(A note from the author: This little collection of oneshots was remastered in March 2014 in connection with its parent fic, Of Noblest Heart. Please enjoy them! -AJ)

Thieves and Skooma

"Have you hit something, Amelie?"

Amelie Rose flipped pages, jotting down notes. "I believe so... but it may be wise to call it a night. I can scarcely keep my thoughts in order."

Her study companion, the Argonian Master-Wizard Tar-Meena, laughed. "After such a day as you've had, I'm amazed you're still functioning. The Gray Fox assault this morning, nearly expelled this afternoon... What follows you tonight, my friend?"

Amelie shook her head, smiling. "Nothing malicious, I hope. Gods willing, I can unwind a bit tonight before lecture tomorrow morning. Iver should be back from the Waterfront, he'll want to borrow my notes from yesterday."

"Why don't you come walk with me in the alchemy garden?" Tar-Meena suggested. "It feels like a long time since we've talked anything but business."

"You're right. That sounds wonderful."

The two women, alone in the Mystic Archives, packed away the various tomes and scraps of paper the day's work had spread out across the table. Tar-Meena was an expert in Daedric cults, and Amelie had come to the University to ask for her help. The Blades were doing something, and they needed to research, and of course Tar-Meena would help. Traven could only keep her so busy with other things.

"How are your studies coming?" Tar-Meena asked kindly. "You seem to be doing quite well for a new student."

"It's all falling into place, now that I have formal instruction here," Amelie said. "The University environment is much more conducive to learning than any other place I have studied."

"I don't doubt it. The outer guild halls are nice and all, but I've always felt that the best place to learn the magical arts is here."

They left the Arcane University, closing the iron gates behind them. A man sitting on the low stone wall of the bridge leading to the Imperial City proper looked up at the clanking of the lock.

"What's tomorrow's lecture?" Amelie asked.

"If I'm not mistaken, it's about runestones again."

Amelie sighed. "It's not as though I am ungrateful for the education, just that I wish we could learn something more practical for a change."

"Miss Amelie Rose?"

The women looked around. Watch Captain Hieronymus Lex got up from the stone wall, looking anxious.

"Captain Lex?"

Amelie looked him over curiously. Just this afternoon, she had seen him in his full Imperial Legion armor, sword at the ready and culprit in hand. Now, however, he sported a much more comfortable, much less metallic outfit.

"My goodness, I barely recognized you without your armor," Amelie remarked.

"It's something of a trademark for the Imperial Legion," Hieronymus said. "But I'm relieved all the same to be out of it every now and again."

"Is there something I can assist you with, Captain?" Amelie asked apprehensively.

"Sort of. I wanted to... well, I wanted to apologize," Hieronymus said sheepishly. "For everything that's happened today."

"There's no lasting harm done," Amelie pointed out. "You need not apologize."

"Still, I feel awful about what my actions have put you through," he said. "I want to make it up to you. Let me take you to dinner."

Amelie, floored, looked to Tar-Meena for help. "Er, my... Tar-Meena and I—"

Tar-Meena nodded, smiling. "We can catch up another time, friend," she said. Leaning in for a moment, she added in a hurried whisper to Amelie, "I've heard he's uptight. I'll be in the dorms if you want to get away."

Tar-Meena nodded politely to Hieronymus as she left. "Don't keep her out too late, Captain," she added. Amelie stifled a laugh.

Hieronymus watched Tar-Meena head back into the University, then returned his attention to Amelie. "So, ah... dinner?"

Amelie smiled. "That would be lovely."

They started off towards the tunnel together, an awkward silence between them. Amelie cast a curious glance at the silver claymore still at her companion's waist.

"Expecting trouble?" she asked warily.

"Hm? Oh. No, I never expect trouble," Hieronymus said. "But as an officer of the law, I find it best to be prepared wherever I go."

"Do you have a particular destination in mind?"

"I'm not sure. What would you recommend?" Hieronymus stopped at the opening of the tunnel, looking around the district. It was rapidly emptying as the night wore on.

"To be honest, the only establishment I can truly say I frequent is the Bloated Float. I have heard good things about the King and Queen Inn, however," Amelie said.

"Hm. I've never been to the King and Queen, but the Bloated Float has excellent dinner service. Shall we?"

They headed towards the inn, the sunset shining on them. The waterfront looked much more peaceful than it had the previous day, the lack of Imperial guards especially apparent.

"So... are you from the Imperial City?" Hieronymus asked conversationally.

Amelie shook her head. "My family and I hail from Anvil."

