Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon or any of its characters. I do not make money from the writing of this story.
Author's Note: I received a number of reviews that said the first part of Chapter 1 sucked. I agreed, so I rewrote it. Thanks for the feedback, those of you whom offered.
Rated T for irreverence and sassy euphemisms.
Melemele: The Untold Stories
Chapter 1: Trust No Agent
Lillie rang the bell. The weathered exterior door opened. "May I help you?"
"Alola, sir! Professor Kukui would like to deliver a package to the Hokulani Observatory, please."
The rotund gentlemen popped open the screen door of his quaint blue farmhouse. The berry farmer wasn't making much off his crop, considering fruit grew by the Tauros load on Melemele Island and was free for the taking, assuming you could pry it from the greedy claws of a Crabrawler.
Being an entrepreneur from Kalos, the farmer started a side business transporting parcels all over the four islands of Alola using a fleet of the delivery Pokémon, Delibird. Professor Kukui said he was the primo guy for flipping snowbirds… she guessed that was Alolan vernacular for ultra speedy service.
"It'll take longer than usual. Some of my flock has gone missing. Kukui know anything about it?" A bright white, beaked face poked out from behind the gentlemen's leg and waved a red flipper at her energetically.
"Deli! Deli!" Delibird piped. The gentleman pushed the Pokémon back with the flat of his flip-flop. He leaned out the entryway and scrutinized his unsown fields.
"I'm sorry to hear that… I'll ask the Professor if he's seen any Delibirds. I hope you find them." Lillie unzipped the Pokémon-themed duffel bag over her shoulder. A small kraftpaper-wrapped box surfaced, pushed up by a plume of otherworldly matter. Lillie snatched the package and smooshed the purplish thing down. The bag squirmed and bucked. "Stopit!" she whispered.
The berry farmer raised a brow.
"Here!" she thrust the package through the doorway.
"Tell Kukui to give me at least four days." He held up that number of his rough digits before taking the box.
"I will... Thank you, sir!" The farmer gave the girl a suspicious look and closed his front door without another word. Lillie spun on her heel, facing the road from the porch. "Honestly Nebby! What have I told you?" she scolded.
"Pew!" the bag unzipped and the purple puff hurdled from captivity. The Pokémon hung in the air in front of her and fluttered its pair of twinkling blue wisps.
"Get back in the bag this instant!" She stamped her foot and spread the gaping pocket open, bobbing it at the disobedient nebulite. Nebby drifted away from the porch.
"It's not safe out here. What if someone sees you? I can only protect you if you do exactly what I say… so get in the bag and stay there!"
"Pewpew!" Nebby frowned with a puny curve of a mouth and narrowed its two yellow eye spots. It swiveled around to show her its twilight tushie and tootled over the shabby fence that bordered the farm.
"Wait… Come back!" Lillie dashed off the porch and stepped up the slats of the fence. She was not dressed for romping around. She swung one lacey leg over the other and managed to find her feet on the other side without too many slivers prickling under her white summer dress.
The Cosmog was already thirty feet ahead. She was not dressed for a chase. Lillie ran as fast as she could but her bag paddled her backside and her hat kept slipping off. Lillie followed the renegade wisp through a straight trail cut deep into the steep hillside. The towering limestone eclipsed the sun and gave her a chill.
"Peeeeeeee…." Nebby wagged over the shady path far ahead until it was a purple dot on her horizon. Lillie bounced to a stop at the long trail's end, marked by a single, wrought iron lamp post. Dewy fog blanketed a grassy field carved out of the hill ahead. Rays of sunshine flickered through the gauzy mist.
"Nebby…" she couldn't see very well through the vapor, but she could make out dark slabs rising out of the ground in even rows. "A… graveyard…?" she rubbed her bare arms and clamped her Mary Janes together. She realized she couldn't hear the surf beating against the sand, or the wind sweeping over the palms. The graveyard was fortified against the lively ambiance of Route 2.
"Nebby!" she called into the expanse.
NEBBY! BBY! Her voice ricochet off crags that towered over the burial ground. Lillie shivered. It was so quiet she could hear her own breath, the scratch of gravel under her soles, the buzzing of electricity from the light post. Lillie peered up at the bell glass bound in a sculpted frame. The light was on. It wasn't on a second ago.
The electric flame seemed to shift, dwindle, fade… but it never went out. The lesser the glow became, the more her vision tapered to its shape until the only two things that existed were her and that gorgeous, compelling, insignificant light…
"Howzit Lillie?!"
