I own nothing, just playing with JKR's wonderful toys. First fic on this site - please be gentle. Story takes place a few years after the War. If you aren't of age, stop reading now - here there be lemons.

"Aurors Potter and Weasley: you are needed at Malfoy Manor immediately for investigation of a T510."

As Minister Shacklebolt's Patronus faded, Auror Second Class Ronald Weasley looked bemusedly at his best mate.

"T510? Isn't that a unicorn run amok?"

Harry sighed at Ron's ignorance, and pushed his glasses to the top of his nose. "Nope. Unicorn run amok is a B510. T510 is code for Use of a Dark Object." And Ron wondered why Harry had made First Class? The brunette grabbed his cloak and was out the door before Ron even got his feet off the desk.

-DMHG-

Two of the benefits of being a post-War Auror were training in stealth Apparition, and increased ability to break through wards. Harry and Ron got into Malfoy Manor so quietly, they weren't detected even by the house elves. Part of T510 procedure was to cast a tracking spell in order to be guided as quickly as possible to the dark object in question. Harry murmured the charm, and the tip of his wand turned yellow. Following it through the corridors of the mansion, he noticed it was deepening in color to orange. All we need now is "red."

The wand's tip glowed cherry outside of a closed door. Harry gestured to Ron to keep silent, cautiously opened the door, and two-thirds of the Golden Trio got the shock of their lives.

Rather than an opulent bedroom, they found themselves looking at what Harry was certain was an Order safe house's kitchen during the War. This was odd, but not nearly as disturbing as what he saw next.

Hermione Granger was riding a flushed, groaning Draco Malfoy on the kitchen table. The lovers' bodies shone from exertion, their eyes shut, too wrapped up in the sensation to notice the intruders. Her head was thrown back, with her hair cascading down to the pert arse Ron still saw in his dreams. Malfoy's large hands grasped her hips as he jammed her ruthlessly onto him. His pelvis rolled as he worked patterns inside her, drawing increasingly guttural cries from her choker-clad throat. Harry and Ron obviously had arrived near the end. Hermione shuddered violently in pleasure as Malfoy's back arched. He pulled her against him one last time, and emptied himself into the beautiful young woman.

The Aurors couldn't have been there more than a moment or two, but it felt like an eternity. Harry heard a loud THUNK to his left, and realized Ron had fainted. Resolving to speak to the ginger later about keeping a cool head, he leveled his wand at the pair. "I don't know what the HELL is going on here, but by order of the Ministry of Magic, Draco Malfoy, you are under arrest for Use of a Dark Object. Move away from Hermione!"

The pair jumped away from each other, and the girl looked at him in wonder. "Is that Harry Potter? The Boy Who Lived?"

"Yes, Angelique, that's the Boy Who Lived to Ruin My Life," Malfoy muttered bitterly. "What do you want, Potter? We were in the middle of something, in case you hadn't noticed. And what's this about a Dark Object? The only object I've been interested in using tonight is right here." With that, the blonde grabbed his crotch, and raised a challenging brow at his old nemesis.

Harry stared in confusion, and lowered his wand slightly. "Angelique? Malfoy, there was a report of a trace of dark magic here. Ron and I were sent to investigate. Explain. And for Merlin's sake, cover yourself."

Malfoy leaned back wearily against the edge of the table. He gently pinched the bridge of his nose while he gathered his thoughts. "It isn't what it looks like. Harry Potter, meet Angelique, of Madam Giselle's."

"Madam Giselle's? Isn't that...um, a gentleman's establishment?"

"How delicate of you, Potter. It's a brothel. A very exclusive, expensive brothel, but a brothel nonetheless. So unless you want to arrest me for a slightly embarrassing business transaction, we're through here."

Angelique had been watching the exchange intently, and timidly raised her hand. "I think I know what drew you here, but I'm hoping I won't get in trouble for it. Please, Mr. Potter. If you arrest me or take it away, I'll lose my livelihood."

Two sets of interested eyes turned to her then, and she reached for her necklace, "This is property of Madam Giselle, and it's rarely used. Only for certain clients, in special situations."

"Take it off, please, and pass it to me." The girl shakily complied, and both men were stunned as she transformed before their eyes into a tall, willowy blonde.

Harry examined the choker closely, noting the intricate patterns in the gold, and the stone in the center. It changed color as he moved it in the light. "Goblin made? What's the gem?"

"Yes, many years ago. It's an enchanted Alexandrite. The necklace gives the wearer the ability to shapeshift into another human form. Mr. Malfoy had requested Hermione Granger."

"Hermione Granger? What is this, Malfoy? Some kind of sick joke?"

"No comment, you pillock. If you want to arrest me, give me a minute to throw something on, and we'll go. Don't forget your pet Weasel. Is he ever good for anything other than stuffing his freckled face? I suppose you could use him as a doorstop right now. Hmph- might be an improvement."

Harry looked at the still-unconscious Ron, and shot an Ennervate at him. Weasley sat up, looking about wildly. "Harry? Where's Mione? We saw her, right? I mean...we SAW her, with...with...that!"

Harry shook his head and shrugged. "Yes and no, Ron. I'll explain when we get back to the Ministry. Malfoy, get dressed. We aren't done by a long shot. You too, Angelique. You'll need to provide a statement. I'm going to have to confiscate the necklace indefinitely. Have Madam Giselle contact the Aurors' Office if she has questions, and tell her I said it wasn't your fault. You helped her establishment by cooperating instead of making us hunt for it." With that, he sent up a silent prayer: Please let the coffee machine be working, and the first aid kit still contain a headache potion - I have a feeling this is going to be a long night.

Finally, with a quietly seething Malfoy, a frightened and embarrassed Angelique, and a confused (and hungry) Ron, Harry Apparated back to headquarters.