"Anvil? That's quite a ways to come just to study magic."

"I am actually here on business," Amelie said delicately. "The studying is just a happy side effect. As long as I am here, I might as well make use of all the resources at my disposal."

"Makes sense."

"Are you a City native?"

"Might as well be. My parents are from Cheydinhal, but we came here when I was a boy. I barely remember it, but I hear Cheydinhal is beautiful."

"It truly is. If ever you get the chance, go for the architecture," Amelie suggested. "The buildings are truly something to see."

"I'll bear that in mind. Ah, allow me."

Hieronymus moved ahead to open the door. Amelie smiled, inclining her head as she entered the inn.

"Evening, Captain. Miss Azarath." The orc at the door nodded them in. The Altmer publican waved at the pair of them as they entered. The inn was moderately busy, a few patrons scattered about the tables.

"Ah, welcome back! Any more potions to sell, miss?"

"None today, Ormil. My apologies, you shall have to wait until tomorrow," Amelie said.

"Don't worry. Can I perhaps get you something else?"

"How about dinner? For two," Hieronymus put in.

"Ah. Ah! Of course!" Ormil gestured at a table, skittering about the little kitchenette.

"May I ask what your business here in the City is?" Hieronymus asked courteously as they sat down.

"Er, well. It is a rather singular assignment, and with any luck I shall be out of your hair by the end of the week," Amelie said.

"You're not very forthcoming, are you?" Hieronymus regarded her with interest. "Are you... in some sort of trouble, Amelie? Perhaps I've misjudged you."

"Oh no, not at all. Make no mistake, I never get into trouble with the law," Amelie said, double taking at a figure at the other end of the inn. A Bosmer woman was attracting her attention while trying to stay inconspicuous. Methredhel?

"That's good. You seem like a good citizen, the Imperial City is glad to have you," Hieronymus said, noticing Amelie's distraction. "Is something wrong?"

"N-No, just a little nervous, I think," Amelie said quickly. "I've never had dinner with a member of the Imperial Legion before; it is rather intimidating, you understand."

Hieronymus laughed. "As long as nothing illegal happens, you have no reason to worry."

Methredhel sneaked around the inn, alerting a few of the patrons to Hieronymus's presence. Two or three immediately began to sneak towards the door, interrupted by Ormil's reappearance with two warm bowls of vegetable stew.

"There you are Captain, miss Azarath."

"Thank you, Ormil," Amelie said politely. "This smells delicious."

"Can I get you anything else? Bread, wine perhaps?"

"This is quite enough for now, thanks," Hieronymus said. Ormil nodded good-naturedly, still unknowingly barring the successful escape of several thieves.

"Let me know if there's any—"

The serving tray went flying out of Ormil's hand, pinned to the wall with an arrow. Wide-eyed, the patrons whipped around, searching the inn for the assailant. Hieronymus rose from his chair, a hand on the hilt of his sword. "Thief or assassin, you are not welcome here!"

In the confusion, the Thieves Guild slipped out. Hieronymus and Ormil kept looking for the attacker. With her main adversary suitably distracted, Methredhel stayed behind, slipping into the chair behind Amelie. Amelie discreetly dug in her satchel for her Mages Guild hood, and passed it to Methredhel.

"Was that entirely necessary?" Amelie whispered, still facing her table.

"Black eye healed fast," Methredhel whispered back, pretending to be engaged in an old issue of the Black Horse Courier. "No one got hurt."

"You nearly shot the man."

"Why are you on a date with Lex in the waterfront? He could arrest us all!" Methredhel hissed, pulling the hood low over her brow.

"Don't you dare tell Jean. It is not a date, it is dinner. If you so fear the eyes of the law, why are you still here in plain sight of them?" Amelie whispered back. Methredhel pulled the hood tighter over her head.

"If he's paying, it's a date. Keep him busy so I can get out of here."

"He wanted to apologize for what YOU did to me. Why did you stay behind? You had a perfect distraction earlier, you missed your chance."

"What I did? It's his own damn fault for making trouble. Just get him to leave the room or something, he can't keep his eyes off you while he's here."

"If I recall correctly, YOU are the one that owes ME for the black eye," Amelie pointed out softly, Hieronymus returning.

Methredhel swore under her breath. "Please, Rose. After today, I can't get caught again."

"Everything all right?" Amelie asked, her question directed at Hieronymus.

"Nothing stolen, from what we can tell," Hieronymus sighed. "No sign of an attacker, either. I'm sorry for the interruption, Amelie."

