A/N: This is a crack fic, made for pure entertainment purposes and doing the dare that my friend, MuseGirltheauthor, gave me purposes only. I do not actually believe Set acts like this. People would think I had issues if I did. O_o And if he really did act like this… *shivers and gets weirded out* Yup, he's OOC(out of character), but that makes it more funner! ((Yeah, I know that's not a word.)) Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I, Apollo Fowl II, do not own the Kane Chronicles in any way, shape or form. *sigh* I probably couldn't have written it any better anyways! :)
Emails to Set ….and Other Such Things
I was curious of Set's thought on how he was portrayed in the Kane Chronicles and a few other things, so I decided to ask him. I knew it would piss him off anyway. And annoying gods is always fun! These are the emails I sent to him, and the replies he sent back. I apologize for his, um…. Language.
And for the record, my letters are in normal font, and his are in italics. We clear?
Good! :D
Dear Set,
What do you really think of the way you were used by Apophis through Face-of-Horror? Were you offended? Did you feel honored? Yeah right... Please do tell.
-Apollo Fowl II
Dear Fowl,
You are as bad as your name sounds. Did you know that? And for the record, I knew all along that it was him. I was just... Playing along so I could defeat him and earn eternal glory and become king later on. And call me Rocking Red Reaper.
-Rocking Red Reaper
Dear Set,
I will not call you 'Rocking Red Whatever'. And I know you are lying! Tell the truth! It might come back to haunt you if you don't! O_o Karma will get you! If not Karma, then Eris or Nemesis will. Or the Greek goddess of truth, Alethea. She does not like lying... Trust me.
-Apollo Fowl II
Foul,
Did you like the way I spelled your name? :P That is the truth! I am really that awesome. They will sure make me king now! Then I will Ha-di you into the deepest depths of the Duat. Now go eat a shoe.
-Rocking Red Reaper
Strawberry Set-cake,
*Alethea pops up and smacks Set across the face* "Do not lie!" Thanks Alethea! "No problem! *glares at Set and poofs back to Olympus*" And wow, some ego you got there, Set... Just warning you, I have your secret name and I will use it! And no one believes your pathetic excuse. Now man up and spill!
-Apollo Fowl II
Birdbrain,
I will not. That is the truth. I. Am. Awesome. Now please ask about something else. I have many more nicknames for you... Mwahahaha!
-Rocking Red Reaper
Little Red Riding Hood,
I have more brain cells and insults than ten of you. So don't even try to go there. And Horus has a bird head too. He is pretty cool. Unlike some red god I know... *points at Set* Next question? Hm… How do you feel about Carter and Sadie technically being your nephew and niece, respectively? And Julius being your brother?
-Apollo Fowl II
Foul Person,
You know there is a gay super hero named Apollo? *smirks*
-Rocking Red Reaper
Red Rover,
There is? And I'm a girl...
-AF II
The Second Loser,
O_o WTF? Then why is your name Apollo?
-RRR
Mocking Red Creeper,
Language, Creeper! Ever heard of a pseudonym? *rolls eyes* I don't go marching around like a total dolt, telling people my real name! Unlike you, Evil Day.
-AF II
Polly Pocket,
Did Carter and Sadie Kane tell you that?
-RRR
Tomato Face,
Maybe they did, maybe they didn't. They are way nicer and cooler than you. Now you never told me your opinion on them. Since they are technically your niece and nephew, and all.
-AF II
Little Miss Sun Spot,
Let's see... Sadie Kane is a bossy little girl with really jacked up hair and a funny accent. Carter Kane is a know it all who really tanks at basket ball. I mean, seriously? I bet even I could beat the boy! They think they are all that because they are Kanes and the beat me once. I may be sworn not to hurt them, but I can still annoy the ba out of them.
-RRR
Cherry Bomb,
I just noticed something!
-AF II
Miss Un-hai-kool,
*unenthusiastically* What?
-RRR
Leroy the First,
Your opinions suck. I'm leaving somewhere where I will hopefully never hear you or your messed up opinions ever again.
-Apollo Fowl II
Apollo Fowl II has removed you from her contact list
Poetr-idiot,
No! MY opinions are beast! I will become ruler of the gods and Ha-di you into the Duat, Fowl!
-RRR
Apollo Fowl II has blocked you
On Apollo Fowl II's FanFiction Forum
HA! Now you can't avoid me!
You have been banned from Apollo Fowl II's forum
Time Period: Forever
*scowls*
Rocking Red Reaper is out.
I hope this made you guys laugh. That was one heck of a dare! :D Don't like it? Don't review! Simple as that. Thank you for reading this and I will cherish each and every one of your reviews.
Peace
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Fin
- Apollo Fowl II