A/N:Well, hello there. I told myself I wouldn't post this until I wrote three chapters, because I really want to actually finish a story for once in my life. I have almost two chapters done, but I have so many little pieces that I have written out that come way later on in the story, which is motivating me to actually write. I also wanted to upload this on my birthday, which is why I didn't wait to finish a few chapters (god, I'm getting old). Don't worry, though; I'm still working on Waltz of the Damned, but the ideas for this story spawned a long time ago, even before Waltz, so I will try to work on both at the same time, now that I have some free time.
Also, I should mention that I'm currently working without a beta. I should probably have one, though, because despite being an education and English major, my grammar sucks. It's one of my weakest points, so don't judge too harshly! However, as always, constructive criticism is welcomed! I do enjoy hearing from my reviewers and make a point of answering all reviews! And for those wondering, the inspiration for this story is 'One Step at a Time' by Jordin Sparks. Go listen to it.
Oh, and be forewarned; the rating is T for now, but will change later on due to language and -ahem- sexual content.
Disclaimer:I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters associated with the game. I also do not own any rights to the song 'One Step at a Time'.
Now, without further ado, I present to you One Step at a Time!
Chapter One: Breaking News
Hayner nervously eyed the needle on the speedometer as it passed 85 and kept on going. Normally, the sandy blond haired teenager would be pressuring his friend on to go faster while he stuck his head through the sunroof of Roxas' black Chevy Cruze, but today was different. Today, Hayner knew something was really off with his best friend. The cerulean eyed boy's demeanor had done a complete 180 at some point during the week and now he was sitting stiffly in the driver's seat, glaring straight ahead, his hands gripping the steering wheel so hard that they were turning white. It was unusual for Roxas McKinley to be acting like he had a stick straight up his ass, but Hayner bit back any comment he wanted so desperately to make.
So, the two eighteen-year-olds sat in an unusual and increasingly uncomfortable silence while Roxas' speed passed 95mph. Hayner watched as the highway lamp posts flew by at record speeds. The light pouring out of them seemed to blur from the dangerous speeds, and Hayner quietly reached behind him to grab his unbuckled seatbelt. On any normal day, he didn't wear the constricting safety feature, but he didn't feel like going through the windshield at death-sentence speeds right before his only high school graduation. Hayner struggled to finish the twelfth grade, and damn it, he was going to live to see graduation.
"Hey…" he started, giving the other blond an uneasy side glance. "Maybe you should slow down a bit." But the other boy either didn't hear him or purposefully ignored him. Thinking it was probably the latter choice, Hayner crossed his arms in minor aggravation and silently wondered at what point this past week had Roxas decided to shut himself off from the world and act like a complete recluse. They had finished high school a week ago and he had seemed fine before Hayner had gone on vacation with his family. Pence and Olette had gone on their own vacations as well, leaving Roxas by himself. The sandy blond thought that maybe Roxas was just irritated that everyone had left him?
After several more minutes of awkward silence, Hayner finally turned to the other and stared him down saying, "Uh, hello, earth to Roxas? Come in Roxas. What the hell is wrong with you?" Hayner was met with even more silence and he heaved out an angry sigh. "Roxas!" he yelled, reaching across the center console and punching his best friend in the arm.
"What?" the other finally snapped, shaking himself out of his lethargic stupor. He tore his eyes away from the dark road and exasperatedly looked over at his friend who was giving him a startled, but firm stare. Roxas heaved out a sigh before muttering, "Just lay off, Hayner."
"Lay off?" the other teen nearly barked. "I was just asking what was wrong with you. You don't have to be a little bitch about it." Roxas rolled his eyes, settling back into his seat a bit. He hadn't realized that he has previously been sitting so far forward that he was practically draped over the steering wheel. While Roxas somewhat relaxed into his seat, Hayner huffed and turned to face out the window again, finding the blurring street lights less aggravating than the blond to his left.
