"Here's another thing to remember: hope keeps you alive. Even when you're dead, it's the only thing that keeps you alive"
Beth couldn't recall much after shoving the scissors in Dawn's collarbone. Though, she knew for sure when she regained consciousness was that she was not wearing such a beautiful dress. Beth fingered the material. The satin material was much softer than anything she had donned on since the turn. It just wasn't plausible or reasonable when sooner or later in this new world you had to run.
Beth spun around and let the dress swirl around, it felt like when she was little and she wore her Sunday sundresses for church before her mama served lemonade and lunch when Maggie and she had free time. They would dance in the fields of wildflowers growing in abundance.
As Beth spun she caught sight of the farmhouse that she had grown up in. It looked nothing like the fiery hell that they had left behind when the home it was overrun. Now the home had an ethereal light coming from it. She felt a crawling sensation similar to when she was tracking with Daryl. She had ignored that sensation and had stepped into an old animal trap.
She turned to see what caused the tingling sensation in her spine. Behind her it looked like an ominous dark fog was heading towards her. She knew that whatever was in that fog was dangerous. Her senses wouldn't be sending warning bells if it was safe.
And like always, she did what she knew best. She ran to the home, ran up directly up the stairs leading to the porch, and she began banging on the front door. If she had been thinking clearly she would have burst through the front door of her childhood home.
Imagine her shock when the door swung open and she was face to face with Merle Dixon. He should have intimidated her, but spending so much time with Daryl had given her insight on how to deal with a Dixon. Besides standing directly behind him with a Sunday brunch prepared was her family. Her father looking lovingly over her mama and brother.
Beth felt more trepidation walking into the home than she felt when running from the fog. Growing up, her daddy always had such a strict vision of what heaven would look like. He had described it as giant pearl gates that enclosed a beautiful city paved with mansions and lined with gold streets that lead to the one true king. Though, when her father was out of ear shot her mama would whisper her version of heaven to Beth like she was sharing some obscene conspiracy. Her mama said that heaven wasn't a fancy place, but a place you felt most at peace. That God's final gift was to let you spend eternity with people who were like family in a comforting place for eternity.
She guessed in this moment her Mama's intuition had been correct.
"Yer here too early kid" Merle told her. For a moment his tone almost sounded like she crashed a party. She didn't quite know how to respond.
"Oh hush now, stop being a fuddy duddy. She can still go back, she ain't permeant yet" Annette chided Merle.
Beth could see Shawn and her daddy fighting their snickers as her petite mama took on ole Merle Dixon who was at least a foot taller than her.
"It does matter when it's my baby brother who's hurtin' while she's here socializing with us. It ain't heathy for her neither" Merle argued back.
Any other time Beth would of forewarned Merle the mistake of trying to take on a determined Annette. The day she broke up the fight with a gun shot at the prison she had been channeling her mama. But as is, Beth was hardly following the situation at hand. All she knew was that she was surrounded in her old home with people she knew to be dead.
"Am I dead? What's going on?" Beth interrupted the silent war occurring between her Mama and Merle. She figured it was alright because her questions needed to be answered to help clear the fog in her brain.
Her daddy stepped up for that question, "That's for you to decide, doodlebug."
Beth wasn't sure what to make of her daddy's cryptic words. "For me to decide? What does that even mean?" Beth knew she wasn't stupid. She was just struggling to piece the puzzle pieces together to get the full picture.
"What it means, doodlebug, is if you wanna be dead we can take you to your final resting place and if you wanna live well you can choose that too. You've got time" her daddy's tone was reassuring and kind. She recognized that tone. He used it on her and her siblings on multiple occasions. It's when they had choices, but he already made up his mind and he waited for his children to make the right choice.
Although, unlike when she was a child this decision had serious consequences.
"She don't got time to be wasting she needs to choose now. Lil' brotha…" Merle was cut off by an angered Annette.
"This is her decision, not yours. She can sit down for a meal and work out what she wants. I get you're looking out for your brother, but this isn't his decision." Annette gave her sternest look to Merle. Beth gave him credit he hardly looked cowed by her.
"It ain't my decision, but it don' sit right with me us having lunch whiles lil' brotha is prolly suffering thinking she's dead" Merle was equally if not more stubborn on the issue of his little brother as her mom was adamant about this being Beth's choice.
Both were at an impasse in their fight locked into a heated glaring session. Shawn who hadn't spoken at all since Beth had arrived in the home spoke up.
"Well, while y'all look at each other, I ain't gonna waste Mama and Patricia's cookin'" and he promptly sat down at the set dining room table and began feasting.
Beth sat down next to Shawn and grabbed the basket of rolls. Everyone seemed to follow suit and promptly ignored Merle and Annette's argument in favor of eating and catching Beth up on what heaven was really like.
The meal was heartwarming as she discovered that Otis and Patricia opted to stay behind in case Beth had chosen to crossover to prepare a bedroom for her. She had also learned that Jimmy and Zach sent their best wishes but had chosen to remain among their families on the other side. Only a limited few were allowed to gather in the halfway house to help Beth truly decide her fate.
The dinner was filled with laughter and joy. Beth hadn't felt this at ease in forever. The last time she could recall feeling anything similar was in that funeral home when Daryl had scooped her up and served her pig's feet for breakfast. Although, that meal hadn't been quite as grand as the meal laid out before her the company had been what caused that sense of contentment.
Thinking of Daryl made Beth feel weird sensations in her chest. It was almost like a pulling, like the thought of him anchored her somewhere else. The pulling became a little too much for Beth and she stood and excused herself to stand on the porch of her home.
The pulling her chest was making it difficult to breathe. She grasped the porch to help center herself and steady her breathing. She looked up and she could see in the horizon a fire burning and heading in this direction. Beth felt the shriek leave her mouth before she could gather what exactly was happening.
Merle and her mama burst onto the porch.
"She's gonna have to choose now Annette. We shouldn't of wasted time breakin' bread" Merle shouted.
Annette looked forlorn. "Oh, Bethy. You gotta choose. You wanna come with us or you wanna go back?"
Beth felt her heart doubling its rate. She was never good in these scenarios. She never chose well.
"I don't know what to choose Mama" Beth was frantic. The pulling was getting stronger in her chest.
She considered for a moment that this is what a heart attack felt like, but that wouldn't make sense if she was technically already dead.
"Bethy, baby girl. It looks like you've already chosen. Just know we'll be looking after you always." Her mama's smile was serene.
Merle smiled, "You look after my baby brother, he's gonna need you"
Beth couldn't really put the pieces together of what they were saying. The pulling was getting stronger and it made it difficult to focus on any of their words. The pulling became so strong and Beth's vision went black.
Beth blinked a few times as she felt her body waking on its own accord.
"Girl, girl you alive?" an African American male wearing a weird suit type thing was leaning over her body.
"My, my name is Beth Greene" Beth mumbled.
"I'm Morgan, Morgan Jones. You had a nasty head wound but I took care of it for you." He told her kindly.
She was alive. It made sense what Merle and her Mama had been telling her. She smiled. They gave her hope when she was dead, that hope she would carry until she could share it with her family.
Feeling inspired, I recently reread Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver and I was inspired by so many quotes. You'll see the quotes bolded in this story. I hope y'all enjoy this little adventure.
A huge thank you to my loving ladies Ashley (Akiraflame), Jazzy (Jazznsmoke), and Kels (coolstoryshawty). You three are literal angels and nothing would of been written without your love and support. Mwah.
As always, the standard disclaimer applies. I don't own TWD or any of it's characters.