You Certainly Helped
Blaine Anderson was a changed man. No, he was still quite gay and in love with Kurt, but helping Rachel out really made him look at himself differently. Rachel saw him as trustworthy, and that meant the world to him. Their friendship had grown stronger because of it. That was the reason he wasn't shocked when he got an invitation to see McKinley perform against the Jane Addams Academy glee club. It was just a warm-up for sectionals; even though they weren't competing against each other this year. Kurt warned him that the Jane Addams girls had booty and hairography. But the New Directions had a secret weapon. Blaine settled himself among his friends at McKinley and waited for the Jane Addams girls to perform.
The music blared and the girls took the stage.
[Chorus:] Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere
Rockin' everywhere [2x]
I found you MS NEW BOOTY Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight Girl I don't need you, but you need me Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight Quarter to twelve and we just getting in hi there, how are things? Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight
Get it together and bring it back to me
Hit the players club for about month or two
Put his hand on it then see what he do [2x]
Take it off, let if flop, shake it freely
And I don't tell stories, I let 'em tell theyself
And you ain't gotta sell sex, girl,
it sells itself,
like nothing else
Yeah I'm a country boy,
but that big city bottom fill me up with joy
Ain't life grand (life's grand) living up daddy
Here go the whisper song, baby this is us ready?
Put it on me enthusiastically,
whatever it is that you do, you do it admirably
And I ain't choose it, that thing chose me
It's Bubba and Ying Yang, all the way in this thing
Yo!
Bubba's gonna make you spark with the Ying Yang Twins
Sipping on Patron, blong blong blong
Shawdy in a thong, whom whom whom
Ass get the jiggling, MOTHERFUCKING WIGGLYING
Get that thing shaking, like she frost bit shivering
Ass be delivering, all type of flashes, cashes
Got these hoes shaking that molasses
SHHHHHH
Let me whisper in your ear
Get your self together go and buy some new gear
Do something with your hair then hit the club,
shake your ass and the player's gonna show some love
Do that move you did just a minute ago
I guarantee you'll make all the dough
So gonna do you thing baby, work what you got, to get what you want
Make that money, don't let it make you
I once was breast man now it seems
Ever since I had the pleasure
of getting you together, your chest is just whatever
I found the buried treasured
Yes madam, here's the plan
Meet me over yonder OK - don't play
I'll bring the whip whoop, you bring your cook book
And I'm gonna fix that stuff up, everything is good, good
"Told ya," Kurt whispered to Blaine after a booty shakin' performance. The song that ended faded right into the next one.
This one is for the boys with the boomin' system
Top down, AC with the coolin' system
When he comes up in the club, he be blazin' up
Got stacks on deck like he savin' up
And he ill, he real, he might got a deal
He pop bottles and he got the right kind of build
He cold, he dope, he might sell coke
He always in the air, but he never fly coach
He a muthafuckin trip, trip, sailor of the ship, ship
When he make is drip, drip kiss him on the lip, lip
That's the kids of dude I was lookin' for
And yes you'll get slapped if you're lookin' ho
I said, excuse me you a hell of a guy
I mean my, my, my you're like a pelican fly
I mean, you're so shy and I'm lovin your tie
You're like slicker than the guy with the thing on his eye, oh
Yes I did, yes I did
Somebody please tell him who the eff I is
I'm Nicki Minaj, I mack them dudes up
Back coupes up, and chuck the deuce up
Boy you got my heartbeat runnin' away
Beating like a drum and it's coming your way
Can't you hear that boom, badoom, boom
Boom, badoom boom base?
