Sam watched out of the corner of his eye as dean brushed his teeth. he had missed this, watching Dean go through his morning routine. When they were younger Sam's day would always start with watching dean do his morning routine. The consistency of it always made Sam feel safe, Dean was there, and everything was normal so there was no need to worry about anything.

He really needed some of that feeling now and while the routine hadn't changed much it felt different, there was tension in his brother's shoulders that coincided with the tense silence that seemed to permeate the air around them a lot these days.

It had been like this since Sam returned from his self-imposed exile last week. They were walking on eggshells around each other neither wanting to bring up the separation or the reasons behind it for fear of upsetting the other, but both were very aware of it. Dean had taken to avoiding him as much as possible, which when you were together 24/7 and lived out of a small 1-bedroom motel room, pretty much consisted of only talking to him to give out orders or instructions and barely even glancing in his direction.

Right on cue dean looked up, their eyes connecting briefly in the mirror before looking back down after a few awkward moments of eye contact. "Morning" Sam muttered quietly only receiving a quick nod of the head and a grunt from Dean. Dean left the bathroom, chucked his clothes on top of his bag grabbed his keys of the table and left the room without even glancing in Sams direction.

This time last year dean would have made some sort of snarky comment about him staring, probably ending with a girly nickname like Princess, and he would have waited for Sam to be ready to leave with him. Now though he just left. So much had changed because of his stupid decision to pick Ruby over Dean and there was nothing he could do about it, he just had to hope that one day Dean would forgive him and things would go back to normal.

He understood Dean's attitude, knew how much he had hurt him with his choices but he hated the distance between them. Being back together was meant to help him feel better and to help them heal but instead, it felt like each day he was breaking apart just a little bit more.

He had to do something.

Glancing down at his phone sam scrolled to the only person other than Dean that he felt like he could talk to.

"Talk Idjit." The gruff voice came over the phone soothing some of the tension that Sam had been feeling all morning.

"Bobby" He replied gladly that someone was actually talking to him. The silence had been really getting to him.

"What going on Sam? Everything okay?" Bobby asked in his usual no-nonsense way. Letting out a shaky breathe Sam contemplated what he was going to say before replying.

"I don't know what to do Bobby" he hadn't realized how close to tears he was until he tried to talk about it. His emotions were all over the place. He got a grunt and a soft sigh from bobby

"Dean?"

"Things have changed so much Bobby. He can't even stand to be around me anymore. I don't know why he let me come back when he can't even look at me most of the time. I miss him and the way we used to be. I want to make it better but I don't know how or even if he will let me try. I don't know how much more of this I can take." Now that he had started he couldn't stop talking until he got it all out, if he did there is no way he would be able to get it out.

Another soft sigh came over the phone and Bobby replied," Boy, just give him time, you leaving was hard on him, both when you went off with ruby and when you decided to leave hunting. He just needs time to process everything that has happened. My advice would be to just keep being you, don't try and be what you think he wants you to be. Just be yourself and let dean see that you are still the same geeky little brother as you always have been."

While not what Sam wanted to hear Bobby was right, he had abandoned his big brother for a demon in his efforts to try and prove to dean and himself that he was strong and could protect himself. In the end, Sam had never felt weaker and as unsafe as he had felt chasing after Lillith and while he knew that he tended to project confidence he had felt like a little boy again scared and just wanting dean there to protect him. Of course, he could never tell dean any of that for fear of being teased relentlessly.

"I'm sorry for bothering you with this again Bobby. I just can't help but feel like I am losing him and it hurts. I can't lose him again, I don't know if I would survive that." He finished weakly his voice hitching towards the end.

"Don't worry about it Sam, everything will turn out alright. We both know he can't live without you either. Now that's enough sappy advice for one phone call, what have you boys been up to lately?" They chatted for another couple of minutes about the latest closed case before Bobby had to hang up as another call came in.

He felt a lot better after talking to Bobby. With another sigh, Sam finally got out of bed to begin his own, not too different to deans, morning routine. Dean would probably be back soon and he didn't want to keep him waiting if he wanted to leave straight away.