Evan Lorne wasn't really sure why they had this big event tonight that required everyone to dress up. And no, it didn't mean that the officers could wear their dress uniforms. They all had to get tuxes; he was sure the women of Atlantis had been behind it. He remembered Laura Cadman once remarking, "A man in uniform is a turn on; a man in a tux is downright sexy."

It had been enough to convince him, he reminisced with a smile.

During the party, someone -- was it Laura, he wasn't sure now -- had mentioned that they were starting to run out of napkins and asked if he would get some from the dining room. Evan couldn't remember why he'd agreed -- oh yeah, she'd said it with a Texan accent and he'd grinned like a schoolboy -- so he was walking down a corridor, holding a plastic wrapped package of napkins when he heard something fall.

Instantly he dropped the napkins and pulled out his 9 mil, safely hidden in the waistband of his pants -- just to be on the safe side, right? After all, everyone in the city had been ordered to attend, so any noise in the city of Atlantis was considered suspicious. The corridor turned just ahead and dead ended into a straight corridor.

Straight in front of him was a storage supply closet.

He moved closer and instantly stood still when he heard a muttered curse.

"Was that important?" a feminine voice quietly asked from inside the closet.

"Eeh. Nothing that I can't recreate," a rather arrogant voice replied.

"Oh. Okay, good--" and the woman's voice, who Lorne recognized with a slight groan, was abruptly cut off with a moan.

Embarrassed, Lorne smiled to himself and started to back away, tucking his weapon back in.

Until he heard --

"Lorne, what took you so long? Cadman sent me after you." John Sheppard offered in way of greeting.

"Oh, uh," he tried to say, glancing to the fallen napkins, "I just thought I'd heard something. Turned out to be nothing."

"Ah, okay." And then, just as the two of them fell silent, Evan heard another muffled moan from the closet. He tried to cough to cover it over, but John's ears were too sensitive. Glancing back at Lorne, he wryly said, "I think Dr. Keller needs to check your hearing, Lorne," and reached to open the closet.

Lorne quickly spun away as John backed up.

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa!" "Oh my God!" "Holy crap, McKay!"

And Lorne just cringed.

Dr. Rodney McKay and Dr. Jennifer Keller were standing inside the enclosed space, so close together that you couldn't fit a needle through. Rodney's jacket was lying on the floor next to Jennifer's shawl which had previously been covering her shoulders, left bare by the strapless satin gown. His bowtie was undone and laying around his shoulders. His hands were lost in her hair and hers were tightly woven around his neck. An Ancient looking device of some type was laying on the floor, obviously not in its original state.

They both looked up rather sheepishly, and Lorne smiled at them sympathetically.

They disengaged their hands and both cleared their throats, both turning to face the officers. "Umm, hi, John," Rodney squeaked.

Jennifer covered her mouth and chuckled, looking away.

John's expression was priceless. It bordered on shock, anger, disbelief, complete and utter fright, and some other things that probably didn't have a name yet.

"Hi, Rodney," John replied through gritted teeth, trying not to smirk at him.

Rodney clasped his hands together in front of him as Jennifer crossed her arms, chewing nervously on a nail. "Enjoying the party?" he asked with a lifted smile on his face.

"Well I was." Throwing a sideways glare at Lorne, he added, "Thanks for telling me."

Lorne bowed out, picked up the napkins, and headed back to the event.