SSA Jennifer Jareau could hear the sound of laughter in her office. She stood up and went to the window and the saw the six team members laughing with each other, so oblivious to her presence. It had been like this for the past two months, since the team had found out she had lied to them about Emily being dead. If she really thought about it, she knew that it was her fault that all this had happened.
It was she who had lied to them to them about their friend being dead. It was she who had told them that Emily had not made it off the table. She had the power to take their pains away and yet she had not. She had let them believe that their friend was dead. She had never once had the courage to them Emily was alive because she was trying to protect Emily from Doyle. She'd do anything to keep Emily safe even if it meant keeping secrets from the very people she loved so much.
She had known the team would be angry with her but she hadn't thought that it would take them so long to forgive her. She and Hotch had known about Emily's situation, though Hotch had not known all the details of the situation. He had been there for her whenever she had needed the support or someone to talk to. And she had been the one to insist that she tell the team because the team needed to trust their leader.
But she hadn't thought that after the truth will be out, there will be tension between everyone. It was understandable that Morgan and Reid were angry with her. She had known that it would take the two of them sometime to forgive her. But she had thought that at least Garcia would understand her but what she hadn't counted on her being angry with her, giving her the cold shoulder. Rossi was still treating her same though she was aware that he was spending more time with the others. And Hotch couldn't help but not talk with her. Everytime he did, he would receive glares from the team.
And Emily was too busy with the other members of the team, going out for drinks, luncheons and everything and anything that they organized for her. JJ couldn't help but wonder the last time she had been there enjoying with her friends.
She had lost them. She had lost all her friends and she her family. The very people she had loved and came to care for them had left her. And it was all her fault. Will had left a month after the truth had come out, taking Henry with him, saying that he didn't want his son growing up with a mother who was always absent, who was a liar. And she was expected to sign the divorce papers in another month's time.
She hadn't said a word about it to anyone, though she was aware that she was supposed to inform her boss about the change in her relationship but she hadn't. She hadn't even mentioned it to Strauss, knowing that it would come back to Hotch eventually. So she had remained quiet and hadn't said anything.
It was her fault.
She had lost everything because of her own decisions.
And she was expected to live with it.