He got that super bass
Boom, badoom, boom
Boom, badoom, boom bass
Yeah that's super bass
Boom, badoom, boom
Boom, badoom, boom, he got that super bass
Boom, badoom, boom
Boom, badoom, boom, yeah that's that super bass
This one is for the boys in the Polos
Entrepreneur niggas in the moguls
He could ball with the crew, he could solo
But I think I like him better when he dolo
And I think I like him better with the fitted cap on
He ain't even gotta try to put the mac on
He just gotta give me that look, when he give me that look
Then the panties comin' off, off, unh
Excuse me, you're a hell of a guy
You know I got a think for American guys
I mean, sigh, sickenin' eyes
I can tell that you're in touch with your feminine side
Yes I did, yes I did
Somebody please tell him who the eff I is
I'm Nicki Minaj, I mack them dudes up
Back coupes up, and chuck the deuce up
Boy you got my heartbeat runnin' away
Beating like a drum and it's coming your way
Can't you hear that boom, badoom, boom
Boom, badoom boom base?
He got that super bass
Boom, badoom, boom
Boom, badoom, boom bass
Yeah that's super bass
Boom, badoom, boom
Boom, badoom, boom, he got that super bass
Boom, badoom, boom
Boom, badoom, boom, yeah that's that super bass
See I need you in my life for me to stay
No, no, no, no, no I know you'll stay
No, no, no, no, no don't go away
Boy you got me heartbeat runnin' away
Don't you hear that heartbeat comin' your way
Oh it be like Boom badoom boom
Boom badoom boom bass
Can't you hear that boom badoom boom
Boom badoom boom bass
The new directions cheered quite loudly. These girls give one hell of a show. Blaine was still clapping as the New Directions stood from their seats and began to make their way up to the stage. Mike Chang came out quickly on stage and announced that there would be a five minute interval between songs due to costume changes. Blaine was quite anxious to see what they had up their sleeves. Rachel stopped in front of him before her and Kurt went up back stage. "Wish us luck," she said, smiling coyly.
"You don't need it," he teased, kissing her cheek. He turned and kissed Kurt full on the lips before they practically skipped their way up to the stage.
The boys soon filed out on one side with military uniforms on. The girls wore similar uniforms, but they were off white. There was one girl conspicuously absent.
Tarzan and Jane were swingin' on a vine
(girls)Candyman, Candyman
Sippin' from a bottle of vodka double wine
(girls) Sweet sugar candy man [whispered]
Rachel strutted out on stage in a white jacket and a mid-thigh white skirt, that screamed innocent. But Blaine knew that she had something on her sleeve. I met him out for dinner on a Friday night
He really had me working up an appetite
He had tattoos up and down his arm
There's nothing more dangerous than a boy with charm
He's a one stop shop, makes the panties drop
He's a sweet-talkin', sugar coated candy man
A sweet-talkin', sugar coated candyman
Rachel could be seen making eyes at a few of the guys, completely in character, but being herself at the same time.
Oh yeah.. He took me to the Spider Club at Hollywood and Vine
We drank champagne and we danced all night
We shook the paparazzi for a big surprise
the gossip tonight will be tomorrow's headline
She was shaking her hips and being quite subtle with her sexy maneuvers, but effective nonetheless.
He's a one stop shop, makes my cherry pop Se bop bop He's a one stop shop, makes my cherry pop
He's a sweet-talkin', sugar coated candy man
A sweet-talkin', sugar coated candyman
Hey yeah
He's a sweet-talkin', sugar coated candy man oh
A sweet-talkin', sugar coated candyman
Mike Chang swung her around a bit, getting some fifties style dance moves out in the open, and she ended up sending him off with a small smack to his bottom.
Woo yeah
Now the other girls got in on the dancing.
Well by now I'm getting all bothered and hot Tarzan and Jane were swingin' on a vine
When he kissed my mouth he really hit the spot
He had lips like sugar cane
Good things come to boys who wait
(girls) Candy man, candy man
Sipping from a bottle of vodka double wine
(girls) Candy man, candy man
Puck came over to Rachel and put his hands around her hips from the side and Sam did the same for her torso. When the pulled back, the white costume was no more, and in its place was a baby blue satin one. A pair of small shorts and quite a small crop top. This was that she was hiding from everyone else. Sweet sugar candy man
He's a one stop, gotcha hot, making all the panties drop
Sweet sugar candy man [whispered]
He's a one stop, got me hot, making my uh pop
Sweet sugar candy man [whispered]
He's a one stop, get it while it's hot, baby don't stop
Sweet sugar [whispered]
She was really strutting her stuff now. This wasn't just acting. This was the far more confident Rachel that Blaine had grown to love. Now everyone else could see how awesome she was, not annoying.