"Nothing's wrong. Why would you think something is wrong?" Roxas asked curtly, suddenly changing lanes as he came up upon a car that was actually going the speed limit. The unexpected lane change caused Hayner to grab the door handle with one hand and the center console with the other, a terrified expression marring his face for a split second. He glared back over at Roxas who seemed unfazed by his near-hit with the other vehicle.
"Um, I don't know, maybe because you haven't said three words to me since we left graduation practice?" Hayner glanced over at the speedometer. The needle was quickly approaching 102mph. "Oh, and you're trying to kill us before we even get to graduate." He nodded towards the dashboard. Roxas looked down himself and let out a small sigh, unaware that he had been traveling nearly 35 miles over the speed limit. He gently stepped on the brake, slowing the car way down as Hayner visibly relaxed in the passenger seat. "You gonna tell me now?"
"Hayner, it's nothing."
"Well, it's obviously something, stupid, or else you wouldn't be acting like a damn hermit. Now spill."
Roxas shot him a nasty glare and muttered something incoherent under his breath. Hayner looked over at him with a blond eyebrow arched high. "What was that?"
"I said I just figured something out recently, that's all…" Roxas mumbled a little louder, putting his elbow on the door window and resting his head on his hand. He didn't really want to be having this conversation right now with the sandy haired teen. He didn't want to be having this conversation with anyone for that matter, never mind Hayner. The other boy wasn't about to leave it alone, though, and he reached down to turn the radio off, the car falling into silence immediately.
"Like..?" Hayner urged, turning his attention back to Roxas who just shook his head, sighing.
"Like I don't want to talk about it," he retorted, clenching the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles were turning white again. "Why are you being so pushy? Just drop it."
"Dude, I thought I was your best friend. Guess not…" he muttered darkly, Roxas let out an irritated sigh and signaled to take the exit that was approaching them. He couldn't believe that Hayner was playing that card on him just because he didn't want to tell his friend what was on his mind. How dare he say that Roxas wasn't acting like a best friend; Hayner was the one pushing him into an uncomfortable situation. But then he figured that if Hayner wanted to know so badly then he would just come right out and say it. Then they'd see who the real best friend was.
"Fine, if you really want to know so badly," he took a deep breath, mumbling, "I'm not completely into girls like I thought I was…"
"So, you don't have time to date right now. That's understandable. Why was that so hard for you to say?"
Unsurprisingly, he wasn't getting it. Totally like Hayner to have things go right over his head. He never had been the sharpest tool in the shed, which according to their other friend, Olette, was usually an endearing quality of Hayner's. Roxas suspected that the brunet girl has been harboring feelings for Hayner for quite some time. Roxas couldn't understand why, though; barefaced stupidity didn't seem like such an endearing quality to him…
"No, no, Hayner," Roxas tried again, this time just coming right out with it. "I'm bi…"
Silence.
Roxas bit his lower lip, wondering if maybe the blatant approach wasn't the best idea. Hayner wasn't usually one to accept something and move on just like that. Roxas glanced back at his friend who sat completely quiet, unmoving. The blond could see the gears grinding away in his head as he took in the information that he just heard. He was well aware of the fact that Hayner stood on the fence about the topic of homosexuality, which was all the more reason why he didn't want to say anything. But since Hayner had played the best friend card, and Roxas felt guilty about keeping it a secret from the boy, he felt that he needed to just let it out before they went off to college, even though he hadn't wanted to say anything at first. The truth was that he was grappling with coming to terms with his sexual orientation and had planned on letting Hayner know what was up with him. He nearly chickened out until Hayner challenged him.
"Well, are you going say anything?"
Hayner looked like the wind had been knocked out of him. Roxas stopped at a red light and took the time to observe him closely, growing slightly frustrated by his lack of comments. He tried to probe the boy, duly noting that the roles had completely switched and now it was his turn to poke and prod the other teen out of his thought process.