"No need to apologize," Amelie said kindly. "I don't think either of us expected to find trouble here."

Hieronymus smiled. "You're right."

They settled back into their meal, the inn noticeably quieter with the departure of the Thieves Guild. Methredhel nudged Amelie's chair forward a few inches; she could not escape with Hieronymus looking in her direction.

"You never did tell me what you're doing here in the City," Hieronymus prompted again, peering curiously for a moment at the hooded figure behind Amelie.

"Are you really that curious?" Amelie asked, laughing.

"Well, yes. A woman from Anvil doesn't come all the way here for no reason."

"If you must know. I am working on a mission for the Blades."

Hieronymus looked incredulously at her. "The Imperial Blades? The Emperor's bodyguards?"

"Now, you must hear me out. I was not a part of the Blades until after Emperor Uriel's death," Amelie explained.

"Bringing in new blood, I suppose. I just... can't picture you as a soldier."

Amelie laughed. "It is true, I am of no use to anyone with an actual blade. But I had the great fortune of getting myself caught up in the whole ordeal of the Emperor's death and working out his succession."

"I certainly don't envy your job. I won't ask any more, forgive me for prying."

"It is quite all right-!"

Methredhel jolted Amelie's chair again, lurching her forward a bit further.

Hieronymus frowned, looking behind Amelie again. "Excuse me, miss!"

Methredhel kicked Amelie's chair again, prompting Amelie to get up.

"Help. Me. Out," Methredhel breathed in Amelie's ear as Amelie dragged Methredhel to her feet. "H-Hey!"

"If you pickpocket him on the way out, I will give him a complete detailing of what really happened last night," Amelie hissed warningly. Raising her voice, she added, "Darling, what are you still doing here? You should be sleeping that off. I should have known it was you right away."

"Rose, so help me, if you drag me around—"

"Come on, dear." Amelie pinned Methredhel tightly against her and frogmarched her towards the door. "Graman, can you help her back to the University?"

"Err, certainly." The orc took Methredhel from Amelie, and "helped" her out the door. Hieronymus stood by their table, looking confused.

"What... who was that?"

Amelie sat back down, a good-natured smile on her face. "A fellow student at the University. The poor dear is addicted to Skooma."

Hieronymus's eyes went wide. "Skooma? At the University?"

"Moon sugar can be a valuable alchemical ingredient," Amelie lied. "A few of the less-responsible students have gotten into the nasty habit of using it for other purposes."

"That... Amelie, Skooma isn't illegal in Cyrodiil, but where... how...?"

Amelie tried not to laugh. "That is for me to worry about, not you."

"For you to...? Amelie, I thought you said you weren't in any trouble!" Hieronymus said incredulously.

"And I was telling the truth," Amelie said simply, returning to her stew. "I have kept everyone safe so far, and no one has turned me in."

"You..."

Amelie chanced a quick glance towards the door. Graman had returned; Methredhel was gone.

"Amelie, are you a moon sugar trader?" Hieronymus asked carefully.

Amelie took a delicate sip of broth, shrugging nonchalantly.

"Wha—Amelie!" Hieronymus leapt up from his chair, shocked. "I-I didn't know you were a woman of such questionable morals! You—"

Amelie laughed. "Oh, do stop being ridiculous and sit down, Captain."

"But—!"

"You MUST learn to take a joke," Amelie said, smiling good-naturedly at him. "You cannot seriously believe that that woman was on Skooma. Stumbling around like that? She was drunk!"

"Drunk?" Hieronymus sat back down, confused. "Are you... you were joking. About Skooma."

"So perhaps I don't have the best sense of humour," Amelie said.

"Skooma is not funny," Hieronymus insisted.

"If you say so." Amelie set down her spoon, shaking her head. "I do find it interesting that you have trouble distinguishing the telltale signs of drunkenness from that of Skooma addiction."

"We've done a fair job of driving REAL Skooma dealers out of the Imperial City," Hieronymus said indignantly. "You can't fault me for not recognizing something I rarely see."

"True enough."

Silence. Amelie fished out her coin purse to pay for her meal. "Have I scared you off then, Captain?"

"Hardly." Hieronymus got there first, settling the tab with Ormil before Amelie could open her purse. "Any woman with the audacity to 'joke' with a Captain of the Guard is someone I'd certainly enjoy seeing more of."

Amelie cocked an eyebrow. "You have no fun in the Imperial Guard barracks, do you?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that."

They laughed, departing the Bloated Float.