Chapter One

(Max)

Midnight

Never in my life have I felt so hollow. I'd barely eaten, drank, or slept for a whole week and nothing anyone would say could help. My body did everything mechanically, almost robotic. Not to sound dramatic but it felt like I had no soul; as if I felt nothing. I was sick and tired of being hurt and deserted and the only way to stop that from happening again was to detach myself from the world. I barely had enough will power to fly and even when I was in the air I didn't feel anything; only cold and empty. I didn't talk to anyone, but I still made sure to provide what was needed for the Flock no matter how much it killed me to stop grieving.

Paris had left me more damaged than ever before. I'd lost Angel, my baby, for good this time and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

I offered to keep watch every night because I didn't want to sleep; sleep only brought me nightmares. The Flock and I were camped out in some forest in Germany that had huge shrubs and trees that concealed everything that was within it. As the rest of the Flock slept: I remained the only one awake, or so I thought.

"Max." Nudge whispered. I looked up from the make-shift campfire and peered over to the tree that the small twelve year-old was lying under. It was the first time anyone had tried to speak to me directly since we'd left Paris; since we'd left Angel. I looked around at the rest of the sleeping Flock.

"Yes?" I croaked. My voice was gravelly and rough from the underuse. Nudge grimaced at the sound of the word and stared at me with wide, brown eyes. I cleared my throat. "Yes?" I tried again. I didn't sound as bad as the first time, but I still sounded nowhere near like what I used to.

Nudge stood up and settled down next to me. She rested her head on my shoulder and sighed. "We need you back, Max." She looked up at me with a sad look no child should ever have on their face. "We've been looking for Ella, Jeb, and your mom for days but you haven't even told us where we're going. The Flock hasn't said anything because… well, because we don't want to bother you, but we need to know what's going on inside your head." Nudges' voice became weaker and weaker as she spoke. "You can't shut us out forever; we need you. I'm scared without you."

I bit down on my tongue. I know that I had been emotionally moving further and further away from the Flock, but I hoped that they knew I would always be there for them. "You shouldn't be scared, Nudge. I'm here." I kissed the top of her head. But she should be scared; I had no plan. I didn't even know where we were supposed to be going.

"But you're not here, Max. You may be physically with us, but I haven't seen you until now." I could tell that she was on the verge of tears so I wrapped my arms around her as she continued to speak. "I know that – that losing her was hard on you, but we lost her, too."

I listened to the fire crackle and took a deep breath, trying to keep from breaking down. "I'm back Nudge, okay? I will never leave you. I'm so sorry I've been so distant." I gazed at my sleeping Flock; Gazzy and Iggy next to each other beside a giant bush that concealed most of them, and a a sleeping Dylan, who had been nothing but helpful to me since we left Paris. "I'm here." I whispered more to myself than to Nudge.

Nudge nodded and lay down beside me. She grabbed my hand and didn't even let go when she fell asleep.

"Get yourself together, Max." I told myself. "Find mom and Ella. Then you'll find out what to do."

I pulled my knees to my chest and focused on my surroundings again, making sure that my Flock would stay safe.

I will always keep my Flock safe.

The Next Morning

As the Flock began to awake at dawn they all looked at me wearily. They didn't try to talk to me as they stood up and started making a new fire. I rubbed my eyes and stood up, looking at every single one of the Flock members. Iggy with his pale – well, everything; Dylan with his handsome facial features; Nudge with her mocha skin and curly hair; and Gazzy who looked painfully like Angel.

The normal exuberance that the Flock had was completely wiped out. Losing Angel had taken a huge toll on them and my spiritual absence didn't help one bit.

Iggy began making breakfast out of canned fruits that he managed to steal from a supermarket. Everyone was hungry and even though the processed fruit wasn't much, it still looked like a feast to us. Nudge kept sending me nervous glances almost as if she was trying to decide that our conversation last night was a dream or not. Everyone took a small helping of the fruit in a cup and Dylan placed one in front of me without making eye contact. As everyone began digging in to their tiny breakfast I cleared my throat.

"I'm sorry, guys."

Every single person's head snapped up, completely ignoring their food. And for the Flock to ignore food was huge.

"Max?" Gazzy asked. "Was that you?"

I nodded, "I've been a pretty horrible Flock leader this past week, I know. And I'm sorry. I'm going to get back on track." I peered around at everyone who still seemed to be absorbing the fact that I was no longer in a catatonic silence. "We'll find as much information on the One Light as we can. My mom and Ella are probably where the One Light's headquarters is. We'll rescue them and hopefully stop the One Light in the process. I don't know about you guys, but I'm sick of losing people. I will stick with this Flock until the end. The second we get back my mom and Ella we can go wherever we want. We can all visit the places we've wanted to go . . ." I smiled a little, "Or we can run off to some deserted island and forget all of this ever happened."

I looked down at my dirt caked hands and then back up at my wide-eyed flock. "Sound like a plan?" Seeing as that huge speech was the first thing I had said to them all week, I wasn't expecting anything less than a stunned silence once I was finished. But, yet again, Nudge has never been a silent one.

Immediately, Nudge dropped her food and tackled me into a huge hug. Gazzy smiled a weak smile, but considering that he had just lost his sister it was a big deal. Iggy put his arm around Gazzy's shoulder and nodded at me. Dylan pried Nudge off of me with a grin and handed her the laptop.

"You, my dear, have a lot of research to do." Dylan smiled at Nudge who opened the computer and began searching everything under the sun about the One Light.

"Thanks for sticking with me, Dylan." I said.

He sat down next to me. "No problem, Max." The Flock was doing more than they had all week; Gazzy and Iggy continued to eat their food and talk about where they wanted to go and Nudge typed rapidly on the laptop. No one was paying attention to Dylan and me.

Dylan grabbed my hand in his and my whole body clenched. I was so conflicted on whether or not to pull my hand away or not, but the look on my face must have given him all of the information he needed. He let go of my hand. "I'm sorry."

I just nodded and took a deep breath. I couldn't focus on Dylan or – or … him right now; I had to worry about finding my mom and Ella and the safety of the Flock, because that was all that mattered.