"Wait, so like, dick gets you all hot and bothered?"
He wasn't expect that comment.
"Wow, could you have put that any more bluntly?" Sarcasm dripped off of Roxas' words and he caught his best friend's startled look.
"You like cock?"
"Hayner!" Roxas yelled, punching the steering wheel out of pure infuriation. He had only just recently come to terms with this realization and there Hayner was, being extremely curt with his comments. Roxas knew he shouldn't have said anything right away, but he didn't want to sit and stew all summer long on it and figured that, despite Hayner's uneasiness with the topic, he'd still be there to support his best friend. "I said I'm bisexual. It's not like girls disgust me." Roxas rolled his eyes once again, feeling the tension rise in the car ten-fold. The light turned green and Roxas continued on, trying his best not to let this conversation go downhill. He didn't even want to be having it, really, but Hayner wanted it, so the least he could do was be a little more open-minded about it.
"Girls don't, but neither do guys and I'm a guy…" Hayner muttered under his breath.
Roxas sent a harsh glare over to the boy to his right. "Don't flatter yourself, Hayner. You're not exactly my type."
"Jesus, you aren't joking about this? You even have a type?" he asked incredulously, burying his head in his hands and groaning. Roxas grit his teeth; Hayner was acting like this whole issue was affecting him more than Roxas, and the blue-eyed boy didn't take too kindly to that. This conversation wasn't going at all how he wanted it to. He figured there would be people who wouldn't accept him, but he really didn't think that Hayner would be one of them.
"It's a decision I've been struggling with for the last two years and I just want to start college with a clean slate. Y'know, open my options up a little. I wish you'd understand." Roxas whispered, hurt lacing each one of his words. Hayner seemed to pick up on the sullen mood again and he let out the breath he was holding in, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.
"Does that mean you're going to start walking around in those assless leather chap things and talk in one of those highly effeminate voices?"
"No, Hayner," Roxas stated, "not every gay guy does that."
"You aren't going to try to molest me in my sleep at school, are you?" Roxas wondered if Hayner was joking, but he felt like someone had taken a punch to his gut when he noticed that Hayner was, in fact, not even remotely joking. At that point, the blond didn't even try to defend himself to his best friend. He knew that there was nothing else he could say that would assuage Hayner's fears. Roxas turned his attention completely back to the road and they sat in deafening silence for the remainder of the ride.
When Roxas had pulled into Hayner's driveway, the brown-eyed teen murmured a hurried 'goodbye' and ran – yes ran- off into his house, not once looking back. When the porch light turned off and Roxas was submerged in complete darkness, he dropped his head onto the steering wheel and let out an exasperated and defeated groan. His twin brother, Sora, was the only one he'd told and the only person who was accepting of his new revelation, but that was only because Sora, himself, was also bisexual.
With one last overwhelmed sigh, Roxas started backing down his former best friend's driveway and rolled his window down. He needed the warm summer air to calm him down before he rolled into his own driveway. He was sure Sora was going to be home at this time of night and if he saw Roxas upset, he'd demand to know what was wrong and take it upon himself to act like the protective 'older' brother that he claimed to be. The blond gave a weak chuckle just thinking about it. He was the younger twin by five minutes and Sora took his job as big brother very seriously sometimes.
The wind picked up his blond spikes as he drove down the road, another thought on his mind; Tomorrow he would be graduating high school and ending one chapter of his life. He absentmindedly began to wonder where the time went after all these years. Wasn't it just yesterday that Hayner, Pence, Olette, and him were running off to the usual spot to play darts and talk? Or when they went to get sea-salt ice cream and sit up on the Twilight Town clock tower? These were things that the group hadn't done since they were fifteen and a saddened pang lurched inside of him. The last three years were spent preparing for college – filling out applications, slaving over standardized tests, passing classes - and he wasn't sure how he felt about that.