He got those lips like sugar cane
Good things come for boys who wait
The boys were dancing around the girls, and pairing off. Puck danced his way around Rachel and ended up picking her up and carrying her around on his shoulders for a bit. He's a one stop shop with a real big uh Tarzan and Jane were swingin' on a vine
He's a sweet-talkin', sugar coated candyman
Sippin' from a bottle of vodka double wine [x2]
Jane lost her grip and a-down she fell [x2]
Squared herself away as she let out a yell [x2]
At the end of the song, even the Jane Addams girl were on their feet. It was a cute song that was so dirty. They loved it. Blaine was whistling at his friends, who were on stage, breathing heavily. Rachel came to the front and spoke into her headset. "We'll be back in a few minutes."
The minutes seemed to go on for longer than usual, but Blaine attributed it to wanting so badly to see the next act. Kurt kept refusing to tell him what they were gonna do.
[Artie:]
Ah, dirrty (dirrty)
Filthy (filthy)
Nasty (Christina), you nasty (yeah)
Too dirrty to clean my act up
If you ain't dirrty
You ain't here to party (woo!)
The girls and guys were singing back stage and finally came out. The guys were all in dark jeans relaxed jeans, and fitted shirts. The girls were in short skirts and white dress shirts that were too small and were tied in front, showing off some stomachs. Some of the girls wore black camisols underneath if they didn't feel like showing their stomachs. A projection screen was lowering behind the group, and Blaine had a funny feeling about that. Ladies (move)
Gentlemen (move)
Somebody ring the alarm
A fire in the room
Ring the alarm (and I'm throwin' elbows)
Rachel came out on stage with her knee socks and a skirt that barely covered the red panties she was wearing and just a triangle bikini top. Blaine's eyes nearly popped out of his head. He knew Rachel was sexy, but this was just overload; and he was gay. He couldn't imagine how the New Directions guys were reacting underneath their singing and acting. Oh, I'm overdue DJ's spinning (show your hands) It's explosive, speakers are pumping (oh)
Give me some room
I'm comin through
Paid my dues
In the mood
Me and the girls gonna shake the room
Let's get dirrty (that's my jam)
I need that, uh, to get me off
Sweatin' until my clothes come off
Still jumping, six in the morning
Table dancing, glasses are crashing (oh)
No question, time for some action
Booties were shaking and the girls were getting down and dirty with some of the guys. The guys were going from girl to girl, each one coming up to Rachel but she would push them away. Temperature's up (can you feel it) Wanna get rowdy Ah, heat is up
About to erupt
Gonna get my girls
Get your boys
Gonna make some noise
Gonna get a little unruly
Get it fired up in a hurry
Wanna get dirrty
It's about time that I came to start the party
Sweat dripping over my body
Dancing getting just a little naughty
Wanna get dirrty
It's about time for my arrival
So ladies, fellas
Drop your cups
Body's packed
Front to back
Now move your ass
I like that
A video came up on the screen, and it was a small excerpt from the music video, but once Blaine looked a bit closer, it wasn't. It was Rachel and Santana duking it out. Blaine already knew that Rachel would win this fight, so he just wanted the real live Rachel dance instead. Tight hip huggers (low for sure) Let's get open, cause a commotion (ooh oh) Give all you got (give it to me)
Shake a little somethin' (on the floor)
I need that, uh, to get me off
Sweatin' until my clothes come off
We're still going, eight in the morning
There's no stopping, we keep it popping (oh)
Hot rocking, everyone's talking
Just hit the spot
Gonna get my girls
Get your boys
Gonna make some noise
Santana came up to Rachel and started grinding up behind her, and Rachel allowed it for a few seconds before they both went off in search of a new dance partner.
