Prompt: life affirming sex
Going back in time and meeting his parents when they were barely older than teenagers did many things to him. It made him see that there was no getting out of the life he had. There was no beating destiny.
It also made him realize there were things going on around him, things with his brother and the world, that he didn't know, didn't understand.
Thinking about these things made him feel a little sick, but they needed to be considered.
The other thing his trip reminded him of was the last time he'd been in his hometown.
With Emily.
It was the last time he'd been with anyone he'd remotely cared about, the last time he'd shared anything more than the physical with another person.
He'd made love to her that night like the dying man he was.
And in the morning, he'd driven away without as much as a goodbye. He'd never called her again. He'd done his best to put her out of his mind. There was no point in wishing for things he could never have.
Unfortunately, no matter how hard he tried to push her out of his mind, she always seemed to crawl back in.
Now, he was back and alive.
Nothing else had changed. The world was still a mess; he was still a hunter on the verge of dying everyday.
Then there was his brother who had demon powers, and the coming apocalypse.
Not the best time for him to go, find the girl he abandoned and start things up again.
If he could even start things up. She might take one look at him and slam the door in his face.
He should just leave it alone and get back to the serious business at hand. God only knew, seriously only God knew when that Angel would show up again.
He'd forget Emily. He wouldn't even call her.
He certainly wouldn't go to Lawrence to see her.
He woke Sam up at six am the next morning. They were on their way to Lawrence by 6:45.
&&&&&&
He waits outside her dorm room for hours, until he begins to feel a little delirious. So delirious that when she does round the corner with her friend he can do nothing more than just stand there and stare.
She stops about a foot from him, her eyes widening as she saw him.
"You're….you're supposed to be dead."
"I was," he said, then glanced at her friend, "Figuratively…but then I…climbed my way out, with a little help of course."
Her friend nods, but eyes her friend warily, "Em, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm good, Susan, could you maybe…"
"Sure," she said, and then looked at Dean again, "Be careful."
Emily waited until Susan was far out of earshot and then she slapped him as hard as possible across the face.
"Ouch," he said, "What was that for?"
"That," she said, her eyes bright with anger, "That is for leaving in the middle of the night without saying good-bye."
"I was trying to make things easier on you. I had less than a year to live."
"And I knew that. You were honest with me; you told me that you were leaving the next day. Why did you have to sneak off in the middle of the night and leave me feeling like one of your one night stands?"
His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to ask how she knew about those, but she just said, "Oh please. Missouri's a mind reader and she liked to warn me about you a lot. I didn't care because I thought you actually cared about me."
"I did care. I do care, damn it. Why do you think I left? I couldn't stand saying good-bye to you. I couldn't stand leaving you so I ran away."
"You should have stayed and said goodbye." Her eyes aren't angry now, but they're still full of fire. He wonders for the first time if she really isn't going to forgive him.
Then her eyes darken to that unbelievable strength he saw when she demanded that he let her burn down the tree, "And if you ever leave me without saying goodbye again, I'll come and kill you."
He nods, "I promise."
She nods back at him…and then she jumps on him and kisses him like her life depends on it.
He knows his does.
&&&&&&
They stumble into her room, just barely managing to get the hair band thing on the doorknob before falling onto the bed. This is no slow, easy exploration the way their first time was. This is intense, fast and furious, clothes being torn off as they went at each other.
Emily wore plain, white cotton beneath her sweater and it was sexier than any of the dirty, black numbers the women he usually slept with wore. It just made him want to get rid of it faster, to feel her soft breasts beneath his hands, to worship her with his mouth. His tongue moved over her breast, circling until his teeth were around her nipple, making her sigh and whimper.
"Dean," Emily's nails dug into his neck, scraping over his hair, and making him growl. Her fingers pulled at his shirt and he pulled back just long enough to get it off. Then it was a race to get their jeans off. Finally, he gave up, standing and pulling the rest of his clothes off before helping with hers.
Naked, condom in his hand, they pressed together, Dean nearly desperate at this point, his hand moving between her legs, practically begging her to be ready for him.
"Now, Dean, right now," she moaned, and then he was pressing inside her.
"Em," he groaned as he sank all the way inside her. She felt so good, so…right. It was like coming home, even though he'd never really had a home before, "Emily."
"Dean, more," she whimpered and moved under him, urging him to go faster…deeper.
They moved together furiously, both of them needing to be one, to be as close as two people could possibly ever be.
Back with Emily, in her arms, Dean finally felt truly alive for the first time.