I break away from the group. They don't even notice I'm gone. Christina's voice bellows over Will and Marlene and the other initiates as they try to figure out a strategy. In my mind, it's clear, get to a high vantage point, scope out the flag and split into teams. I picture it in my head. It's perfect. But first, I need to find high ground, and the Ferris wheel behind us would do. I slip into the shadows almost at the edge of the wheel when a strong hand catches my waist. I gasp and instinctively struggle against it. The Abnegation in me shines through. It was Four. He let go of my waist and stared down at me. His eyes burned into mine. My heart rate quickened as I started to explain what I was about to do but his deep voice interrupted. "I see what you're doing here, Tris."
He looked expectantly at me to reply, but all I could do was stare at his lips. The bottom one was full and inviting, plump and kissable. I stopped in my thoughts. Did I just think that? About Four? "Yes, well I'm going to scope for the flag now". I awkwardly backed away and headed for the metal bars in front of me. Hoisting one leg up, I pushed myself up until I was about 4ft above the ground. Inching forward, I heard Four. "I'm coming" his voice was as deep as an ocean. My step faltered slightly and he grabbed my ankle. I paused, and he crept up beside me. "You sure about this?" his eyebrows furrowed and he looked slightly nauseated. "The question is Four, are you sure about this. You look like your about to throw up. Seriously, go, I can do this on my own." I tried to force nonchalance to cover up the rapid beating of my heart and shaking hands. Four was so close to me it hurt.
"l'm fine, just go" and he pulled my arm up with him as we climbed higher and higher up wheel. It was thrilling, to say the least. Every so often I would stop, to admire the view and also because I think Four was scared of heights. That wasn't very Dauntless of him. I wanted to bring it up but his face was closed off, expressionless. "Four, you don't have to prove anything to me". His eyes traveled from my hands up to my eyes, the journey long and tense. "I'm not proving anything. I just want to be here." With you, I hoped he would say. God, I need to stop thinking like this, he's my instructor. I nodded, barely able to contain a smile at my ridiculous thoughts. "What's funny?" he asked as we reached the top of the wheel. I could see everything. Fields and fields of nothing, the Dauntless compound, and in the far right corner behind some woods, a bright pulsating light. "There! I see the flag!" Excitement poured through me as I turned to Four. He was looking at me, smiling. "Well done Tris, I had a feeling that you of all people would be different". What does that mean? "Different?" I asked hesitantly.
"Just different. To the others. While they are down there, arguing about who runs where guns blazing, you're here. With me. Methodical thinking works just as well in Dauntless as it does in Erudite." I understood him. The dauntless were brave, fearless sure. But bravery and fearlessness is borderline foolish if there is no intelligence behind it. "So, we should go tell the others now" I started to back down when Fours hand touched my bare arm sending electricity running through my veins. My mouth dropped and I turned away. Four made me feel things I shouldn't feel. "Tris, look at me". His hand left my arm and reached for my chin, as he turned my face to his. Inches apart. I stopped breathing. "Four, I cant-".
His eyes burned with an almost needing look. "You are different Tris, so different. You don't know it, but you are. The effect you have on me is… is frightening". His eyes dropped below my nose and his hands shifted so one was on my cold cheek and the other my thigh. My whole body tensed, I can't explain it with words, the way his touch made me feel. It was like my body had shut down, I couldn't breathe, couldn't move against him, his eyes that bore into mine. "Four I… you can't be serious. Look at me, I mean really look". My self-esteem wasn't exactly at an all-time high after my fight with Peter left my face bruised and battered. Not that it was any different before. "It's not about looks Tris, don't you get that?" He inched closer until his body was centimeters away from mine and I could feel his hot breath against my nose. "You aren't beautiful Tris", that was true, but it stung only a little as he continued- "Your beauty is inside, here" and he touched my heart. I stopped breathing.
"There is something about you I can't describe, something more than the way you look. Which is perfect for me by the way". His eyes closed and he breathed deeply. I stared, well gawked would be another word to use. That wasn't the best compliment in the world to some, but to me, it meant the world. I lost the ability to speak and instead, with all the power in my body, I knelt on a bar, closing the distance between us. Ever so gently, I pressed a kiss to his cheek. This was something I'd never done before, so my mind raced on whether it was too hard or too soft, if I dribbled or if I would die of mortification. His eyes snapped open. He looked like he was about to say something, or kiss me back, but instead his expression changed and his mouth turned down at the corners. "We should tell the others you found the flag" he breathed out calmly, and left me to climb down by myself.
I sat in the same position for another 240 seconds until I could think coherently and whispered screw Four. He won't see that side of me again. He infuriated me, was he just using me? How can he change his mood so quickly? I forced myself to move down towards the other initiates, pressing the plan of action to the front of my mind, although right at the back, thoughts of him and the look in his eyes when I kissed him stirred silently causing my heart rate to quicken and my body to freeze up. Screwing Four took on a whole new meaning.