AN: This is one hell of a depressing story, I'll say that right up front. If you're the crying type, you just might need tissues for this.
Disclaimer- I don't own any of the wrestlers all rights go to the WWE.
The hall way was dark, dark and silent. It lead into a dark and silent room. In that room laid a silent child.
The illness had hit without warning only two years ago, but the damage had been done quickly, too quickly especially for a child. There had been no treatment—the doctor hadn't even been able to identify the disease.
And now, Cassie was dying, slowly wasting away from an illness that didn't even have a name.
In the living room, everyone was sitting together. In the past, they'd gathered together for many meetings in this very room. In the past, they would have all been having a grand old time, talking, telling jokes, giving each other a hard time, and recalling strange stories from the past.
But this meeting was different. There was no laughter here this time. There was only a heavy silence, a sad silence rarely broken by the people sitting amidst it.
One by one, they went into the darkened room to see their friend for the last time. Some stayed for only a moment; others, for quite some time. Everyone who had gone in thus far had come back out in tears to cry on the shoulder of another.
Randy had come back in only a moment before, crying but trying desperately not to show it.
"Paul, it's your turn. Cassie…wants her daddy… to tell her a story." Shawn's voice broke as he began to break down again.
I had chosen to sit away from the main crowd; instead I choose to sit in the corner of the room as far from everyone as possible.
Slowly, I climbed to my feet and made my way across the room. It didn't help matters any that my feet felt like they were stuck in concrete. The door was soon right in front of me, sighing to myself, I entered the room.
Cassie was tucked safely into bed beneath a thick quilt. Her body was ghostly pale and almost skeletal. She hadn't been able to eat much, and it was showing. Her hazel eyes, once so alive with the excitement of getting into trouble, were now dark and empty and rarely lit up. Even her hair seemed to droop. The illness was draining every bit of energy Cassie still possessed to the point that she couldn't even move her arms very much, let alone sit up or walk around.
The room was filled with flowers and toys and stuffed animals that had been brought as last gifts to the dying child. An odd, indifferent corner of my mind, the part of me that was taking everything in and filing it away, noticed that there were no forget-me-nots, the flower Cassie had always liked best. Then again, they didn't grow at that particular time of year. It desperately saddened me that I couldn't even bring Cassie her favorite flower before she died.
The child's head turned ever so slightly on the pillow to look at her visitor, and for one all-too-brief moment, two ebony eyes lit up again with a fiery happiness.
"Hi…Daddy" Cassie's voice was a hint of a whisper. That was all the louder she could speak anymore. "Are you…gonna tell me…a story"
"Sure" I answered sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Daddy" Cassie breathed. "I don't wanna die in here. Please" Tears were forming in the dull hazel eyes. It was the most heart wrenching thing I had ever seen.
I carefully scooped my little little girl up and took off out the screen door, into the night sky. Cassie's tiny hands held onto the front of my shirt, but very lightly, as the child's strength was nearly gone. I could feel the heat from Cassie's burning forehead right through my clothing.
I walked through the forest for a while, then stopped and sat down, crossing my legs so I could rest Cassie in his lap. From this vantage point I could see all their favorite places, the places where we had been happiest together—the lake, the hilltop and of course, Cassie's favorite, the big pile of dirt that was always conveniently transformed into a nice mud stew when it rained. My six-year-old baby girl turned her head slowly so she could look up. "It's really pretty, isn't it Daddy? I see our spots."
"Yeah…it's pretty" I answered swallowing the lump in my throat. "You know, I brought you out here like this once when you first came to Papa and me.
"Really" Cassie whispered. "Tell me."
"Well Papa couldn't get you to fall asleep. You were too afraid" I answered a smile forming lightly on my face at the fond memory. "So I said I'd try. I picked you up though you started crying and I went outside, and I carried you to this very spot and I started telling you about the world and how you would always be safe with me. I told you that when you were older, we'd explore that world together and you get to meet all types of nice people." I paused and actually chuckled. "You stopped crying and smiled at me, enjoying everything I said and we ended up staying for a while until you finally fell asleep."
Cassie sighed happily and snuggled closer. "That was nice. Can you tell me another story"
"That's why I'm here, isn't it" the lump formed again in my throat. "There's one story that I haven't told you before, but I think you should hear it." I felt Cassie's head move slightly, a nod.
"Once upon a time" I began, suddenly aware that someone was nearby watching, though I didn't stop to check out. "There was a King. The king was very sad for he didn't have a family and nobody liked him. Well one day that king met another king who like him and they became best friends before they got married. Well the two kings were happy together but soon the one king got a new job and the other king couldn't see him very much. The second king soon noticed that his friend was sad and decided to help him so he got him a job too. Soon both kings were very happy because they made a lot of friends, but they still weren't truly happy because they didn't have a child of their own. Then, one day something amazing happened"
I had to stop once again to fight the knot in my throat. Cassie noticed and prodded me gently, "What happen"
"One day the King's sister called him up and asked him to take care of her daughter. The king agreed and when his sister dropped her off, the kings realized that something bad happened to the little girl so they decided they were going to take care of the little girl and make her their daughter, their princess. From that moment on the King's heart when to the princess and she became his everything. The once sad king was sad no longer."
