This story is written in the first person. As such the grammar reflects a person who is speaking in the first person and not as a person who is dictating to an official scribe to write things down for posterity, and may contain fragments that are actually part of a thought process as a whole. If this causes you distress then please place this book down on your list of things to read latter and start with a "Dick and Jane Reader"… See Dick Run.

I apologize if I seem in a foul mood… Four big strong assholes tried to kill me today. Under the circumstances I think I'm doing well.

My mother was Deidre, princess of Amber, Sister of Corwin.

My dad's a bit more complicated than that.

Step number one: Get through the pattern. I put the trump that my mother had left me back in the deck. It was a trump of the pattern itself. Now I saw before me the actual Pattern. It was Corwin's pattern, A duplicate, and restored, version of the original pattern that lay beneath Castle Amber.

If you don't know what I'm talking about then go to, .org/wiki/The_Chronicles_of_Amber, and call me in the morning.

As good as the trump was… to see it in person was like going from black and white to 3D in high definition. It was magnificent. Here was my chance. I had thought it through several times. My mother had laid out a plan of attack for me but as much as I had thought about it I couldn't find any faults with it. Not that I thought mom had it in for me… I did however make a few modifications. What the hell?

I turned my IPod onto "you're a crazy bitch" and took my first step on the pattern. It worked. I wasn't dead. That was a huge relief. Almost so much so that I almost forgot to keep moving, in which case I would be dead anyway. The experience was what I would expect liposuction to be like. I was being stripped away of parts of my body and soul, flesh and blood, with every step. Painful is an accurate word for the experience but it lacks intensity. More like going to a biopsy on your testicles, by was of you're spinal column. I fought back the urge to hurl and to give up. I figured that if I was going to go down I was going to do it falling forward. Then I broke through the first veil. I finished the first veil with the IPod on "for those about to rock" by ACDC.

The pattern had stripped away a plethora of bad body habits. My weight was where it should be, my diabetes, asthma, and a couple of other things were gone. The Pattern had given me a reboot of my ability to regenerate with a little head start.

I felt good. As I started the second veil it was more difficult than the first, but my strength had increased much more. Piece of cake. My IPod was on "waiting for the hammer to fall" by Queen.

3rd veil. So much for the piece of cake. My shoes had turned to lead. Each step was beginning to get heavier and heavier. Sparks around me were beginning to burn my nostrils and lungs. They weren't doing much for my eyes either. My IPod seemed to be stuck on "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" by Smashing Pumpkins.

4h veil. I was back to the going out by falling forward concept. My IPod was on "The Final Countdown" by Europe. As I negotiated the pattern my IPod choose songs such that I began to see a pattern forming. Pun most definitely intended.

Through. I did in fact fall forward. Face first. My now quite broken nose was a painful reminder that I hadn't really trained or prepared for this. Normally walking the Pattern requires a fair amount of preparation. I made it. Hell yeah!

That's when I noticed the four assholes running the pattern right behind me. A-hole's number 1 and 2 were on the second veil already, while A-hole 3 was on the first, and A-hole 4 was just starting. These were the same four A-holes I had ditched at my place. I had used the trump of the pattern, like mom's letter had suggested, but these four bloodhounds were good. How they found me so quickly I had no idea.

My IPod was now playing "Two Minutes to Midnight" by Iron Maiden.

How did they find me that damn fast? They had walked the pattern in Amber just after I had disappeared. Once they got to the center the pattern would send them to anywhere they desired. That's how the got to this pattern, my uncle Corwin's pattern. I knew this to be fact. Fatigue was setting in. I could see it in A-hole number 3. A hole number four was beginning to catch up to him. I wondered what would happen if the person in the lead suddenly failed to complete their next step and died in front of you.

I pulled out "my little friend" a 40 cal. Taurus semi-automatic pistol. I took a couple of shots at the lead guy, missed badly. My Taurus "24/7" was a good gun, but alas a 4" barrel handgun wont hit shit beyond 100 yards, no matter how good you are, and a moving target decreases that significantly.

The smart thing to do would have been to use the pattern for what I had originally intended to use it for. Get the hell out of Dodge. However, I wasn't known for doing the "smart" or "safe" thing.

A-holes 1 through 4 were all going to the same place. The center circle where I stood. That meant that they would all have to exit about three feet in front of me after a long had and tiring trek through the pattern, which was their second such feat in the same day. I was a pretty damn good shot with my pistol out to about 30 feet. I counted off the distance and fired a couple of shots just so I could get the ambience right. The pattern had given me an almost perfect sense of timing. I had about 92 seconds before A-hole #1 was in the kill zone.

I started to imagine a place, with every conceivable detail in my head. No sense in asking the Pattern to sending me to a random location after all.

71 seconds….

I added and subtracted from my mental image of the place I was to go. Refining this place in great detail, with a little bit of poetic humor to boot.

IPod: "Highway to Hell" by ACDC

30 seconds…

I swapped magazines to I would have a fresh one. One in the pipe, with fourteen in the magazine, I never keep a magazine loaded to its max. I value reliability, and prefer to have "non-sticky" magazines.

