Alright. This may look familiar to some of you. It's a repost, only I got a BETA who helped me fix it up.
The day he asked her out it was raining outside and very gloomy. Luna had been staring out the windows at the top of the owlery wishing she could fly. She heard the door open and looked up in surprise. It was Harry Potter! Luna had been in love with Harry potter since her first year when she first saw him playing quidditch. He was so smooth and hot on his broomstick, she daydreamed about him all the time.
He waked up to her in his tight leather pants and Gryffindor red silk shit. She felt all week in the knees and had to lean against the wall to keep from swooning with her desire. Then he said all sexy and cool go to hogsmeade with me Luna. and she said yes and then he kissed her and it was the best hiss she had ever had. And then Harry left back to his dorm and she couldn't follow so she went to her room and told everyone that Harry potter loved her and was fating her. They all congratulated her and the girls made her all girly and not crazy like she was before.
Hey Luna" Harry said. Luna woke up from her daydream and was upset to find out that it wasn't real. Harry didn't love her, and he wouldn't let her in his hot bad ass leather pants or silky nice red shirt. In fact, he probably didn't even own leather pants. But what was in his pants... fuck Luna thought, that man had got to be well hung.
I mean really. It locked like a bludger shoved down his pants. It even twitched around like one. She mooned a little when she saw it. Are you alright Harry asked rushing to her side to see if she needed help b4 she feel out the widow. But Luna was a smart girl and she knew a chance when she saw it. No she said and collapsed onto him. Being a good Gryffindor he picked her up in his arms and curried her to the hospital wing. Then Harry went back to his dorm and forgets all about it. But he wasn't aloud to because Ginny saw him with Luna and was mad that he cheated on her with that psychopathic ravenclaw bitch.
Harry was sad that Ginny had dumper him a little but not really because she was annoying him b/c she never shut up and also because he thought it was time he start d8ing around. He was, after all, Harry fucking Potter. He could have his pick of the school, he was HOTT. The hottest boy in Gryffindor, that was for mother fucking sure. So he put on his sexy pants and decided to sneak to hogsmeade to strut his hot ass self around. So he used his too way mirror to contact Sirius (who btw isn't dead, okay guys? Let's just pretend the whole 5th book thing didn't happen... because it was sad and shit and Sirius is a GOD! SO there.) Sirius d said that he could sneak away for a bit to go sex up the town with him. So Harry snuck out to hogsmeade. But little did he know that LUNA had seen the whole thing form the veranda of her ravenclaw dorm and she decided to follow him
Luna snuck out of the ravenclaw dorm and went into hogsmeade to find Harry end seduce him with her female nine whiles. She finds him in the hags head bar and sees him shitting with serious (who isn't dead...OK guys...because it was sad and Sirius is a GOD! SO their) she went up to them and sat down and Sirius buys her a fire whiskey and she gets real drunk and then they were in the ally behind the three broomsticks and Harry took of her robes and Sirius was pushing at her special girly place with his man parts and she was crying no no don't and he did it any way and it hurt really bed and there was blood and she thought she wood die and it could never get worse and then Harry was poking a log against her ass and she cried and hi pushed it in and it was is giant fire hose peanuts she cried more and screened as loud as she could and fainted into the swirling red tinted black abyss of unconsciousness when she woke up she was naked and cold n all covered in blood and she cried and ran out into the street wear she fell into Ron Weasley and told him about her HORRIBLE VIOLENT RAPE. Then his kissed her and took her home and it was all better.