This was a spur of the moment fanfic, i got the idea in the morning, and wrote it in the evening.
It's also the first fanfic i'm proud enough off to put online, so i'd love to hear what you thought about it.
"Miss… Charming i'll be honest i'm not sure what we might be able to offer you. While we aim to accomodate students from all walks of life, i get the impression from your application that you have little to no genuine interest in the pursuit of evil." "Truth be told i don't, but to apply to become a hero i need a knighthood. Every place i've looked so far has turned me down because i'm a princess and i'm sorta getting desperate. I'll deal with having to do evil if it means i get an internship." "Well you're in luck Darling, i happen to have a knight in my service, who might like you enough to take you in as her squire, not that she has a choice in the matter. Though you will have to supplement a few classes at Underdark High" "Oh thank you miss the Painted Lady, you won't regret this!" "Aaargh, no hugging the headmistress! Thank you, and please just call me Yahar'Tajna."
"Hi i'm erh, i'm Nendra, i'm going to give you a tour of Underdark High. i mean, if you don't mind. I'm sure we could find someone else to do it. Please don't throw a shoe at me!" The elf with pitchblack skin, white hair, and round cheeks, had already jumped for cover before Darling could say a word. She seemed blissfully unaware that her spider half was sticking out and shaking in it's exoskeleton. "Erh, hi, i'm Darling, and i'm not gonna throw a shoe at you." Nendra stuck her head out with a hopeful grin "Really?!", Darling replied with her own friendly smile "Really".
"Here's the dark arts room, watch out, i don't think the paint brushes have been fed yet."
"This is the auditorium, it's mostly used by the monologue club."
"This isn't actually a room, it's a mimic."
"Hey Nendra, whats a Shoggoth?"
"This is the only non-haunted bathroom at the entire school" "Who's that bleeding girl in the mirror?" "Lolth damnit!"
"And here's the mad science room, remember: only you can prevent eldritch horrors from entering this reality."
"This is a room full of spiders."
"This is where we keep the- RUN!"
Kitten pens, stay out!
"This is the bookball field, the traps were a necessary addition."
"This is an enormous churchbell. Actually, i'm not sure why we have that."
The tour ended at the entrance to a large cave on the outskirts of the school grounds. "Okay lady Marlene Marrowgrinder, the knight who might take you in,lives in there , do you think you could go in by your self, i kinda have t-" Then an expensive leather shoe struck Nendra square in the face. "Run, gotta run, hope to see you later, bye Darling" with that Nendra skittered away, as fast as her 8 legs could carry her.
Around the corner came 2 elf girls, both black skinned and white haired like Nendra, but with vicious smiles on their faces. The girl on the left spoke "where did that disgusting drider go. Hey Nendra, come on out, it's only good for you. Hey new girl, did you see where the drider went?" Darling was about to yell at the girls when another voice beat her to it. "FILTHY MAGGOTS THE LOT OF YOU! LET THE POOR GIRL REST OR GODS BELOW I WILL FEED YOU YOUR OWN ENTRAILS!" The 2 girls took one terrified look at each other then ran.
Moments later a suit of heavy, black and very spiky armor came storming out of the cave, the earth rumbling as the heavy sabatons slammed against it. After a The armor (and supposedly the person inside of it) stopped up at the top of a nearby hill, and threw a non commital fireball vaguely in the direction of the fleeing girls. The helmet was slowly removed revealing a woman with flowing, scarlet hair, and a predatory look on her face. She turned to look at Darling, revealing a scar going from her left eyebrow down to her cheek. "You're either not smart enough to run, or you're the wretch the Painted Lady want's to make my squire. Please be the first, cause i'm really in the mood to gut someone."
A bit taken aback, but not one to stammer, Darling answered in a clear, concise, and scared manner. "Sorry lady Marrowgrinder, but i'm Darling Charming, and i was hoping to become your squire." Marlene made a cry that would make a banshee jealous "You beastlings are all the same! Wouldn't know honor if it slapped you in the face! Believe me, i've tried! Why does that damned lich keep trying to get me to train some arrogant and sadistic hellspawn. Wait, what was your name again? Charming? As in prince Charming? why do you wanna become a dark knight?" "Well, actually i want to become a hero, but to do that i need work experience and long story short here i am." You could hear the gears turning in Marlenes, as she squinted at Darling.
"So… you're not evil?" "Nope" "No convoluted revenge plots" "None that i know off." "No interest in burning their friends, salting their houses, or kidnapping their fields?" "No, no and no" Darling just managed to register the "MINE!" outcry, before she was pulled into a bear hug from Lady Marlene Marrowgrinder. "All mine! congratulation Darling, you're my squire. no you don't get a say in the matter. Oh this is gonna be great, i can teach you all the virtues of dark chivalry, then you can totally betray me once you graduate, and you can go out and save the world, and we can duel over a volcano! we're gonna be the best frienemies! When can you start?"