Rowdy Here it comes, it's the one You can tell when the music
Gonna get a little unruly
Get it fired up in a hurry
Wanna get dirrty
It's about time that I came to start the party
Ooh sweat dripping over my body
Dancing getting just a little naughty
Wanna get dirrty (oh, oh)
It's about time for my arrival
You've been waiting on
Get up, get it up
Yup, that's what's up
Giving just what you love
To the maximum
Uh oh, here we go (here we go)
Starts to drop
That's when we take it
To the parking lot
And I bet you somebody's
Gonna call the cops
Uh oh's, here we go's (here we go)
Blaine knew what was coming next. Rachel was going to be practically on the floor, grinding on a guy, but he didn't know which guy it was gonna be. Mike couldn't even get that low, and he was a dancer. So when Blaine looks again, he sees his boyfriend getting' up on Rachel and grinding on her like no tomorrow. His jaw dropped.
Ohh ooh ohh, yeah yeah...[Artie:]
Yo, hot damn, Doc a jam like a summer show
I keep my car looking like a crash dummy drove
My gear look like the bank got my money froze
For dead presidents I pimp like Huddy roll
Doc the one that excite ya divas (ow!)
If the media shine
I'm shining with both of the sleeves up
Yo Christina, better hop in here
My block live and in color, like Rodman hair (yeah)
The club is packed, the bar is filled
I'm waiting for sister to act, like Lauryn Hill
Frankly, it's a rap, no bargain deals
I drive a four wheel ride with foreign wheels
Throw it up
Baby it's brick city, you heard of that
We blessed, and hung low, like Bernie Mac
Dogs, let 'em out, women, let 'em in
It's like I'm ODB, the way I'm freaking
Puck and Sam came over to grind on her at one point, as did all the guys, except Artie because he was the one rapping in the front corner of the stage.
Wanna get rowdy (rowdy, yeah)
Gonna get a little unruly (ruly)
Get it fired up in a hurry (hurry)
Wanna get dirrty
It's about time that I came to start the party (party)
Sweat dripping over my body (body)
Dancing getting just a little naughty
Wanna get dirrty
It's about time for my arrival
The guys put on a little fight scene, between Puck and Finn. Mike started break dancing in his own little place on the stage Rowdy Rowdy Uh, what
Gonna get a little unruly
(Ooh oh)
Get it fired up in a hurry
(Ooh oh)
Wanna get dirrty
It's about time that I came to start the party
Ooh sweat dripping over my body
Dancing getting just a little naughty
Wanna get dirrty
It's about time for my arrival
Gonna get a little unruly
Get it fired up in a hurry
Wanna get dirrty
It's about time that I came to start the party
Sweat dripping over my body
Dance and getting just a little naughty
Wanna get dirrty
It's about time for my arrival
Rachel ended up on Sam, her legs wrapped around his middle, very up close and personal, and gave the audience a knowing look. Blaine was too awestruck to stand up. The Jane Addams girls were yet again on their feet.
"I guess they got their sexy lesson," Afasia said. "Brought it better than last time."
Blaine silently agreed. This wasn't their usual vocals-only performances that they have done at other competitions. He was enjoying this a little too much. Rachel came over to Blaine when they were all done and smiled sweetly.
"So what did you think?" she asked.
"Where did my sweet innocent Rachel go?" he questioned, pulling her closer by her hips.
"I'm sure she disappeared the last time she went to Dalton Academy to see her favorite Warbler," she said coyly, kissing him briefly on his lips.
"Get your hands off my man," Kurt teased, before attacking Blaine's lips. They would be making use of the empty dressing room in a little while, but Rachel just sat back and smiled. She was really proud of her performance, and thankful for Blaine bringing her out of her shell.
8-17-11