Beauregard the janitor waited patiently in the supplies closet, listening while Mister Theater Manager Kermit the Boss closed out the show with a loud, "Well, that's all we have time for today folks, but before we go let's have a big round of applause for our special guest, Godzilla!" There was a bit of clapping, not at all at the level there usually was at the end of the show though, and then a roar and smoky smell that seemed to filter through the walls to where he was hiding. Beauregard hoped Mister Godzilla Monster didn't set fire to the curtains again; the soot was very hard to clean and his trusty mop, Belleregard, wasn't going to be of much help when it came to cleaning up burnt fabric.
Hearing Mister Kermit Sir's final shout of, "We'll see you all next time on The Muppet Show!" and the extra cheers and noise that always brought, Beauregard carefully pushed open the door. The Muppet Orchestra was still playing of course, but everyone would be off the stage and soon the theater would be empty so he could get to work and not have to worry about blundering into an act and messing up a scene. The cast didn't tend to appreciate that very much and Beauregard himself really hated it when that happened. Acting was scary and nowhere near as fun as cleaning.
He almost crashed into Mister Chef from the 'Cooking with the Swedish Chef' segment once he made his way into the hall. Mister Chef had been singing his favorite song, which, come to think of it, was actually the only song Beauregard had ever heard him sing. But that was just fine with him, Beauregard liked the tune, even if only knew the words to the chorus and he sang along with the "Börk, börk, börk!" which was very fun, especially when he pushed Belleregard in time with each of the börks.
"Eh, Beooregerd," Mister Chef said when the song was over. "Zeere-a yuoo ere-a. Pleese-a du nut oopee zee oovee tuneeght, I'm cuuleeng a suoofffflé doon in zeere-a und I dun't vunt it tu fell. Ve-a dun't vunt unuzeer inceedent leeke-a vhet heppened veet zee strungleeng speghettee, du ve-a? "
Beauregard had no idea what the Chef was saying, he never did, but that didn't stop him from replying, "Right. Yes, of course, Chef! Börk , börk, börk, Chef!" before giving the Chef a quick nod and continuing on his way to the stage. He'd have to make sure to take extra special care in the Chef's kitchen tonight. The oven hadn't been cleaned in a while, the Chef would probably appreciate it if he took care of that before the Chef got in tomorrow.
Right after he turned the corner, Miss Camilla the Chicken flew past Beauregard. She was being chased by Mister Gonzo. Again. "Camilla! Wait! You have to let me finish my serenade! Come back! Camilllllllllllllllllla!" Beauregard shrugged and swished Belleregard along the floor in their wake to clean up any stray feathers that Camilla left behind. He didn't understand what was going on between those two, but he did know he didn't mind clean up after Camilla. Besides, her feathers were much easier to get off the floor than the sequins that always fell off of Miss Piggy's costumes. Sequins were very small and very annoying.
No matter what anyone else might say, he did not trip on the penguins. Okay, he sort of did, but it was not his fault. Mister Crazy Harry had his detonator out again and was stringing TNT everywhere and if Beauregard hadn't used all of his attention to gather all of the explosives up and tossing them in the garbage can things might have gotten messy. There were still some singe marks on the wall in the Men's bathroom after the last time Mister Crazy Harry had his bomb supplies out. Luckily, the penguins were all on their way to all you can eat night at the sushi bar so they accepted his apology without a second thought after they assured Beauregard he hadn't hurt any of them.
Walking past the science labs Beauregard stopped for a moment to watch as all sorts of colorful goo shot out of a particularly shiny and complicated looking piece of lab equipment. It was very pretty. He liked the science labs, even though he wasn't allowed in there (Mister Doctor Bunsen Honeydew was very insistent he stay away from all the experiments after the 'slime that ate the old lab and half the wardrobe department' incident). That meant he didn't have to try to think about how he would get the florescent orange and other brightly colored splatter off of the ceiling. Mister Beaker would figure it out, though. Mister Beaker might be a bit excitable, but he was very smart.
He passed the orchestra next as they, having packed up after finishing for the day, headed backstage. "Animal! Animal! Animal!" Mister Animal was shouting his name over and over as he pulled on his leash, running in front of the others. Mister Zoot looked like he was just about asleep, but Mister Rowlf the Dog and the conductor, Mister Nigel, paused in their discussion about trying a new tempo for the closing number to wave to Beauregard on their way.
The audience was almost entirely gone by the time Beauregard got to the stage. Only a few stragglers remained, including the nice old gentlemen that were always in the box seats week after week. "Well, they certainly were on fire tonight!" one shouted to the other while thumping him on the back.
"That explains the smoke!" the other replied, coughing a few times, and then they both laughed as they left their box and soon the entire theater was quiet, which was just the way Beauregard liked it.
Whistling to himself, Beauregard started his work for the evening, the theater would be shining by the time he was done. He loved his job.
