"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Wind. It flew by Bucky's ears rapidly, and it was so cold. It was before - but she's falling - and it is bone-chilling. Tears start streaming down her face, and the brunette continues to scream as she falls farther and farther from Zola's Train.
Steve didn't catch Bucky. His hand didn't reach her. She is going to die.
Bucky flails around in the air as she free falls, screaming and crying. She knows she's going to die, and a million different things are running through her head. There's so much she hasn't done, so many things she has yet to see and do.
The tears are falling off of her from the wind, and Bucky feels helpless. It's hard to believe that you're going to die one day. Simply cease to exist and move on to whatever is waiting for you in the afterlife. Assuming there is one. Bucky doesn't believe in God. She used to, when she was young and naive, but these days she hasn't the time nor faith to. After all the things she's seen, the brunette cannot believe that their God is so cruel that he stands idly by as people die and children starve.
But now that she's falling to her death, Bucky does say a pray. It's only a bit, because of the fact she hasn't said it in so long and the fact she is falling to her death. Hail Mary, full of grace, she prays.
Those other millions upon millions of thoughts race through her head. Bucky is suddenly angry. Angry at God, at the world, at herself, at Steve.
Steve.
Oh, how he will mourn her. But that's not what Bucky is thinking about. No, she's blaming him. She's never been this angry with the blond, and that's understandable, because she is falling to her death. Bucky is furious, and she screams in rage. Though, the brunette cannot hear her own voice over the sound of the wind, and she closes her eyes finally.
Bucky knows that she can't blame Steve. She was the one who picked up that shield and got shot. But he was supposed to catch her. After decades upon decades of looking after him, fighting for him - and now with him - and sacrificing things for him left and right, this is how she gets re-payed.
Though, she's coherent enough to know that she doesn't want to die in rage, and takes a breath. The air is frigid and impossible to take in now, and Bucky sputters. She wonders how much longer it will be until she hits the ground, still crying shamelessly.
A distant part of her realizes that she's pissed herself - What would you expect? She's falling to her death - but Bucky's mind is mainly focusing on flashing memorizes behind her eyelids. Bucky has always wondered if that actually happened; if your life 'flashed before your eyes' or if that was simply made up by Sci-Fi comics. But no, it's true, and the women watches her life pass before her.
There's so much fear inside of her. Fear of dying, fear of being sent to Hell - Perhaps even a fear of not dying instantly. Bucky wants that, if she does have to die. She'd hate calling for help for hours or days as she lays on the icy ground without a leg or an arm. She'd hate dying slowly from starvation, or waiting to bleed out as the snow turns red around her. Though, Bucky isn't a saint, and she supposes that she probably deserves that. But no one actually wants a slow death.
As the air continues to fly by her, and the brunette cries, she thinks of Steve finally. About how she's leaving him; about how won't ever see him again; about how much he'll miss her; about how she loves hims.
Bucky had sent him letters before he rescued her from Zola's Table, and one of those was in case she ever died. That letter will automatically be sent when Steve reports her death, and it will end up at their apartment, where Steve was supposed to be. Bucky doesn't know if he'll somehow get it before then, because he's in the army now, or if he won't get it at all. After all, why would you need a letter to inform you of your loved one's death when you witnessed it first hand?
She has to be closed the ground by now, and it's very cold. Bucky is still screaming and crying as she falls. Steve didn't catch her, but that's okay. Bucky is useless now, anyway. Steve isn't small like he was before, he's Captain America. Now all Bucky really is is a sidekick. She's served her purpose, and now the brunette is content with her story ending here. We all have an ending, and apparently this is Bucky's.
Steve will mourn her terribly, Bucky knows, but that other woman - Peggy - she'll help the blond through his loss. It won't matter that him and Bucky planned to get houses next to each other. It won't matter that he'll win the war. It won't matter that Peggy and Steve will get married and have kids. It won't matter that Steve will forget about Bucky one day. Now, as the wind roars past her ears, Bucky knows that none of that matters.
Because Bucky is falling; and Steve didn't catch her.