"Ahh!" She spun at the voice behind her. "Hau!"
The freshly minted Pokémon trainer had his thumbs tucked under his backpack straps and wore a brilliant smile that could charm the flaxen locks off a Dugtrio. "Whatcha doing at the Hau'oli Cemetery?" he asked.
"I'm so glad you're here!" she said as she caught her breath. "I'm looking for Nebby! Um…" Her excitement drained. She averted her eyes and wrung her petite hands. "It got lost… somewhere… I think it might be in the cemetery..."
"That's too bad." Hau dug at an itch on his nappy head. He waited until her lack of reply became insistent. "Um… Do you want me to help you look for it?"
"Oh would you?!" Lillie implored.
"Sure, I was just on my way to see if there were any Pokémon here. I heard lotsa Pokémon stop by graveyards and churches…"
"Thanks Hau! …If it's not too much trouble."
"No trouble!" the ever-chipper Alolan boy hiked up his baggy swim shorts and hustled past her. After a moment he turned around. "Are you coming?"
"Oh, no… I'm just going to stand right here while you look for Nebby." She kneaded the strap of her duffel bag and took a baby step backward.
"Are you sure? You don't want to look with me?"
"I'm not a Pokémon trainer, so..." she didn't finish the sentence and stared at him vacantly.
"Oh, okay… that makes sense… I guess..." Lillie was so weird. Sometimes she really creeped him out. "Uh, I'll be back in a jiff!"
Hau felt his buoyancy returning after he left the girl behind. The haze diminished the farther he went, and he spied patches of grass among the gravestones that surely hid some awesome Pokémon. Oh, and maybe Nebby.
He heard a rustle. A short distance away, a balloon swayed in front of a stand of berry trees. The balloon was lavender with a white whorl on top. It had two strings instead of one. It also had eyes. It must be a Pokémon! He'd need to weaken it if he was going to catch it!
Hau dropped his backpack between his sandaled feet and fished in the front pocket. His hand went through a hole in the bottom and his stomach dropped.
"NO!"
He dug into the pouch and found only one Pokéball. Hau gripped the two-toned orb tightly. He needed to find his other Pokémon. Maybe his backpack ripped only a few moments ago… Hau scanned the ground carefully, and the knot in his gut grew tighter. He couldn't find his other Pokéballs anywhere.
NO! OH! OH!
Hau's cry scattered over the cliffs. Lillie gasped and edged toward the side of the path, squinting into fog. Maybe he just lost a battle with a wild Pokémon. She had some super potions if his Pokémon needed them. It was probably nothing serious… just a battle. Nothing serious.
Her duffel bag felt much lighter. It distended into a plump sausage and the strap hung loose at her shoulder.
"Uhhh…" she unzipped it and peeked inside. The cavity expanded into infinite space speckled with a trillion stars and prismatic nebula. Mysteries so vast and boundless shocked her consciousness in a splendor of viridian, goldenrod, cerulean, vermillion… They were all made of stardust. Lillie sank to her knees and let the bag slip to the ground. She descended nearer and nearer the cosmic wonderland, burgeoning with joy, dreams of soaring weightless across the miraculous infinity hidden within the synthetic lining.
She fell in.
The bag swaddled her like a wet towel until she was a Kakuna of canvas. "Aghfff!" Lillie rolled around the path. She thrashed and yanked and scraped, but the bag did not yield. The more she struggled, the more absurd her plight became. She was stuck in a duffel bag. She couldn't move her limbs. She was suffocating. She needed air. She needed space. She needed independence.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Lillie took a deep breath that sucked fabric against her lips. "I'm sorry, Mother! I'll be a good girl! Please let me outta here! Moooootheraaaaaahh!" Birds blew from the trees all the way on the other side of the hill.
Lillie heard something laughing.
Suddenly, Lillie found herself rolling in the dirt, covered in twigs and leaves. She sat up with her legs akimbo, delirious from lack of oxygen. "Huh?" She looked at her hand. It held an empty jar with a label that read "ORANGE MARMALADE." She threw it aside.
She looked like she'd been living in the woods for weeks. Her once pristine dress was crinkled and spattered with the outdoors. Two thick braids that framed her face choked around her neck in a tangled mess and her knee socks were bunched around her ankles. The girl's pitiful mug focused on the large creature laughing riotously at her from the cemetery entrance.
It levitated three feet off the ground. Two imprinted right triangles modeled scary eyes and a coarsely drawn, jagged smile split across half its plum-colored head. It didn't have anything that resembled a body, but a pair of three-fingered claws hovered in front of it.
