The phone rang twice before Lovino picked it up.

"Hello, Lovino," Antonio's voice purred. His eyebrows shot up as he heard it.

"So I heard some things today...things that had me a bit concerned..." As though he were whispering in Lovino's ear, Antonio breathed in and out for a moment before - Lovino was sure he'd heard it - licking his lips slowly. "I think you've been a.../very good boy/, Lovino Vargas..."

He gasped. Had someone caught him masturbating to that picture of Spain he'd taken at their party? His face turning red, he cupped his hand around the phone and began whispering rapidly, desperate not to let anyone else know about what had happened. "Th-that's not fair Antonio, you do it all the time and you know that I just have to sometimes when you aren't around, and it isn't fair that you'd think it's not okay for me to do that you bastard! J-just because you top all the time it doesn't make me any less-"

"What are you talking about, Lovi?" Antonio whispered, his tone accusing. "Oh dear, have you been doing something else now? Maybe I'll have to come check up on you..."

"Don't do that you bastard!" Lovino nearly yelled, catching himself just before he got too loud. "I mean," he corrected himself, lowering his voice. "If you come over here, damn it, I'm going to-"

"What will you do, Lovino?" And suddenly his voice was clear as day.

He looked up.

And saw Antonio standing right outside his window. He shrieked, leaping back about a foot as he dropped the phone. Antonio tapped on the window with his knuckles, a seductive smirk on his face as he mouthed the words 'let me in'. Nervously, Lovino shuffled toward the window and pulled it open.

"What."

"I saw what you did at my house..." Oh god. So he /did/ know.

"A-Antonio, I can explain..." he tried to say, when suddenly Antonio was pinching his cheeks and smiling joyfully.

"You were washing my dishes for me! How adorable and cute you are my little tomato!" he said, pinching Lovino's cheeks gently. Lovino's face became red suddenly as he realized - Antonio hadn't been talking about his masturbating at all! He'd been talking about his /dishes/!

"Shut up, you bastard!" he yelled, slamming the window on Antonio. He watched in shock and a bit of guilty satisfaction as Antonio toppled down into the bushes below. Despite everything, however, he was still smirking...

"I guess that I deserve this for watching that video France took of you masturbating for me-"

"YOU BASTARD!