23 Seconds…

When A-hole number one got to the kill zone with A-hole 2 on his heals, I let loose. My shots rang true and my "21 gun solute" his their mark. The first shot hit A.H.#1 in the chest and I could see the look of panic on his face. He was no slouch though. Ten feet and 16 rounds latter he dropped, and A-hole number 2 stumbled on his body. I put two rounds in A.H.#2 s back for good measure. They both went up in flames, bright yellow and orange flames, with a hint of green at the base of the blaze. I had spent a lot of time living in Phoenix Arizona so the sudden rush of heat felt good against the cool 68 degrees of the Pattern's ambience. Two down two to go.

What happened next actually made me more concerned than before. AH#3 and 4 were right next to each other. That's when #3 turned a curve and doubled back towards #4 and then A-hole #4 took out a long curved blade with a weighted tip and cut #3 cleanly in half. By the time #4 caught up to the "remains" all he had to do was jump over the smoldering mess not about the size of a cherry bomb.

About 120 seconds till he reached me. The smart thing to do would be to go to the special place I had constructed in my mind, that the pattern was so conveniently obligated to send me to… and put distance between him and I. Then again I wasn't known for being smart, I preferred to live life on the edge of the envelope.

84 seconds

I did a round count. I redistributed my magazines, so I had 15 rounds ready and in my last magazine. I practiced counting so that I would squeeze off all 23 rounds and have at least six seconds to spare, including two seconds to change clips. With one second per round…

59 seconds

23+2+6 = 31 seconds… at A-hole #4's rate I would have to start shooting at about

31 seconds. Bang. Direct hit.

3o Bang. Miss, to far to the right

29 Bang. Left shoulder

28 Bang Center of mass

27 Bang, miss – Tried a head shot

26 Bang, grazed the skull… took off some left hear… nice, ineffective but nice

25 bang, miss – he was getting smarter, dodged to the right

24 bang, miss – damn he was good.

23 bang, miss – this wasn't his first time being shot at

22 bang, direct hit, center of mass

21 bang, direct hit, center of mass

20 bang, direct hit, center of mass

19 bang, direct his center of mass

18 why didn't he try to throw something at me… I thought must be tired.

17 got a good look though, it was taking a toll.

16 it occurred to me that this was enough lead at this range to drop a rhino… or at least a large pig.

15 Bang. Hit, forehead/top of the head. He now had a small reverse Mohawk for a haircut. Nice, but it just pissed him off.

14 Bang. Hit center of mass.

13 he had several wounds in his chest. I decided to dump the headshots and go for his wounded chest. He had to have a heart somewhere

12 Bang hit, center of mass. Magazine out

11 drop magazine

10 reload.

9 Bang, Bang, Bang just going for the sore spot in his chest

8 Bang, Bang, Bang He was close, less than eight feet away now.

7 Bang, Bang last one hit, I made every round count…

6 I was rather proud of myself

5 obscene gesture, he was still running, and he was going to make it

4 Hmmm? I thought to myself, should I run the clock just to make him mad?

3 Definitely, mooned the guy. He had a great look at the "sun don't shine spot"

2 To my happy place. I instructed the Pattern to send me to the place that I had "created in my mind"

Last second. I was very impressed. The prison that I was currently occupied, was on the edge of chaos. Seemingly floating in space. Inside the prison cell were a few goodies that I thought I might need for the next leg of my journey.

A PXT tactical 14 – 45 by Para-ordinance with a Black finish with gold engraving on it in the likeness of the Jack of Spades.

A 2nd PXT tactical 14-45 by Para-ordinance with a Black finish with silver engraving in the likeness of the Ace of Hearts. There was a picture on the grip of a bullet going through the left ventricle. Vicious, but I liked it.

There were eight magazines total. Black Talons in the mags. The magazines were extended 40 rounds each. Nice that. They had the likeness of the 3 and 4 of hearts, spades, diamonds, and clubs, engraved on them, respectively.

A bulletproof vest, class 9. It had a likeness embroidered on it in the likeness of the Queen of Hearts with golden threads.

A few other things that I had conjured up as useful, hardly worth mentioning, like a small nuclear device, with about 20 kilo-tone yield for example that fit on my belt and had a heartbeat sensor linked to my heart just in case someone had the bright idea of torturing me. It had engraved on it the likeness of the Ace of Spades.

After I had adorned my new threads I checked the time. The prison were I was had a unique little twist to it. Time here traveled about 1000 times faster than it did at the Pattern I just left. With only one second before AH4 made it to the end of the pattern, I had about 15 minutes before he could show up here, provided he could manage to articulate to the pattern that this was where he wanted to go… He may not though, I had messed him up pretty bad, and he had to know I would set an ambush, which I had.

Oh well, I had to get on with it.

The prison door had a password that had to be uttered correctly in order to open. If you failed the attempt then you were forced to relieve the worst romantic relationship they had ever experienced. It was an educated guess, but anybody who followed me here, I was betting had at one time a really painful relationship, the kind you're friends all try to warn you about but you go ahead and date the bitch anyway. You could only try the password once every three days.

I uttered the password, which had to be spoken in ancient Greek, which I happened to know, "Dia Logos" which roughly translates to "password". The door opened and I stepped out.

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