Just imagine what it would be like if the worlds of Eoin Colfer, Kathryn Lasky, Tui T. Sutherland, J. K. Rowling, Rick Riordan, Christopher Paolini, and Suzanne Collins collided and continued their stories...

Mulch: *yawn* I'm hungry. And bored.

Julius: Shut it, convict.

Mulch: Hey, my name was cleared, remember?

Foaly: Both of you, shut it! Hey, who's that?

Holly: Hey guys.

Foaly: Who's that with you?

Tsunami: YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM?!

Foaly: Holy crap, a talking dragon!

Glory: Duh, what did you think we were, mangoes?

Clay: Mmm, mangoes...

Sunny: Where are we?

Artemis: *walks through the door* What the heck are you all doing in my back yard?

Holly: *rushes into Artemis's arms* Arty, where the heck have you been! I had No°1 reverse my age so we could be together and then you just DISAPPEAR ON ME?

Artemis: I missed you too, Holly. Guess what? I met a talking wolf who was raised by a grizzly bear. By the way, have you asked No°1 about that shrinking spell? I can't kiss you without squatting and it's kind of frustrating because I'm not the best at squatting.

Holly: Not yet. Now, about the talking wolf?

Faolan: Yes, right here. I'm right here. Name's Faolan, and this is Edme.

Edme: Hi.

Foaly: *clears throat* Excuse me, but we still haven't been introduced to the talking dragons.

Glory: Right. I'm Glory, and this is Clay, Sunny, Tsunami, and Starflight.

Mulch: Oh, look. More Mud Men.

Percy: Holy crap, Annabeth, that kid looks just like Nico!

Annabeth: Only Nico has darker eyes that are the same color and he is younger.

Percy: Who are you, anyway?

Artemis: I am Artemis Fowl.

Holly: Criminal mastermind.

Artemis: You know that's not true. You changed me. *kisses Holly*

Mulch: Ewww! Who would kiss someone outside of their own species, anyway?

Holly and Artemis: Me.

Sunny: Awww, so cute.

Tsunami: All this romantic crap is giving me a headache.

Glory: Like there's not something going on with you and Riptide.

Tsunami: Glory and Deathbringer, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N...

Glory: *smacks Tsunami*

Tsunami: Oww.

Julius: OK, people, we need to get on with the introduction. We have better things to do than argue and kiss. Convict, you start.

Mulch: I am the world famous Mulch Diggums, former master dwarf thief. And I am NOT A CONVICT.

Julius: I am Commander Julius Root of the Lower Elements Police Reconnaissance.

Holly: I am Captain Holly Short of the LEP, long time more-than-friend of Artemis Fowl.

Artemis: Beautifulest living thing on and under Earth.

Holly: Is that even a word?

Artemis: No, but it certainly describes you.

Holly: Awww, thanks, Arty. *kisses Artemis*

Artemis: I am-

Julius: We all know who you are, Fowl. Get on with it.

Tsunami: We are-

Glory: We are the dragonets of destiny: Clay, Starflight, Sunny, Tsunami, and me, Glory.

Tsunami: *scowls at Glory*

Faolan: I am Faolan and this is Edme, of the Wolves of the Watch.

Edme: Hi. Again.

Harry: I AM THE BOY WHO LIVED! That is, Harry Potter.

Artemis: ...

Percy: Whoa, where did you come from?

Harry: I Apparated here. I dunno why, I was trying to get to Hogwarts to see Hagrid and then I started thinking of the Weasley's house, and I appeared here.

Annabeth: I am Annabeth Chase.

Percy: And I am Perceus Jackson.

Katniss: I am Katniss Everdeen, co-winner of the 74th Hunger Games.

Percy: Whoa, where did YOU come from?

Katniss: District 12. Get over it.

Mulch: Are we done yet? I'm bored. And hungry.

Holly: *sarcastically* Oh my gods, you're gonna die!

Mulch: *sarcastically* I know!

Julius: ON WITH IT!

I put this together in my spare time. Criticize me very harshly if you did not laugh while reading this.