The idea of going to college with his friends and brother excited him, but he idly wondered if maybe this would be the make it or break it for them. Would they just drift apart like they had been doing for the last few years, or would maybe this bring them closer together? An even more painful thought entered Roxas' mind. What if Hayner never accepted him? Would tonight really be the end of their fourteen year friendship?
It couldn't be, could it?
Roxas tried to push all the negative thoughts out of his head and continued on to his house.
Sure enough, when he finally pulled into the driveway, he noticed Sora's bedroom light on and proceeded to step out of the car, waiting for the inevitable. It wasn't long before their front door opened and out ran his brunet twin dressed in his graduation gown and cap. Roxas eyed the gold tassel hanging off the cap; the '14' bounced along with it. He gave a dorky spin, his trademark goofy grin plastered onto his face. "Well, how do I look?"
"Like a dork," Roxas chuckled, brushing past his brother, carrying his own gown with him. Sora spun around on his heels and followed his younger twin into the house, only stopping once to admire himself in the mirror hanging on the entryway wall.
"Well, at least we'll all look like dorks together tomorrow!" he chirped, pulling his cap off his head, freeing some of his chocolaty brown spikes. He bounded up the stairs behind Roxas and threw himself onto the boy's neatly made bed, earning a half-hearted glare from Roxas. He shrugged and proceeded to hang himself off the bed upside down and watch as Roxas hung up his own gown in the closet. "So, what time are Hayner, Pence, and Olette going to be at the school?"
Roxas shrugged nonchalantly and changed into his pajamas before shutting his closet door, sealing away the black gown until morning. "I don't know," he stated, turning towards the bedroom door to go brush his teeth. Like Roxas had predicted, Sora caught wind to his sour mood, and frowned, grabbing his shirt as the blond tried to sneak by.
"What do you mean you don't know?" he asked, flipping over so that he was on his stomach. Roxas cursed himself for being a twin, because Sora always seemed to know when something was off. He was convinced that whole twin-telepathy thing was real – knowing what the other was thinking without having to say it. Sometimes it was a good skill to have, but then there were times when Roxas just wanted to sit by himself and reflect without having to worry about Sora busting down his door to talk about what was bothering him. He would certainly make a good therapist if his chosen path in psychology worked out.
"I didn't ask Hayner. I sort of told him about my…preference…and it didn't exactly go well." Roxas said, taking a seat next to Sora who was now sitting up and trying to pull his graduation gown off.
"You finally told him?" the blond nodded solemnly. "Give it time, Rox, you probably just shocked him is all," Sora explained, getting the zipper on his gown stuck. He made a helpless cry and Roxas reached over and tried to budge the stuck zipper. "When you're best friends with someone for so long and then you drop a bomb on them like that, it's only natural for him to be completely weirded out by it."
"I guess you're right," he surmised, wresting with the zipper for a moment before freeing it completely. His brother looked relieved as he finished unzipping it completely. "I've just never seen that look of…I don't know what it was exactly…disappointment maybe?"
"Been there, done that. Don't let it bother you," Sora stood up from the bed, tossing his gown carelessly over his shoulder. Sora was never exactly the neat twin. "And besides, if for whatever reason you and Hayner don't work out as roommates, I'm still single as a pringle; you can always be my roommate. I've got a lonesome double all to myself."
"I hope it doesn't come to that," the blond sighed, getting up to finish his nightly routine. Sora walked over to his bedroom door and gave a cheerful wave goodnight.
"Smile, Rox! Tomorrow we close a long awaited chapter in our lives!" he punched the air with a sort of mock happiness and saluted his brother before closing the door. Roxas shook his head, a small smile on his face as he continued on to the bathroom. Leave it to Sora to know how to cheer him up when he was unsure of how to feel. Even if Sora had cheesy things to say, he knew his brother was the only one he could really count on in his life at the moment. His parents were always busy with their work, and his own friends, or at least Hayner, was on the outs right now.
Sora was the one constant in his life that he knew he could fall back on.