Crimson to Black, a gears of war fanfic

SAIL!

I know I do not own GEARS OF WAR or this song I hope you all enjoy this story ;-)

This is how I show my love.

I made it in my mind because

I blame it on my ADD baby.

I feel as if I have lost myself completely now, as if I am slowly circling the drain, still I remain the same. I've become good at hiding the real me, and the pain I feel. They see me as a selfish bastard. And I can play that roll so well.

You really can't turst anybody anymore. We're all human, and humans die. We've already lost over half the human population now, and it's not looking good.

This is how an angel dies

Blame it on my own sick pride

Blame it on my ADD baby

I have done it again and opened my big mouth. Not only did I piss off Marcus, but I have pissed off Sam now. She hasn't talked to me in several days she won't even look at me. I actually got Marcus to yell at me. The others were taking bets on how long Marcus could hold out yelling at me.

It's not Marcus yelling at me that bothers me as much as her not talking to me. The one person I have cared about the most, though I don't let anybody know it. All this time, I've watched over her while remaining by her side and now I'm not even allowed to do that.

Still I don't let anybody see how I'm feeling. I'm just the same asshole as I've ever been. Locking away any emotion and feelings that might be showing, my heart has a frozen barrier about it.

SAIL!

So many thoughts going through my head, and I have to shake it to get them to go away. I have to admit they aren't good ones. Hopelessness has nearly filled me completely. I walk through the base quickly to the one place I feel as if I belong: my work shop.

Jack Bot in peices and spread out across my work bench. I would have like to finish him. All I needed was a few peices. A new power supply even. Poor Jack Bot is the only one of his kind left. None of the other bots have made it through this stinking war.

Parts are now limited. Parts for Bots, weapons, vehicles and even ammo. Mankind is down as well...

What hope do we have left now?

Maybe I should cry for help

Maybe I should kill myself(Chorus: myself)

Blame it on my ADD baby

On my work bench I see an old blade sitting by Jack Bots main compartment. It gleems in the dim light over head.

Picking up Jack Bot's parts, I fiddle with it some. I keep glancing at the blade before me. Another thought comes through my mind and I shake my head to get that thought away. That's not something I should be thinking about, but I can't get it out of my head.

Finally pluck the metal from the wooden bench between my thumb and forefinger and gently turn it in my hand, watching the light bounch off my sliver reflection. I just can't shake away the thought.

Finally I bring the blade down to my skin pressing down hard and drawing blood. I am shocked at first at the pain, but it fades as I pull it across my wrist, drawing even more blood.

I watch as the blood gather's against my pale skin then slide down the side and drip to the floor. It's as if reliefe floods through me. It's hard to explain on how it makes me feel, alive, that this is real.

Nothing seemed real before this...

Maybe I'm a different breed

Maybe I'm not listening

So blame it on my ADD baby

Again I bring the blade down again and again slide it across my wrist. I feel as if a bunch of weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Blood begins to drip and pool onto my work bench. Everything is silent around me. Nobody usally comes to visit me anymore. I've been sure to scare them off lately with my mood.

After several minutes, I am begining to feel lightheaded from the blood loss. I am watching each drop hit the wood and splatter. Slowly the wood begins to soak it up and taking in that crimson color. It's almost hypnotizing watching all this.

SAIL!

Dizziness over takes me and I slid out of my seat to sit on the floor. My vision becomes unfocused and my breathing shallow. This wasn't supposed to happen... I don't want to die...

Fear fills me completely.

I wobble, and try to keep my blanace while I try to clear my thoughts, but I feel as if my head were in thick clouds. I know I need to get help, but my whole body feels heavy. None of my limbs will obey my brain.

Lalalalala Lalalalalaoooo

I feel myself falling and soon I am on my side. I am terrified now because I know that nobody will be looking for me. The blood just continues to flow from my open wounds and I notice the blade just out of my reach.

I am starting to regret ever cutting myself.

I start noticing the edges of my vision darkening and I feel as if I am looking through a tunnel. It's getting difficult to breath, as if somebody is sitting on my chest. I feel as if the life is being drained from my body and I am starting to feel extremely tired.

SAIL!

No! Not this way... So much I haven't done yet

SAIL!

...I haven't been able to tell her how I feel about her...I guess I never will huh?

SAIL!

My eyes are starting to feel really heavy now and I just can't keep them open. My last thought is of one Samantha Byrn.. and then all goes black.

SAIL!