silence, Mike figured he needed to further explain. "You," he said slowly, as if explaining something to a child, "are invisible. Your clothes are not."
Well, Harvey thought. And for once, he had nothing to say.
That's all for now! I promise I will be working on this, because tamismyfather will personally ensure my doom if I don't, so bear with me lovelies!