"It's a Haunter…" she gasped.
One lick of its poisonous tongue causes a slow, painful death. Haunter is one of the most lethal Pokémon regularly encountered by unprepared youth on their misguided Pokémon journeys. She read that in "Gotta Catch'em All: A Dangerous Ideology."
"Haw!" Haunter bellowed. Lillie scooted back. One of its claws floated toward her and she ducked into the crooks of her elbows.
"Please don't hurt me," she peeped.
She felt a small tug on the top of her head and looked through the opening between her forearms. Haunter had plucked a leaf from her hair. It guffawed at her clueless expression.
"I'm not a Pokémon trainer or anything, okay, so this isn't fair!" Lillie hoisted up from the dirt and brushed away the platinum blonde tresses that stuck to her sweaty cheeks.
"HA!" Haunter sprang out a pink tongue the size of her entire leg. Lillie let out a wavering scream and stumbled backward, bumping into the lamp post. She froze like a spring Deerling caught in the wrong season. The ghost Pokémon withdrew and paused. It rubbed its non-chin with a sharp finger.
"HA!" It peek-a-booed the same silly face at her again.
Lillie shrieked. Her knees buckled and she slid against the pole, honeydew eyes glistening, sure she was about to meet an ugly fate. She whimpered and hid in her palms, waiting for the end.
Haunter gawked at her. It dragged its claws down its face in disbelief.
Lillie wondered why she hadn't been poisoned yet. She peeked between her fingers. She noticed her bag and hat not too far away. Beyond that, she saw the silhouette of a figure running across the field, gesturing wildly with outstretched arms. Hau must have heard her scream!
"Run!" she commanded. Lillie pushed off the stalk of iron and darted past the floating figure, tossing the bag over her shoulder and donning her hat in an ungainly escape. Haunter tracked the movement without intervention. It slicked back the set of three spikes crowning each side of its head.
Hau emerged from the fog with Eevee at his side.
"Don't worry Lillie! We'll save you!" He looked at his fuzzy companion. Eevee gazed up at him doubtfully with its adorable gumdrop eyes. It appeared to Eevee that it was tremendously outmatched, but it couldn't refuse its master; such was its docile nature.
"Eevee, use Bite!" Hau shouted, pointing at Haunter.
There might as well have been a big, flashing question mark over the little Pokémon's head.
"Uh, Sand Attack?"
"Veee…." Eevee sighed, long ears drooping in anticipation of an unpleasant outcome.
The brown ball of fur darted ahead. Lillie smiled when she saw Eevee coming to her aid, and nearly forgot there was a poltergeist right next to her.
"Hauuuuuuuuunter!"
Haunter's floating claws opened wide and almost fastened around the distracted girl. Lillie yelped and plummeted to the ground just in time, pulling the brim of her hat down around her small shoulders. Eevee pitched at the ground, driving red earth into a cloud of dust. Haunter drifted upward to evade the attack; but Lillie was not so fortunate. Dry loam spewed into her face, coloring her hair pink. She coughed and rubbed at her eyes.
Eevee clambered up the poor girl with all the grace of a three-legged Slowpoke and launched at the surprised Haunter above.
"Eeeveee!"
It sailed right through the gaseous ghost and thudded into the hardpan on the other side. Hau skidded to a halt. "That was not very effective… not at all effective… totally ineffective… Aue…." he deflated further with each successive correction.
"I'm fine! Don't worry about it!" Lillie shrilled, mostly blind. She sprang up and whipped her empty gym bag at the Haunter. The bag passed straight through, but then so did she. Lillie flew down the path leading out of the cemetery. Haunter crowed with delight and followed.
Hau's face fell. "Oh man, Professor Kukui is going to tie a rock to my ankle for this!" He scooped up his dejected Eevee and tried to keep up.
Lillie kicked up dust, exercising her lungs in a long and winding bawl. She had a tough time not losing her balance with her Pidove-toed gait. Haunter sopped up her trail of fright like a thirsty sponge, drooling dabbles of poison that singed when it hit the ground. The ghost waited when she stumbled, and closed in again when she picked up her pace, letting out a hacking chortle that encouraged more peals of terror from the tearful adolescent.
"When someone screams that much they must be into it." Haunter sucked on a Pecha berry daiquiri through a silly straw looped in the shape of a Clefairy.
"I agree!" Noibat chimed in. The small, fluffy bat with oversized, loudspeaker-like ears produced a supersonic melody that leveled the regulars in the Poki bar – except Haunter, whom applauded with disembodied hands.
