A Chansey's Lament

You know, there's an awful stigma to being a "shiny" Pokemon.

My trainer, she's a bit of an oddball. She uses only "shiny" Pokemon. Now, don't get me wrong; she loves us. Really! She takes very good care of us, and she trains us well. The only thing is, other trainers just don't see it like her. They take one look at a Pokemon like me and say, "Isn't Chansey supposed to be pink? What's wrong with its ears? Is it sick or something? What did you do to it?" It's a rough life.

My pal Laurie-- that's Eevee--his fur is redder than most of his kind, and thicker too. I guess you could say that we aren't really "shiny" Pokemon in the usual sense. We're actually unusual varieties of our own species. My trainer has a Pigeotto, Swoop, as well and he's--get this--gold! Now, me, I think brown instead of gold is a nice change for his feathers. My trainer thinks he's really cool. He's proud of his color himself, for crying out loud!

You'd think that other trainers would get the message. You'd think they'd just say, "Oh, yeah, that's neat," and let us beat them. We're very powerful, you know. Of course, that just makes it worse. They think that my trainer--I don't know--genetically enhanced us or something. It's a real problem for us. If she hadn't taken Radish--that's our resident purple Oddish--off of that one trainer, the poor thing probably would have been abandoned.

My trainer's nice, but she does have some weird tastes. She tells us that we're beautiful, that we look better the way we are. Well, maybe she's right and maybe she isn't, but the other thing about her-- she gives the weirdest names to all of her Pokemon. There's Laurie, Swoop, and Radish, that I already mentioned, but they have pretty normal names compared to the rest of us. You see, she trains tons of Pokemon. She switches teams every once in a while so we all get experience. It took her a while to get so many "shiny" or unusual Pokemon, but she did it.

For instance, me. I'm one of her favorites, and one of her first, so she usually takes me everywhere. Of course, a pastel yellow male Chansey named Note is bound to attract attention. I mean, come on! "Note?" What kind of a name is that? Not that I don't like it. I think it's fine, but other people just think it's weird. And yes, you read correctly. I said male Chansey. What, you thought that a species could have all female members? Come on! Only stupid trainers believe that rumor. We male Chanseys are very rare, and females are almost always produced from eggs. You think that male Chanseys would look silly, what with the frilly ears? That's just the thing off it. We look different. No egg pouch, for one thing, and our ears are shaped more like a beagle's than a female Chansey. So people really think something is wrong with me.

My trainer loves Chanseys. She almost collects them. The thing of it is, we male Chanseys generally don't have Special stats as high as a females, but our stats overall are even, and pretty good too. So people are real surprised when I attack or defend and do really well. That means that, even if she's carrying all Chanseys, as long I'm with the party, she's got a trick up her sleeve. I guess you could say that I'm the weirdest of the bunch, since I contradict a lot of common beliefs about Chanseys. But you know what? My trainer doesn't think so, so I don't really care too much. But boy, do people stare!

Author's note: Yes, I know that in the games there are only female Chanseys, like Jynx and Tauros have only one gender in their species. Don't you think that's a little bit impossible, though? It makes no sense. Natural selection would never produce such a thing. Maybe I'm overanalyzing this, but all the same. The trainer is slightly in mockery of me in my original Red version, because I gave the strangest names to my Pokemon (I really did have a Chansey named Note, and since that was back before they gave individual Pokemon genders with the exception of the Nidorans, I always thought of it as male.), and also because I had about seven Chanseys. They were so cute, and I had multiplied Masterball with the Missingno code, so...you see the problem. Thanks for reading! Subieko