Author's note: Hiya-hi-hi! Welcome to the super special awesome world of a random FMA comedy adventure fic. I'd just like to warn you "special" people out there, that there is no yaoi or Yuri in this fic. And for the rest of you, I'll stop talking now so you can read, okay?
One last thing, this fic is actually co-written with Yugisrose. Wave hi to her!
Disclaimer: If I ever did own Full Metal Alchemist, I would have monies. But I don't, so there you have it.
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Chapter One: (…Well, it's actually more of a prologue, but hey.)
"We are gathered here today to witness the eternal bonding of these two souls, forcibly against their will…"
"What?!"
"Ho ho ho, I'm only joking. You all need to learn to have a sense of humor. Ho ho!"
Sunlight streamed into the room through the open shades of the window behind the laughing frame of Fhurer President King Bradley (Don't you just love how he has three names that mean the same thing?). In front of him stood none other than Edward Elric and Roy Mustang, who were currently twitching at the President's odd sense of humor.
"Sir, did you call the two of us down here for the purpose of your joke?" Mustang asked, forgetting his position in society.
"No, no, of course not," Bradley replied, taking a sip of tea…a very very very very very very looooooong sip of tea…looooooooong. Meanwhile, Mustang and Ed stood there, still locked in an awkward saluting position, choosing to glance at things out of the corner of their eyes… like dust particles….
The president finally put down his mug (which had probably been empty for some time now…) and opened his mouth to speak again.
"Now I have forced you here today to give you a mission. Well, technically, it's an assignment, but I like the word 'mission' better, because it has less syllables. Anyway…"
Ed and Mustang, unnoticed by the president, looked at each other with expressions on their faces that just screamed "…Wut?"
The president continued on saying, "We have reports that the Philosopher's stone has been sighted in a forest whose name I cannot recall."
Ed and Mustang gave each other that look again. Mustang got a sudden urge to blow up those dust particles…
"We would like the two of you, and any subordinates you wish to bring along, to investigate this phenomenon in this place… which I still can't place the name of. Any questions?"
"Oh,
uh…" Ed mouthed involuntarily. "How long do you think this will
take?"
"Hmm…" The president thought for a moment. "I'm
not entirely sure. At least a week. In which case, you should
probably bring along whatever it is you commoners use to live your
daily pathetic lives-oh I mean go camping in the woods for a while.
Hehe…." Completely innocent.
…
"Well, uh, okay…" Ed responded, again involuntarily. Sort of…
"You leave tomorrow at dawn. Dismissed."
Here's the part where Ed and Mustang would normally have stood up to leave. Unfortunately, they weren't sitting. So they left.
Upon exiting the room, they expressed their displeasure of being forced to spend a week in each other's company in the only way they knew how: Running around in pointless circles and blowing up random objects.
Well, won't this 'mission' be fun?