The child in my arms sighed. "I'm glad that the king was happy again. It's a happy ending if everyone's happy."
But it's not a happy ending, I thought bitterly, realizing that the someone who had appeared nearby when the story began was still there, but still chose to ignore the presence. It's not a happy ending when that light in the darkness goes out. And that's what happening now. There are no more happy endings for us.
In my arms, my little girl shuddered suddenly, then was still again. "Daddy…it hurts…"
Powerless, I tightened my arms ever so slightly around the child. "I know, I know. But it'll all be over soon, Cassie. It won't hurt for much longer."
"I don't wanna leave you, Daddy" Cassie said suddenly in a raspy whisper. "You can't come with me when I die, and that's what makes me sad. You and Papa and Uncle Randy and Uncle John…none of you can come with me. I'm gonna be by myself." That impassioned speech left the child panting for air.
Something moved within me, and I found an answer to comfort both Cassie and myself. "No you won't. You'll be with my Dad and Mom. They're probably waiting for you. They will be there."
"Really"
"I believe it."
Tears leaked into my eyes and I couldn't hold them back, Cassie turned and looked up at me, "Don't be sad, Daddy, I don't want you to be sad."
"I know Baby, I know but it's hard"
"No it ain't Daddy, just remember the happy times, Plus you have Papa." Cassie voice was small but her words were powerful.
"That doesn't mean I wouldn't miss you" I answered, placing a kiss on her burning forehead.
"I'll miss you too but I'll be watch over you like you did for me, plus I'll get to see you again." Tears continued to roll down my face, but I could help but smile for though Cassie as the one sick and dying, she didn't want anyone to be sad. She was the one trying to make me feel
My smile soon faded as fast as it had come; for once again Cassie shuddered in pain. Once the pain passed Cassie eyes again landed on me, "I'm gunna miss you Daddy, but I'm not afraid anymore and I want you to take care of Buba, he gunna need you. I love you Daddy." I pulled her lightly into chest and she rested her head on my shoulder, "I love you, Baby Girl, and always will." I planned a kiss on her forehead before I felt her shudder and this time, when she stopped moving, she did not speak or move again. I looked down at the little girl who had given me everything, and saw she had fallen asleep, or that's what I wanted to believe.
The nearby presence chose that moment to come close enough for me to finally identify who it was, the person came into view and spoke. "That was beautiful, Paul. I know how hard that was."
"Yeah…" I mumbled, moving my daughter from against my chest so that I could see her face. Cassie looked peaceful with the tiniest smile on her face. "She's really gone now, isn't she, John."
"I'm afraid so." John answered his voice breaking. "We're all going to miss her."
"I hope she okay and someone will take care of her." I answered never taking my eyes from my baby girl's face.
"I believe someone is after all everyone who meets her loves her."
XXXXXX
Everyone gathered around the small casket most with tears in their eyes. It has been about a week since Cassie death and still no one could believe it. Not much words were said mostly everyone just sat there, lost in their own thoughts and memories. Finally the silences ended for one by one people walked up to tell stories or just to say a few words. I was too lost in my own thoughts to really pay attention. Finally it was my turn, sighing I grabbed Buba, Cassie's stuffed monkey from the chair next to me and walked up. Puffy, tear-filled eyes stared up at me.
"When I first met Cassie almost four years ago, she was a scared, shy little girl. She was my niece who had gone through a lot of abusive from her parents. I fell in love with her the moment I met her and didn't want to have to go through that again. When she passed away Cassie wasn't my niece, she was my daughter, my baby girl. When she left this world much too soon she took part of me with her. She wanted everyone to be happy, not to care that she was dying. She never let people know how she was really feeling. Two years of pain finally ended a week ago, leaving each of us with pain that will never heal. Everyone always says that it's good that she left, good that her pain stopped, I hope that's true and if you're somewhere listening Cassie, Daddy will always love you, I may not be able to see you but I know you're there."
XXXXXX
The sun was warm against my back as he knelt before the small mound of dirt that covered my little girls' body. There were several bouquets of flowers decorating the site, placed there by the others. Actually, a few of them had offered to come out here with me, but I'd refused. This was a pilgrimage I had to make by myself.
I suddenly wished it was the season for forget-me-nots, Cassie's favorite flower. Cassie had always loved forget-me-nots; every year, she would go out around the yard and pick bouquet upon bouquet of the tiny blue blossoms for Shawn and me. It only seemed fitting that someone should give her some, but it just wasn't possible at this time of year.
I didn't know how long I sat there for, but when reality clocked in again, the sun had moved a good distance across the sky. It was probably getting late. Steadying myself, I rose to my feet and turned to leave.
For a moment I stood there, not sure what to think, what to feel. Finally I turned around to face my daughter's final resting place. "I love you, Baby." I whispered before turning away. The breeze picked up, bringing along a single voice that seemed to fade away like an echo, "Don't forget me, Daddy…" "Don't worry, I won't forget," I vowed, looking up at the sky, "I never could."