A/N I have no idea why I'm doing this, but here goes. I'm removing my unfinished stories. I am no longer inspired to write them anymore. I've decided to start a new one. I'm not sure how often I will get to update this, but I will try my best to update sort of frequently. I have a crazy busy schedule with my thesis and all, so it keeps me pretty busy. This is a nice outlet though, so we shall see. I really hope you enjoy my story, and please feel free to let me know what you think. Reviews deffinitly modivate me to write more quickly. I first off want to apologize for any formatting strangeness. I am a blind writer, and use a screen reading program to use my computer. It doesn't really tell me how the formatting looks, so if stuff looks wonkey, I'm truly sorry. I also always run spell and grammar checks, but again, the screen reader doesn't always pick everything up so if you find anything, lemme know. thanks, R/R and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own escaflowne, although I wish I did.

*beep…beep…. beep…* She could hear the alarm ringing, but really wanted to ignore it. These days, sleep was a wonderful thing. It was the only time she felt okay. The only time life seemed worth it. Maybe it was because it was the only time she didn't feel trapped in the world she was currently living in. Maybe it was because it was the only time, aside from musical theatre events that she enjoyed who she had become. Sleep was a lot like musical theatre, she could drift away, be something new, not worry about what was really happening around her.

She rolled out of bed and flicked the switch on her alarm to quiet the intense beeping. She sat up, placed her feet on the floor, and gave a big sigh. today would be the same as every other day, get up, eat, go to work with a bunch of stuffy people she didn't like very much, come home late because work takes up all of her time, eat something, probably a frozen dinner, and sleep again. Every day was like this since she found out his secret. Every day was like this since he destroyed her life. Before he wrecked everything, she was happy. She felt like she had had a purpose.

She had met him at a young age. They were best friends, and completely inseparable. Her mother believed that he would be the one to marry her, and so did his parents. They acted together in school plays, ran lines every night. She had shared all of her dreams with him. The dream to become an actress on the stage. He was one of the few who had believed in her whole heartedly. He would listen to her stories about what it would be like for them. They would be on many a world stages together. Him always playing her love interest, or some other such role that she wanted him to fit in according to the way she felt that day. He always giggled with her about this, agreeing all of the time. He loved to see her happy. Even when they were young children, it was the one thing that made him happy because his home life was terrible.

He came from a broken home. His father had left his mother at a young age. He had had an affaire on her with some pretty young thing at his work. His mother was left alone to raise him and his older sister. Their lives would change. With the loss of his father came the loss of their rich and famous lifestyle. The loss of the nice house in the city suburbs. Now they lived in a small apartment in a building in the inner city. He didn't totally regret this, because that was when he had met her. Even though they were so young, he knew she was perfect. She was the first person to talk to him when he started at the new school. She sat with him on the school bus when he looked so sad and alone. They must have only been 9 or 10. For some reason he couldn't remember the age for sure. She had sat down, grabbed his hand and asked "Why are you so sad?"

He had looked in to her pretty green eyes, and knew that she was a real friend. He wasn't sure how, but he knew he could trust her. He told her about his mother and father, how his mother was having it hard, how she was always so sad and angry now. How she shut both him and his sister out of their world, and turned to drugs. He told her of the fights that lead up to the affaire, about his life before this tiny apartment in the inner city. She listened, and within weeks, they were like brother and sister.

Her family had accepted him to the fullest. They gave him a place to stay when times were tough, taught him about what it felt like to be loved again. Showed him that riches and lavish lifestyles weren't everything. He had loved her mother more than he had loved his own mother. Everything was perfect back then. Now as she sat there sighing, things would never be perfect, and her life of routine would stay the same. Not because of the world itself, but because she believed she could never change it. She had given up on everything, love, her dreams, her life.

She dressed for the day. She always dressed the same, mostly in black, but with enough other colors to offset it to not alarm anyone at work. That and it probably would look strange if all of a sudden she started showing up completely dressed in black everyday. She was a social worker at a local office until recently when she was promoted up the ranks to a case management position. She now worked with all of the other case load managers who were nothing like her. They were all stuffy, and felt that they were better than everyone else that existed in the world. She couldn't help but wonder how it was they managed to ever help anyone of lower status, but she knew they had to to get to the position they were in.

She ascended the stairs to the lower floor of her small home. It use to be their home, and as her eyes shifted to their wedding picture, she stopped. She had forgotten to remove it. How could she forget that? How had she not noticed it until now? He had been gone for a month now, and somehow she seemed to miss that photo hanging there in the hallway. Her heart dropped in to the pit of her stomache, and before she knew what she was doing, she leaped down the last 2 steps, grabbed the picture off the wall, and threw it across the room, shattering the frame in to tiny shards. That was what he had done to her. Shattered her heart in to small shards. He had destroyed everything they had ever had, and left her alone in the world with nothing or no one to comfort her.

She managed to make it to the couch before exploding in to a ball of sobs. Still to this day she couldn't figure out where she went wrong. Everything in the relationship had been a ferry tale for so long. They were good friends for many years before they started dating in high school. When they were in high school, they were the most talked about couple. Everyone knew they would be married, and live their lives together. They both went to theatre school after high school, and decided to marry. She went to a local university and took social work part time so she could have something to fall back on. They were beginning to live out their dreams. They were both getting signed to local shows, and seemed so happy. Then it happened. He came home, and broke her heart. As she sat their crying, the scene played over and over in her mind.

He had walked through the door, and it was very late. She was almost asleep in their bed on the second floor. something about his gait seemed strange to her, but she couldn't figure it out. She was always atoned to the strangest things. He came up the stairs, flicked on the lights, and plopped on the bed. Something definitely was going on, because he never did this. She abruptly sat up.

"Allen? Are you ok?"

"He shrugged, and looked her straight in the eyes. She knew this wasn't good.

"What's going on?"

Tomi, there's something you have to know."

Her heart dropped. She knew something was very wrong now.

"What is it, you know you can tell me anything."

He took a breath, and for an instant it caught in his throat before releasing it. The color drained from his face, and she could see him tensing and relaxing quickly.

"There's someone else."

the words rang through her ears, and cut her insides like a knife. She shouldn't be surprised, they had busy hours, her at the office a lot, him acting constantly, and her acting when she could. They hardly spent any time together, but they had been so perfect. The tears begin to fall like rain. Before she could say anything he approached and tried to hold her. She pushed away, raised her hand and slapped him in the face.

"Don't touch me,"

The words came out like stone. He flinched when she said them.

"Tomi, I'm really sorry, I never wanted it to be like this. It just happened, it started so innocent…

She cut him off.

"I said get out. Get out of my house, just leave!"

"Bu but, I want to explain!"

She turned her back to him. She didn't want to let him see her cry. She didn't want him to see her falling apart at the seems. He had been her entire life, and now, he found someone new?

"You've explained enough! Just go! I don't need anymore explanations. Grab your shit, and go!"

He knew better than to disobey her, so he quickly grabbed a few outfits of clothing out of the closet, his stuff from their room, and left her alone. She heard the door close quietly downstairs a few minutes later, and she broke in to the longest and loudest cries of her life. She was crying now like she had then, and it haunted her. How could she not be over this?

She had to pick herself up, put on a happy face and go to work. She managed to do just that after a few minutes of crying. She reapplied her make-up, grabbed a granola bar for breakfast, got in to the car, and drove to work as if nothing had happened that morning. She had no idea of what would be waiting for her when she arrived at work that day…

TBC…