***Hello, My name is Kyle. I'm also known as: asyoucanseeihaveaverylongname. If you like the story, I only ask that you give me a review. If you hate the story with every fiber of your being, also review. I can only improve if I know where and how I fucked up. Now enjoy, you incest shipping freaks! …What!? I never said I wasn't a bloody hypocrite!***
CHAPTER ONE – THE RETURN
After the day long road trip, Dipper's eyes finally opened. Just starting to regain consciousness, he wearily scanned the bus for signs of life, only to find his sister: Mabel Pines. She was his best friend, and his greatest ally. They were two peas in a pod, two birds of a feather, the last two ice cubes sitting at the bottom of your now empty glass of scotch! Together, they were unstoppable! Sure, they technically started the apocalypse last summer, but they sure as hell finished it! Well, kind of.
Dipper was immediately torn from his thoughts, when his sister's head fell from his shoulders, onto his lap. He looked down, and smiled warmly. "Awwww, she's actually kinda cute when she's sleeping." The boy thought to himself, cheeks turning a soft shade of pink.
"Whoa!? Where the hell did that come from?! I can't think about shit like that, this is Oregon, not Kansas! But he couldn't help but stare again and again. He gently started to run his fingers through her soft, brown hair. Then he realized what he was doing. Before he had time to scold himself again, the bus came to a screeching halt. Mabel was flung off of Dipper with incredible force, landing on the cold, hard floor. "We're here! Now get off of my bus!" the driver yelled. Dipper helped up his bruised twin, with a look of concern in his eyes. "It's okay, Dip, I'm fine."
As they hopped off of the vehicle, Dipper glared at the bus driver. "Thanks for the ride, asshole. I hope you crash into a fucking tree!" he screamed as the bus drove away.
*CLICK* "What the-" he muttered as he turned his head. "The first time my boy swears in rage, priceless!" a familiar old man declared as he lowered the camera. "Grunkle Stan!" the siblings cheered in unison, pulling him into a vice-like hug. "Jesus, kids, don't kill me yet! I still got, like, 20 something years left! And holy cow! You've only been gone for nine months, and you come back almost as tall as me!" "And I got my braces removed!" Mabel enthusiastically chimed in, displaying her new smile. "So how're you brats doing, anyway?" "Glad to be back." Dipper replied.
The trio made their way back to the Mystery Shack. "Sure glad ya came back, we were starting to get really bored around here." Dipper opened the door and walked inside. How amazing it was to finally step back in. Everything was just as they had left it, including the old, comforting smell. As Stan and Mabel walked in, she asked "Where is everybody, anyway?"
Then, it happened. "SURPRISE!" Everyone jumped out, dressed in "Welcome Home" t-shirts. The twins ran over and hugged them all. "My goodness, you've grown like weeds!" Grunkle Ford observed. Wendy approached Dipper with a look of amused disbelief. "Damn, son! Keep going, and you'll be my height next summer! It's good have you back, man." she said, punching his shoulder. "It's good to see ya, too." "So, how's my hat doing? Sure looks good on ya!" "Thanks." Dipper replied, punching her shoulder. Mabel crept up behind Wendy, and pulled her into the usual death grip.
"So, Dipper, ya discover any anomalies in Piedmont?" Ford inquired. "Aside from principle Allan's fake hair, and a fossilized T-Rex tooth, not really." "That's my boy." Ford replied, taking a swig off of a small, green bottle. "What's that you're drinking?" "Dipper, this is the strongest liquor that the hillbillies of this town could make. Wanna sip?" "Nah, I'm good." "Suit yourself, kid." Ford takes another swig and goes to greet his niece. "Hey, Mabel." "Sup, Fordsie?" She responded, high-fiveing his six fingered hand. "Keeping your brother out of trouble?" "Yup, as always!" "Hey, I see the braces are gone!" "Yeah, we actually had them pulled about a week ago." "Keep growing, kiddo, and I'll have to beat the guys off of ya with a broom!" he lovingly said, patting her back. "For the men today, you might wanna use your gun." Mabel remarked.
"Hey, dudes!" the fat, buck-toothed man-child chimed in. "Hey, Soos! How's being manager of the shack?" asked the young lad. "It's a dream come true! Plus, I make more money!" "And nothing's greater than dreams and money!" Mabel barged in. "What about knowledge, family, and...love?" Dipper retorted, blushing a tiny bit on the last one. "Well, them, too, silly!" she responded. Dipper wrapped his arm around her shoulder, squishing their faces together. "Mabel, this summer is gonna rock!" Mabel smiled and poked him on the nose. "Is it just me, or does Dipper look cuter than usual?...Nah, it's kinda weird to think about your brother like that." she thought, as she gave him the boop on his nose.
***So, how was it? Pretty good? At least ok? A pile of literary shit? Cast your judgment in the review! -Kyle***