"Top rate!"
"Thank you." Noibat beamed.
Gradually the scene returned back to its usual liveliness. The Subzero Slammer was a popular dive hidden in a cave at the north end of Route 2. It was one of the few Poki bars that had not been raided by humans, and so it attracted a diverse bunch of Melemele Island locals and some out of town visitors; even a Roggenrola teamed with a Zorua provided live music for the evening.
Mimikyu adjusted the stuffed, grimy sack teetering atop his mysterious lump of a body. He gurgled in an echoing, demonic whisper.
"Certainly not!" Haunter balked. "My little vanilla Casteliacone is a lady. She's nothing like Pikachu."
Haunter glanced behind them to see the yellow mouse with the zig-zag tail seated at a large palm stump. A mass of Pichu and one Magnemite clamored for attention around her. Pikachu lit up the table with her cheeky grin, causing a static field that electrified her audience. Magnemite discharged.
"Electric types." Haunter clicked his tongue in disapproval and turned back to Mimikyu.
Mimikyu spoke backwards in a raspy requiem. The lamplight seemed to dim around his small, saggy form. The two holes in his costume brightened and shone, then blackened into unfathomable pits that drained the color from the neon orange surfboard they used as a table. Noibat covered her mouth with her wings, trying not to throw up from the foul cacophony.
"Yeah, I get it, buddy. That's rough." Haunter tried to console the lonely devil.
A poorly groomed Yungoos sat next to Mimikyu, but didn't appear to notice that time-space was tearing under the rippling disguise.
"The only way to keep a human is to bite them and never let go. Then they can't get away." Yungoos folded his short arms together as if it was the final word on the subject.
"I like it when she gets away," Haunter said dreamily, "then I can appear in the tall grass and scare her all over again."
"That makes no sense. They're supposed to catch you, and then be with you forever." Yungoos steadied his long torso on a sand soaked stool. It wasn't easy after three rounds of cheap Leppa ale.
"I heard sometimes, after they catch you, they put you in a box and you never get to listen to the break of the surf or taste the piquant fruits of Alola ever again." Noibat shuddered.
Yungoos looked over at the Noibat perched on the table next to the levitating Haunter. He gave her a bemused scowl.
"I've never heard of a pi-whatever berry. Is it sour? I hate sour-"
Before he could say anything further, the entire right side of Yungoos stretched away from his skeleton like a taught rubber band. Yungoos snapped in the opposite direction from the searing hot wave of particle energy and jettisoned into dried palm fronds that lined the far side of the bar. Mimikyu disappeared into a void, leaving a smoking black stain on the overturned bucket he once occupied.
"There he goes. Bring back a souvenir this time!" Haunter called.
The music stopped and a crowd of Pokémon gathered around the pile of leaves and debris with Yungoos at the center. His crash left a hole in the side of the establishment. A snow-white Vulpix hopped over with her six frosty tails sweeping gracefully around her. Yungoos' front half and back half twisted away from one other. He moaned painfully and gazed toward the thatched ceiling to see Vulpix standing over him.
"Must you four always destroy this place every time you come here?" Even when she was angry she sounded cute. The fox Pokémon clamped her jaws over the stem of a frond that Yungoos lay on and jerked it up. Yungoos tumbled off.
Haunter waggled a finger and the fronds drifted into the air, including the one Vulpix held. Vulpix let go of it and her fuzzy chin dropped in surprise. The leafy blades wove together and assembled to patch the hole as if they had a life of their own.
"Uh, you're welcome here anytime, of course," Vulpix said, backing away from the possessed fronds.
Noibat sighed longingly and scooted closer to Haunter. The other Pokémon took a quick look at the evolved Gastly that dwarfed all the low-levels in the room, and dispersed, most leaving the Poki bar altogether. Yungoos sat up and rubbed his back. Roggenrola and Zorua, noticing that most of their potential tips had gone, were about to leave when Vulpix stopped them.
"Hey, where do you think you're going? I paid for three hours of entertainment and it's only 20:00!"
Vulpix exchanged intimidating glares with Zorua until one of them backed down. Zorua snorted with pointed distain and hopped back on stage. She spun around and the mirage of a Kirlia began to dance and sing. Roggenrola vibrated a jaunty tune, now with much less enthusiasm.
Haunter turned towards Vulpix and motioned for her attention. "Hey Vulpix, can I ask a question? I'd like to hear a woman's opinion."
Noibat wilted.
