ICHIGO'S EVIL ADVENTURE
Ichigo woke to a worried Rukia shaking him from his peaceful sleep "Ichigo wake up!" said Rukia obviously concerned."Oh not tonight Rukia I'm still sore from last night." Ichigo mumbled sleepily.
"Not that idiot! its a hollow!" Ichigo sat up instantly "okay! glove me!" Ichigo yelled, ready for the hollow."I told you not to say that it sounds weird..." said Rukia blushing a bit
Ichigo and Rukia rushed to a local park where her soul pager had indicated. "It has to be around here somewhere" she warned,"hes probably hiding!" bragged Ichigo. "Blockhead! dont be so arrogant!" scolded Rukia, but before she could continue a huge figure rushed at her and knocked her back.
It was a huge hollow with giant crab claws and an octopus body! Ichigo rushed to attack swinging his sword with all his might, but not leaving a single scratch. "Ichigo, this one is far to powerful for you, Ill get the others!!" she yelled.
Ichigo, who was busily trying to keep up with the jabbing claws and tentacles yells "okay hurry ruuuuuunnn Rukia!!". Rukia ran down the street and was amazed to see Orihime and Chad walking side by side near her "AH you sensed it!?" She asked.
"oh ummmm yeah we uhhhm...sure" Orihime struggled to to talk her way out of the situation. "yeah that's right that's what we were doing here" Chad looked around nervously.
"Um well...OK" Rukia was confused but she had not forgotten her mission, they still needed that Quincy guy what was his name? Then it came to rukia "have you seen Uryuu lately?!" Rukia asked frantically, "he went on some kind of cruise", Orihime said trying to remember.
"What!? what kind of cruise?!" asked Rukia in disbelief. "I dont know really, he didn't have time to tell me, he was in a rush to go, he said something about all the guys that were waiting." Rukia was confused, but then she remembered Ichigo's situation.
"We need to go to the park now! Ichigo is in trouble!" Chad and Orihime both nodded and ran after Rukia to Ichigo. Back at the park Ichigo was facing off with the giant hollow "I'm going to use my tentacles on that hot friend of yours for a cliche hentai like love scene!!" bellowed the hollow. "argh you fiend I wont let you!" said Ichigo swinging his sword at the hollow and missing narrowly.
"Ha ha whats the matter soul reaper am I too fast for you?!" Taunted the hallow. Ichigo was infuriated and charged at the hallow only to receive a devastating bitch slap from one of the many tentacles. "Ha ha I'm Rick James bitch" cried the hollow. Ichigo had been pushed too far, no one bitch slaps him or uses old unfunny jokes at his expense! It was then that he felt an evil wash over his soul and he broke out into a cold sweat. He could feel the mask forming on his face...and with that he was taken by the evil within him.
The hollow eyed the small dark figure below him "um are you going to be OK? Are you gonna cry like a little bitch? Huh? cmon lil baby!" Taunted the hollow. Slowly it moved one of its tentacles near Ichigo, it then began to smack him around. "Ha ha you like it, you love it, you need it" sang the hollow as it smacked at the small black figure.
Then as one tentacle was about to draw near his face Ichigo lunged at and bit a huge chunk off of it. "Argh you SOB what the fuck was that!?" Cried the hollow pulling his bloodied tentacle back to himself and examining it. Ichigo in his hollow form spit out the chunk of hallow tentacle and looked up at the shocked hollow "its time to go midevil on your punk ass", said Ichigo not knowing how stupid he sounded.
With one mighty slice the hallow was cut in half and dematerialized. It was just then that Rukia, Orihime, and Chad arrived at the park. "Ichigo you did it!!" Cried Rukia amazed."Do not confuse me with that weak fool I dont have a name! Now I will go and do fucked up things to prove my power!" Proclaimed the evil Ichigo.
"Wait no Ichigo!" Cried Rukia after the dark figure. "We have to follow him guys cmon!" yelled orihime, and with that they ran after their friend."Iook I can see him up there!" Yelled Chad, pointing up to a window on a slightly run down looking building. "Isn't that an orphanage!?" Cried Orihime. The children woke to a loud crash and a shower of glass, a dark figure with red glowing eyes stood in the middle of the room.
"S-S-S-Santa?" A little girl mumbled half a sleep "in your fucking dreams!" Yelled the evil entity. "Eat this!" He yelled and put his hands together to form a black ball of energy.
"Caaaaaaannnnnccccerrrrr...CANNON!!" and with that a huge blast filled the entire room. Before the children could realize what had happened the dark figure was gone. "My brain hurts" said a little boy after a few seconds of stunned silence.
The hallow Ichigo jumped with great speed from building to building already fantasizing where he'd go next. "The nursing home? No they would not even be able to scream...I know!" he thought and made a sharp turn. "What do you think he did in there!?" asked Orihime almost out of breath. "I dont know but it cant be good!" said Rukia worried.
"Ive lost track of him..." said Chad. "Ill try to sense him out!" Rukia declared, and with that she concentrated for a few moments, then looked up shocked "th-th-the hospital!?" They all ran as fast as they could to the closest hospital.
Upon arriving they noticed a window on the 2ND floor that had been broken. Orihime looked at it in shock, "th-th-that's the maternity ward!" Meanwhile inside the building the hallow Ichigo was facing down a woman who was obviously pregnant. "Tell me lady how far are you?!" Ichigo demanded. "N-N-N-Nine months..." she said frightened.
Ichigo opened his eyes wide and shot out a yellowish beam from his mouth and directed it at her pregnant stomach. "NINE MONTHS PREGNANT!? I THINK NOT!!" Declared Ichigo and cackled madly. The woman dropped to her knees and clutched her stomach "wha-wha-what have you done!?" "Muhahahahahahahahah!!" laughed Ichigo and with that he was gone.
As he was running down the hall he stopped dead in front of a large window, behind it were all the new born babies "hmmmm" he thought. "Newborn babies arnt any fun..unless!" Ichigo had another evil idea.
He put his hands out in front of him and a dark energy formed around them "RETARDATION RAY!!" The energy shot at the babies who all instantly became incredibly retarded. "Ha ha yes a good days work indeed!" proclaimed Ichigo.
At that moment Rukia, Orihime, and Chad burst out of the elevator."Ichigo are you OK!?" Cried Rukia "I'm not Ichigo I told you, you stupid bit-" but it was then that Ichigo finally overcame the hollow and reverted back to his normal self. "Ah what happened to me?!" He asked puzzled.
"You you..."Rukia looked around. "Well its not big deal! Cmon lets go back to your house and screw!" Rukia said smiling. "ALRITE!" said Ichigo. "Hey Orihime, Chad wanna come back to my place and have an orgy?!" Asked Ichigo. "Sure!" They both replyed in unison. With that they were off to Ichigo's house to have the most awsome orgy ever.