Disclaimer: I do NOT own Kaito or anything that infringes copyright... But the plot belongs to me
A somewhat Gakupo x Kaito fanfiction~
My entire body felt as heavy as lead, having to drag my entire body along the grass irritated both my skin and wounds greatly, leaving trails of blood in my wake.
My face had a deep wound from a cut I got when I crawled through a small hole in the barbed fence, the merciless wires piercing deep into my undernourished skin, and a thick liquid surfaced on my ghastly pale cheeks. On my cracked lips, I could taste the all too familiar iron-rich liquid. The scent, the taste, the feel, the sight of blood was all too much common for me, it has already almost become an everyday sight to me.
My hands, my legs, were filled with numerous wounds that cut deep into my flesh, so deep that I could see the hard and white ceramic poking out from within. Blood was dripping in such quantity; I could feel my consciousness already slipping away from my grasp, like a rock perched on a razor sharp tip of a rock, swaying ever so gently in the cold wind. If the draconian wind blew even a little harder, the rock will fall and asunder into countless uneven pieces.
I could feel a sharp pain shooting through my entire body at an uncanny speed every time I moved. A few of my bones were broken, I guessed. It wasn't that big of a deal yet, since it were just the elbow joint, a small ribcage bone, and a few finger bones. I should count myself lucky that my leg muscles are still tough enough to protect my precious bones such that I could still move. It was really nothing, except the jabs of pain sent through my nerves with each single painstaking took steps that I had apparently, gotten used to well.
My head is getting darker and dizzy as double images of boundless greenery started to appear in my vision. Although not even having the energy to make my brain work on escaping the forest, I still continued to step forward to nowhere, driven by the mere desire to escape.
But each step took made my head worse. I'm, already, halfway to my grave already…
It's too late.
Is this the end?
Is this any meaning to me escaping from that hideous place of hell?
Escaping to just die in the end?
Was this really what I wanted?
Questions bombarded my consciousness I had left which I had been trying my ultimate best to hold on to desperately.
The questions came tumbling out as my last breath drew near.
Death.
That mere cold and unfeeling word was able to struck me with a fear that I have never experienced before.
Do I really want this?
Do I really wished for my death?
I felt even my long empty and cold heart shook violently at what was going to happen next.
I had finally escaped from that place that doesn't even deserve a single alphabet of 'Happy Orphanage'.
They should have chosen a better name.
H.E.L.L would had fit it a lot, lot better.
The orphanage's defenses were as tight as expected, befitting of the name 'The impregnable and inescapable Prison'.
It seemed ridiculous to be even think about escape, let alone acting it out.
Every painful day was spent gazing longingly at the meadow and forest on the other side of the hell, the birds chirping happily.
It seemed so free outside.
It was captivating.
I crumbled like a flimsy sheet of paper next to a huge oak tree, panting heavily and gasping for the fresh and oxygenated air of the forest.
The blood trail left behind by me shone softly in the setting sun, glowing in colours of orange and red, like an enchanting spell.
So I'm going to die like this?
My conscious fading away rapidly as seconds passed.
I bet they think I'm dead, seeing that nobody had been sent to chase.
I guess they were right huh.
They could just take another poor lamb that would be forced to succumb to them, instead of saving a useless me who retaliated violently against them. Even an idiot could see the better choice.
They weren't wrong anyway. They were unmistakably and painfully accurate.
I'm going to draw my last breath any time soon.
My chest heaved up and down, in sync with my short and deep breaths.
I couldn't even feel the pain that had been eating away at my consciousness anymore.
Pain, huh? What a cruel joke.
I could have laughed at my own pathetic state.
After escaping the hell where death was surely inevitable, I had just chosen to hurry my own death by attempting to escape.
And I even dragged him into this whole irreversible mess.
I'm the worst trash huh?
The best trash that ever existed.
No.
Trash couldn't even begin to describe me.
It would even be too much of a great honor to call me trash.
I'm nothing.
Just the name 'Kaito', the big big big big idiot that had escaped to eventually die shortly after.
I could only…. Be nothing…. Someone that shouldn't have been… born.
Why, tell me…. Why was…..even…I…
Someone… like me… born for?
The idiot me… that….was…..
abandoned from….birth…
It ….would… really…
Have ….been…
…. Better..
…. If I ….
... had…
Died.
A blinding flash of memory zoomed past my barely awake consciousness…
-Flashback-
'Gakupo! Gakupo!' I screamed out his name like someone calling out for the name of their lost beloved ones, their only light.
He was also, a speck of light to us in the abyss of darkness.
I screamed and screamed like there was no tomorrow, as he was dragged away ruthlessly back into the orphanage.
The guards looked at me like I was some piece of dirty garbage that should be buried deep within the dump to not be seen.
A dirty existence was denounced and disregarded.
My throat was aching and throbbing badly, but still, I continued to scream even though I knew it wouldn't change anything.
The guard grabbed me by the tip of his fingers, a plain and undisguised disgust plastered onto his face. My hands flapped everywhere desperately, as though trying to drag him with me in this futile escape.
My voice was completely hoarse until the guard decided that I was far too dam noisy for my own good and slapped my mouth tight. I could feel my lips swelling like sausages, but still, my cracking voice continued to scream out his name at the top of my lungs, seeping through that guards' rough fingers that held my mouth in captive.
Why did I screamed like it was the end of the world?
When his smiling face would never appear in front of me anymore.
I wanted to save him.
But the guard grabbed onto me with vice like strength, unwillingly to let me go.
No. That wasn't the reason.
I was just fearful.
I was selfish.
I didn't want to go back there anymore. That hellish place.
With that thinking, I abandoned you, just like how my nonexistent parents abandoned me.
I had the strength to help him, but I knew very well. I would never be able to escape again if I went back there.
I squinted my eyes shut, pondering heavily about whether to save or not. Beads of sweats covered my entire forehead as my decision was unclear. Freedom and Regret, or back to the old Hell life which I always hated and wanted to run away from. My choice had a predictable end to both of them. A life of regret or a life of hell.
'Kaito! Run and don't come back anymore!' A yell that shook away all my indecisiveness.
I bit into the hand grabbing onto me with all my strength, and the guard yelped in pain. His grip had only released for a split second, but that was enough for me to make a break for it. As my leg muscles kept on running and running, my head was nonetheless shouting without mercy at my useless and pitiful self who could only run away and at the back of my mind, it was telling me to run away, and yet, a desire to save Gakupo appeared out of nowhere.
I should have been happy that I escaped from that hell.
Should have.
But why am I feeling this way at this point of time?
It was already,too late to regret my choice or return anymore.
I'm already on the path of no return.
Running away, on this path of freedom in my grasp, with nothing but empty regrets awaiting my arrival at the end of the path.
It was hard to breath.
Something stuck in my throat was the reason.
The heavy pounding of my feet on the cold and hard Earth ground..
Heartbeat raising rapidly.
A splitting headache.
Swallowing my saliva.
The cool atmosphere.
A wet sensation in my eyes…
I will never forget this feeling.
Never.
Not until my death.
-End Flaskback-
End of Chapter 1