"Whatever you need! It's not like I have other things to do when you scare away the customers," Vulpix grumbled. She hopped onto the charred bucket. Yungoos slid over next to her and gave her what was supposed to be a friendly smile, but a wall of broad, bear-trap teeth made it look more like a menacing sneer.
"Theoretically, how would a ghoul like me win the affection of a vixen such as you? I could obliterate your sanity and rip out your soul in a lick, sure – but how would I capture your heart? What would I need to do first?"
Vulpix would have been Razz berry red if it wasn't for her thick fur.
"I don't date ghost types," she answered as smoothly as she could, combing a bouncy curl off her forehead with her paw.
"How about normal types? I'm solid, honey." Yungoos teetered over his elbows that rested on the surfboard. Vulpix pretended he wasn't there.
Haunter scratched his cheek, "I could have sworn you and that Akala Marowak –" he noticed her expression darken considerably. "Anyway, let me start over. There is this human…"
"Uh huh," Vulpix encouraged.
"Usually I swallow humans into eternal night and feed on their suffering until their bones turn to dust…"
Vulpix looked around to see if anyone else was taking issue. Yungoos and Noibat seemed unperturbed.
"…but this one frightens so easily, so earnestly that now I just…"
Haunter appeared to be bursting with excitement. Vulpix prepared herself for whatever might come.
"…want her to like me." Haunter's face split into a crooked, possibly well-intentioned smile. The length of the following silence pressured Vulpix into filling it.
"Oh…" her voice squeaked just a little.
"So, what should I do?" Haunter prompted.
"Well, maybe she'd like you if you did something useful? For instance, if you…" her gaze shifted and so did her demeanor, "mop the floor when some sloppy Psyduck that is supposed to be in the kitchen spills soda pop all over with his fat, nasty bill!"
Vulpix's volume grew loud enough for everyone whom was left to hear as she leered at such a Psyduck guzzling a bottle from behind the rail. Psyduck glanced over lazily, noticed the icy glare and hid the bottle.
"Hmm." Haunter caught the Clefairy straw in his mouth and deliberated.
"Excuse me." Vulpix hopped onto the surfboard, drew in a deep breath and blew out a cone of snow. Noibat fluttered out of the way as the icy wind shot across the room. The patrons heard Psyduck squall helplessly. Vulpix sat back down.
"I'm sure she'd like you once she gets to know you," Noibat said, settling on the surfboard once again. "I don't think anyone could resist a kind, powerful , intelligent mon like you-" she cut short and recoiled when she noticed Yungoos scrutinizing her with a beady eye.
"Or, you could paralyze and then hypnotize her," Yungoos offered.
"You can't cause sleep and paralysis conditions at the same time," Noibat remarked.
"That's stupid. Why not?"
"I wouldn't expect you to get it." Noibat rolled her eyes.
"Arceus almighty, get off your high Ponyta!" Yungoos snapped.
"Hypnosis would only be worth it if I could also eat her sweet dreams," Haunter said wistfully. "I don't think mopping a floor would do it, either."
"Get a job with good medical and a generous pension," a sozzled Meowth suggested from the table over.
"I know! What if you brought her food? I can find the juiciest, most scrumptious berries for you." Noibat clapped her tiny, velvety talons.
"I could use Sand Attack and she'd never see you coming," Yungoos said with a wink.
Noibat glared. "That is not -"
"It wouldn't be hard to trap her with my Ice Beam long enough to convince her," Vulpix interrupted.
"All of you would do that for me? You are real pals!" Haunter swept his ghostly claws around the three Pokémon and pulled them into a poisonous hug. They fainted immediately on contact and dropped with a thud. Meowth slipped off his crate and bolted for the door.
The lights flickered and dimmed, and then all noise was concentrated into a pin drop. Time halted. Eternity passed within a moment; existence faded to oblivion and everything that was or ever had been ended and began again. The lights went up. Haunter looked across the surfboard table to see Mimikyu sitting on the bucket.
Mimikyu surveyed the bar populated with a despondent musical duo and a pile of unconscious Pokémon lying below Haunter's floating figure. He uttered a low, skulking swell.
"If only it had gotten that wild," Haunter replied. "What'd you find?"
A purple ribbon of fog slithered out from the Mimikyu's costume and dropped something into Haunter's waiting palms. It shined and crackled. An eerie tune emanated forth as the object cast a glow over them both.
"This is exactly what I need to win her over," Haunter said. "You always know what to do, you handsome little beast! Thank you, Mik." Mimikyu made another guttural sound and wobbled his crude Pikachu rag.
To be continued...